Skid Row
by Vinividivinci
Summary: He's nothing but a drunk - a bum - a man without friends, without a life, without a home.  Will Skid Row claim him as one of theirs, forever?  Jack-centric but also a team fic and elements of S/J
1. The Drunk

**_A new story, but don't worry - I will complete Lagrimas, I promise. This is angsty and full of hurt/comfort although I'll keep it not too graphic in the whump dept. It's not primarily an S/J romance piece but you know me - it'll probably creep in there sometime (so be warned if you don't like ship). Enjoy!_**

He whimpered in pain and distress. He didn't know where he was, barely knew _who_ he was. He'd lost all track of time, not knowing the month, the day or the hour. All he knew was this bare room, with nothing but a toilet and a thin blanket.

They brought him food and water, but it wasn't regularly, so he couldn't keep track of days. There was no natural light, just a bare bulb high in the ceiling which shone all the time. He'd taken to pulling the threadbare blanket over his head just so he could get some rest.

He didn't even get much of that however. If they didn't come for him and take him to _that_ room, they played music and loud, discordant noises all day long. He knew – at least at first – that it was a common torture technique. It was done to exhaust him, to wear him down, to break him. He was pretty sure it had worked.

He didn't know what was happening anymore, but he did know that he was not the same person he had been. Yes, he was broken, his mind almost gone. He'd lost a great part of himself and no longer knew what he was. There were days he wondered if he was still a human being.

They were coming. He heard the footsteps and the voices he'd come to recognize, although he didn't know their names. He whimpered again, and huddled into the corner, pressing himself into it as if he could disappear. The door opened and he heard a laugh. He knew then he could never disappear. This was now his life.

"Look at him now! He's nothing but a scared little baby! Come on baby, time to go."

He shook his head wildly back and forth and pushed himself even deeper into the corner. He pulled the blanket over his head. Maybe they wouldn't notice him then.

He felt hands – rough, angry hands, pull the blanket aside. He looked up in terror at the two men who had caused him so much pain and couldn't help but begin to cry. The tears streaked down his face, causing the men to laugh again. As one reached down to grasp his arms he tried hitting out – all that got him was a slap across the face. That ended his defiance. After that he allowed the men to lift him and drag his filthy body across the floor.

"God, he stinks", one of his tormentors commented.

"Yeah, we were told not to let him bathe or change clothes. That's fine except _he_ didn't have to put up with him. I don't suppose this one'll last long anyway and then we can just burn everything."

"I thought he wanted him left alive?"

"Maybe, although he's so far gone now I don't know what good it will do. I think he's pretty brain damaged already."

"Yeah – I have a feeling that may have been the idea. I think he wanted revenge and killing our guy here would have been too quick."

The voice laughed again. "Well, this certainly wasn't quick. I'm just surprised the poor bugger lasted as long as he did. God, he was a tough bastard."

"That he was. Oh well, it was more fun for us. I wonder how long they want us to keep this up?"

"Don't know and don't care. As long as we get paid – and we can have some fun doing it – I'm happy. Okay, here we are my precious. I hope you're looking forward to some more fun!"

He could feel himself being led into the room; the place of terror and pain. For a third time he whimpered as they lifted him up onto the table and strapped him down. Now he realized he did know where he was – he was in hell.

By the time he was dragged back to his cell he was unable to make a sound. His throat was raw from screaming and there were no tears left. He could no longer think clearly. Strange images swirled around in his brain but he could never settle on any one of them long enough to figure out what they meant.

He felt himself being flung onto the floor and knew there must be more pain as a result, but by this time his body was too numb, too past feeling, for it to register. He heard noises and then a loud clang – and then nothing.

"I think you went too hard this time Abel. He's not going to be pleased."

"Nah, I think he'll be okay when he recovers – at least as okay as he can get now."

"I don't know. Did you see his face and his eyes? They looked dead."

There was a brief pause and fear could be felt. The man called Abel suddenly felt a chill wash over him. His instructions had been to take the man to the brink – but not over. He realized that he'd enjoyed his work a little too much and he had hurt the man too ferociously. Thinking back to what he'd done, he realized that he may just have killed his prisoner. At the least, he'd destroyed his mind.

"Whatya think he'll do?" Abel asked his companion. "Do you think he'll kill us when he realizes?"

"Him? Oh he wouldn't dirty his hands with something like that. No, he'll have someone else do it."

"So, what are we gonna do?"

There was another silence as the other man thought. Finally he spoke. "I think we should get outta here and go somewhere where no one will ever find us. We've both made some good money – enough to live on for a long, long time, as long as we're not stupid with it. That's what I'm gonna do anyway."

"What about him?" Abel pointed to the closed door. "Do we just leave him here?"

"Hmmm? No, I think we should let him go. That should distract the boss long enough to let us get away. If they find him dead they'll come after us straight away."

"Let him go? You mean take him back to his people?"

"Hell no! I mean just let him go. He doesn't even know who he is now. We'll take him somewhere no one will think to look for him."

In his pain and delirium he heard the footsteps and the voices return. No, he cried to himself, it was too soon. They couldn't be coming for him again.

As the door opened he forced himself to stand and staggered forward, attempting to flee. He heard that horrible laughter again and arms grabbed him. He collapsed, too frightened, too anguished to continue. They had him in their grasp and the pain would never end.

The two men stuffed their prisoner in the trunk of their car and quickly drove away from the abandoned building that they had inhabited for so long. They made sure that no traces were left of their time spent there. No one was around and no one would ever know what had occurred behind those walls.

They drove for hours – for days. No one was expecting to hear from them until the weekend so they had time. They would stop occasionally to give their prisoner some water and a little food, although he couldn't eat much. They would allow him out to relieve himself, although sometimes he couldn't hold himself long enough. They'd finally resorted to putting adult diapers on him so he wouldn't continue to make a mess.

Finally they arrived at their destination. They waited in a dark alley until late at night. Then they got out of the car and opened the trunk. Pulling the man out they set him on the side of the alley. Then the one called Abel took out a tall bottle from a paper bag and poured it over the man.

"There you go. Enjoy your new home." Without a backward glance they got in the car and drove away, leaving behind them a broken human being.

"We got another one, Dave."

"God, where are they all coming from?" Dave walked over and bent down to the man. "Geesh, he smells like a distillery. What should we do with him?"

"Arrest him. The businesses around here are pressuring the mayor to get the streets cleaned up. They don't want a bunch of drunks pissing around their buildings and disturbing their customers."

"They have customers? I didn't think anyone would come down here unless they had to."

"Yeah, I guess that's the problem. All I know is we were told to get these bums off the streets. If it takes putting them in jail then so be it. It can be the courts problem then."

Together the two police officers hoisted the man to his feet. He was tall, but extremely thin and emaciated so didn't weigh much.

"God, he looks like a skeleton."

"Yeah, these guys pretty much don't eat anything that doesn't come in a bottle. I don't expect he'll last long by the look of him. They don't live long on the streets."

"Uh Dave, he doesn't sound like he's breathing real well. You think he's sick or something?"

"Probably has a bum liver plus about a million other things. A lot of these guys end up with pneumonia." Dave leaned over and looked more closely at the man. "Yeah, he doesn't look good. I guess we'd better take him to the hospital rather than the jail."

They pulled the man down the alley until they'd reached their squad car and then laid him across the back seat. Shutting the door they then got in and headed towards the hospital – at a slow and steady pace. No emergency here – not when it was just a bum off the street. As far as the cops were concerned, he'd probably be better off dead anyway.

"Will the hospital take him?" Steve, the younger officer asked. This was his first night in and around Skid Row.

"Yeah, but as soon as he's sober and not on death's door they'll let him go, then he'll be back on the street. It's what happens to all of them. Costs the tax payer a pretty penny!"

They arrived a few minutes later at the busy emergency ward of the downtown hospital. It was crowded and the nurse on duty gave the officers a brief nod of acknowledgement.

"Whatya have?" One of the nurses asked.

"A drunk. We found him in a back alley. He didn't look like he was doing so well so we brought him here."

The nurse gave a long-suffering sigh. "Great, just what we need – another one. Okay, let me find a gurney and you can leave him on it. We're backed up so it'll probably be a few hours before anyone can even look at him." She motioned to an orderly who eventually brought a gurney. The two officers couldn't get rid of the man fast enough. He really reeked.

"Jose", the nurse spoke to the orderly, "wheel him away from the rest of the patients. We don't want them to have to smell him. It'll make them even sicker." Jose gave a nod and wheeled the drunk down a little used hallway.

"Thanks officers, we've got him now." With a nod they turned and left, to head back to patrolling the streets around skid row.

The man – known only as 'the drunk' was left, ignored and forgotten.

Many hundreds of miles away, however, three people sat, sick with fear and worry. They had not forgotten their friend and they would not. In fact, they were determined to do all they could to find him and return him to where he should be – at their side.

**_Please note that many of the details of Skid Row - and the way the homeless are treated - are based in fact (it's what I do for a living). Although in this chapter (and throughout the story) I portray some of the police and hospital workers in a less than positive light, I'd also like to note that many police officers, nurses, etc. are extremely compassionate, good people who do what they can to help those most vulnerable. I will be portraying them as well - and consider them to be heroes! Thank you._**


	2. Charlie

When Nurse Alvarez came on duty, the night staff was ready to leave. It had been a busy night in the downtown hospital – but then they all were. There was never enough staff and always too many patients. Some of them came because they had nowhere else to go. They weren't too sick, but they didn't have insurance and so couldn't go to a regular doctor. Others were sick – some were dying – and some did die – often alone – victims of poverty and neglect.

Tina Alvarez was one of the ones who hadn't become hardened by the long hours, low pay, and seemingly endless parade of sick and forgotten people. She still had compassion – still had a heart – still cared about the people who came to this hospital. She didn't see the dirt, or the drugs or the alcohol or the mental illness – she saw the person who had at one time been the child or brother or sister or mother or father of someone. She saw a human being who was hurt and lost and alone.

This morning, as she came on duty, she looked around at those people still waiting to be seen. She saw the elderly man, sitting propped up in a corner – alone and lonely. She saw the young teenager, covered in piercings and tattoos, trying to look tough, but instead looking scared – and also alone. She saw the young mother, no more than a child herself, holding on to a sick infant – not knowing where to turn. All of these people looked lost and frightened – and all of them were alone.

She sighed and made her rounds, speaking sofly to each person, touching them gently on the arm or hand – showing that someone did care – that it did matter to at least one person whether they lived or died.

As she walked across the waiting room she passed in front of a small, unused corridor. There was little down there but an electrical closet – only ever accessed by the service staff. She was about to walk past when she heard a small groan. Stopping, she listened, trying to figure out where the sound was coming from. She heard it again, and realized it was coming from the hallway. Turning the corner, she saw a lone gurney – but with no one on it. It was only when she heard the groan, again, that she saw the body on the floor, jammed up against the wall.

"What the -!" She rushed over and knelt down beside the person – pushing the gurney out of the way.

The man was filthy – obviously someone from the streets. By the look of him, he was both malnourished and seriously ill. She felt for his pulse, which was faint and thready. His breathing was rough, and she was pretty sure he had pneumonia.

She quickly stood up and ran to the end of the short hallway. "I need some help over here", she shouted. "We have a man down – I need an orderly and we need to get him into emerg."

A few minutes later they had the man in a trauma room and the staff were stripping off his clothes. They all wore protective clothing – including gloves and masks. Who knew what diseases he had. Tuberculosis wasn't uncommon on the streets.

"God, how's he even alive?", one of the young Interns asked. "He looks half starved!"

"He probably is", Woodward, the Chief Resident responded. "These guys just drink themselves to death. There's nothing you can do to help them." He watched as the nurses and the intern took the man's vital signs and drew blood.

"Should I arrange for an X-Ray Doctor?" Nurse Alvarez asked.

The doctor shrugged. "I guess so, although it seems a waste. We could be helping people who look after themselves, rather than people who choose to drink themselves to death."

"Uh, sir, we don't have a tox screen yet. We don't know if he's drunk." The nurse tried to speak respectfully – although as far as she was concerned, guys like Woodward shouldn't be doctors.

The doctor laughed. "Yeah, right. I think the chances of him not being drunk are pretty much nil. God, you can smell it on him – at least through the body odor. You think these guys would have some pride – maybe take a shower sometime."

"It's kind of hard to take a shower when you're living on the streets!"

The doctor scowled – not liking being corrected by a lowly nurse. "Take him for his X-Ray and then we can figure out what treatment to give him. I don't want to administer anything until we know his blood alcohol level." He turned away, pulling off his gloves. As far as he was concerned, he'd done more than anyone could be expected to do for a low life like this.

"What about oxygen, Doctor?" the little pushy nurse suggested.

He was infuriated. Who the hell did she think she was? _He was_ the doctor. He also didn't appreciate the fact that she had reminded him of something he should have ordered. He didn't like to be shown up in front of the rest of the staff – especially his interns.

"Of course Nurse", he said sarcastically. "Why don't you go ahead and give him oxygen. I'm sure that will change his life!"

"Yes Doctor. I don't know about changing his life – but it might save it!"

No one had ever accused Tina Alvarez of being a coward. When it came to her patients, she was fierce. She'd probably hear about this from her supervisor but frankly, she didn't care. The Doctor was an ass!

She carefully fit the oxygen mask over the man's face. She knew it would take a while for the blood work to come back so, in the meantime, she got some soap, warm water, and a wash cloth and began the difficult task of trying to clean him up.

He'd been wearing adult diapers when he'd been found, which had been unusual. Homeless people usually couldn't afford something like that. It had been completely saturated, so had obviously been on him for a long time. He was also terribly chapped and raw. She would have suspected that he'd come from a mental hospital, except for the filthy state he was in. As bad as some of the mental hospitals were, they tried to keep their patients at least somewhat clean. It didn't look like this man had bathed in months.

There was a slight movement as she gently washed his leg. She looked up to see a tiny crack of brown from his partially open eyes. He seemed to be staring at her, although he had no expression on his face.

She lifted her hands from his leg and walked up to his head. "Hi", she said softly. "You're awake. I'm Nurse Alvarez and we're looking after you. Can you tell me your name?"

The man continued to stare, although he tracked her with his eyes. His expression didn't change, but for some reason she was sure he was listening to her. Whether or not he understood it was impossible to say.

She moved again and she felt, rather than saw, him flinch. He had a brief look of terror on his face, but then it returned to its blank stare. What was going on in this man's mind, she wondered?

She reached out, this time very slowly, and took his hand. She held it loosely – allowing him to pull away if he wanted. "It's okay. You're safe now and no one will hurt you. We're going to look after you. You're in a hospital."

Nothing. She sighed, figuring he must be a mental patient – maybe someone who had run away from a hospital and had gotten lost on the streets. She reached down with her other hand and gently pushed his grey hair out of his eyes. He needed a hair cut along with everything else.

"Just rest. You're safe and I'm here." He watched her steadily for another few minutes and then his eyes began to slowly close. At the last second, just as she was sure he was slipping into sleep, she felt his hand gently squeeze hers.

She smiled.

* * *

><p>"Nothing?" she asked, not even saying hello as she walked into Daniel's office.<p>

"Hi Sam. No – not a thing."

"You said the investigator was good."

"He was – he is – but he has nothing to go on. He's checked out everything he can and says there's just no sign of Jack anywhere."

"How the hell could he disappear like that? _Someone_ had to see something."

"Why?" Daniel asked. "He was up at his cabin. It's isolated. Anyone could have gone up there and kidnapped him and none of us would know about it for days."

"But he goes up all the time. Why now? Why would someone have kidnapped him? We haven't gotten any kind of ransom note or threat. It's like he just disappeared."

"Maybe we should be looking off world Major Carter", Teal'c spoke for the first time. "You may be correct that he 'disappeared'. "

"You mean the Asgard could have taken him?"

"That is possible, although I am sure they would have told us. No, I was thinking more of some of out other enemies."

"If it was the Goa'uld surely we would have seen a ship. And if not them, who else? Who hates the Colonel that much that they'd do this?"

The three friends sat silently. They'd been over all of this many, many times – but still were no closer to an answer. O'Neill had been gone for 6 weeks, and in that time they had heard nothing and had not one clue.

The Air Force had declared him MIA. At first they'd wanted to declare him AWOL – but Hammond had convinced them that this was not something Jack would do. No – he had been taken – that they were sure of.

At that moment Daniel's phone rang. He answered and spoke briefly before hanging up. "Hammond wants to see us", he said. No one said anything, but they all worried that it was bad news.

They made their way up to the General's office and were immediately invited in.

"Sg1, I'm sorry to have to call you in like this, but I've just gotten off the phone from the Pentagon."

"They've found Jack?" Daniel asked, dreading the reply.

"No. They've haven't discovered anything. I've just gotten word that we are to cease the investigation."

"WHAT?" all three replied angrily.

"We can't stop looking for him", Daniel practically shouted.

"They've informed me that the investigation will continue, but that our resources are 'better put elsewhere'." It was only then that the team realized that Hammond was seething. It was almost more than he could manage to control his anger and disgust.

"Better put _elsewhere_?" Sam asked. "What the hell Sir, with all due respect, what the _hell_ are they thinking?"

"They're thinking of their budget Major", he answered directly. "The fact is, they don't think the Colonel is still alive and they think we're just wasting our time."

"They think he's dead?" Sam asked, this time sounding stricken.

"They haven't been able to discover anything. They figure that if he was still alive we would have heard something by now."

There was silence in the room. It was Daniel who finally spoke. "Do you believe that Sir?" he asked.

"I don't know what to believe Dr. Jackson. What I do know is that Jack O'Neill is probably one of the toughest, most determined, stubborn individuals I've ever met. If he had any choice – if there was anything he could do – then he's still alive."

"I do not believe O'Neill is dead", Teal'c said calmly. "I believe we would know if he were gone."

General Hammond looked at him, a question in his eyes.

"O'Neill is our brother, our friend. We would feel if he was not with us. I believe he is in trouble, that he needs us. I do not believe he is dead."

The other two slowly nodded. Yes, it was true, thought Daniel. He just had a gut feeling that Jack was alive. The problem was how the hell to find him.

"We have to keep looking Sir", Sam said.

Hammond looked at the woman in front of him and was reminded of her father. Jacob would get just such a look on his face – and woe betide anyone who got in his way!

"I'm under official orders to stop this investigation. I cannot allow any of my officers or employees to take time from their work to keep looking for Colonel O'Neill."

There was a pause and then Carter spoke. "Uh, what about on our own time Sir?" she asked.

"What you do on your personal time is no one's business but yours", he answered. "I cannot _officially_ authorize the use of any resources from the SGC in your search."

He looked at each of the three of his people slowly and directly. They each nodded, understanding, without words, what he was saying.

"Sir?" Carter asked. "I would like to take some personal time. I believe I have quite a few weeks owed to me and things are quiet right now."

"And me too Sir", Daniel said. "I'd like to take some vacation time."

"What about you Teal'c?", the General looked at him.

"I too General Hammond, would like to take some time for myself."

"Okay people, you have two weeks. Just don't let me hear of you doing anything here about finding the Colonel. If you come on base, you'd better show that you're doing some of your own work."

"Yes Sir."

They each headed to their rooms to collect their things. As Daniel was leaving, Walter accidently bumped into him.

"Sorry Sergeant", he said.

"It's okay Sir."

When Walter didn't move out of his way, Daniel frowed, wondering what was going on.

"Sir – Dr Jackson – if there's anything you need – if you need access to anything – or anything – there are those of us here who would be happy to help."

"Uh thank you Sergeant. I'll keep that in mind." He watched as Walter walked away and couldn't help but smile. He wondered if Jack knew how much loyalty he inspired in the men and women of this base.

Later that evening the three friends sat eating pizza at Sam's place, trying to figure out what to do next.

"Dr. Lee came up to me today and offered to help", Sam told them as they sat drinking their coffee. "He said all the science staff wanted us to know they would do whatever they can to help find the Colonel."

"I too was approached", Teal'c added. "Master Sergeant Siler informed me that all the technical staff were 'itching to do something to help find Colonel O'Neill." I do not know why they were itching, but I told him we appreciate the offer."

"The whole damn place wants to do something but the idiots in Washington just want us to sit on our butts and ignore the fact that one of the best damn officers they have has been kidnapped."

"To be fair Daniel, there are no more leads. They're as stymied as we are." Sam was trying to be reasonable, but in actual fact she was as angry as he was.

"There's got to be something we haven't thought of", Daniel said. "What are we missing? Why would someone have taken Jack? It must be for something he knew or something he could do."

"Daniel, we've gone over this a million times!" Sam wanted to scream. This wasn't getting them anywhere. "We've got to ask ourselves different questions.

"Maybe it is not what we ask, but rather who", Teal'c interjected.

"Yeah, you're probably right Teal'c, but who else _can_ we ask?"

"I believe we should speak with Harry Maybourne."

"Damn!" Daniel said after a couple of minutes of stunned silence. "Why the hell didn't we think of that before?"

"Maybe because he's a traitor and we have no idea where he is."

* * *

><p>He wasn't in pain, and he was clean, but he didn't know where he was. He was still frightened – sure that they'd come and take him to that room again. There were new people who came to see him – people in white. Some of them were kind, and others were not – although they did not hurt him.<p>

He was confused. They stuck something in his arm, and he seemed to recognize it, but he didn't know what it was for. They kept trying to put tubes under his nose and he kept taking them off. Finally, the nice one came and gently asked him to keep them there. He liked her – he listened to her and left them, even though they bothered him.

The man – he didn't like him. He wore white too but he was mean and rough. He was afraid of him – he thought the man was going to take him to another room. The only thing that saved him was her. She stood by him and held his hand when the man in white was there.

"There you go", she said, putting a tray in front of him. "You've got to eat, you know. If you don't we'll have to tube feed you and you don't want that. Come on, let me help you eat." She picked up the fork and took a bit of the scrambled egg and held it to his mouth.

He turned his head – he didn't want to eat. He wasn't hungry.

"Come on, please, for me?"

He finally opened his mouth. He trusted her – she was nice. He slowly swallowed, even though he felt slightly sick.

She got him to eat a few bites before he closed his mouth and refused to take any more. She gently wiped his mouth and smiled.

"That's right. You did really well. Maybe next time you'll have a bit more."

She moved the tray away and looked at her patient. He had a bit more color in his face as the antibiotics began to work. He'd been suffering from malnutrition and dehydration and from pneumonia. He also had a pretty serious urinary tract infection and had numerous infected abrasions and burns and some deep bruising. What was strange was that there was no alcohol in his system – none at all.

Tina had found the results both confusing and disturbing. The wounds that they'd found on his body had been those of someone who had been abused. The fact that he'd smelled of booze – but had none in his system – pointed to something sinister. The problem was, no one cared.

Dr. Woodward completely ignored her when she brought the information forward. He'd shrugged and mumbled something and had moved on. As far as he was concerned, the man was a bum – a homeless man – and therefore wasn't worth his attention.

She'd gone to her superior who had sighed and told her to put her energy into her other patients.

"Tina, you can't help everyone. He was probably beaten while on the streets. You know as well as I do that that's not unusual. We can't save everybody."

"No Theresa, I know – but we should try to help the people in our care. There's something strange here and I think we should check into it."

"And how can we do that?" Theresa Cain, the chief nursing supervisor asked. "We don't even know his name, and from what I've been told he can't even speak."

"I think he can – I don't think he wants to."

"Why not?"

"I think he's been hurt – badly. He's frightened and doesn't trust anybody. He's starting to trust me a bit but for now I think we have to try and figure out who he is."

"Tina – you know we don't have the resources for this. We have more than we can handle already and trying to track down one man, who doesn't seem to even want help, is just not feasible."

"Please Theresa. All we have to do is see if someone is looking for him. There may be a missing person's file on him or something."

"Okay fine. Look, talk to security and ask them to run his picture and see if you can get his fingerprints. We can send them over to the police and they can check them to see if he's on file anywhere."

"Thanks!"

She'd gone back to the man's room and asked if she could take his picture with her phone. He'd given her his usual stare but hadn't refused, so she'd gone ahead. She suspected that the finger prints would be a lot harder.

She was right. Security came in while she wasn't there. She heard about it from some of the other nurses. They'd heard the screams and had rushed in. The security employee was trying to pull the man out of the corner, where he was cowering.

"What are you doing?" Nurse Stanko rushed over and pulled the security guard off of him. "Get out!"

"He wouldn't let me take his finger prints", the man retorted.

"Well then, you should have left. He doesn't have to give them to you."

"What if he's a criminal?" he asked.

"What difference does that make?" she asked. "You're not a police officer and you have no rights here. Now GET OUT!"

By the time Tina had returned she could see that the man was curled up in a fetal position on his bed. He was shaking and whimpering.

Damn! This was her fault. She wanted to go down to the Security office and ream them out. They were morons!

"It's okay", she approached the bed carefully, not wanting to frighten him anymore than he already was. "No one is going to hurt you. I'm so sorry that happened. I won't let them near you, okay?"

It took her almost 20 minutes before he'd even take the blanket off his face. Finally, after she'd been there almost 45 minutes, he looked up at her. He still didn't have any expression on his face and she was beginning to wonder if there really was anything left inside his mind. Still – he needed to be treated with compassion, if nothing else.

"There, that's better", she said softly. "You're okay now." She reached over and gently put her hand on the side of his face. She was surprised when he turned his face into her hand, as if craving the touch of another human being.

"I wish you could tell me your name", she whispered. She was shocked when he answered, his voice rough from lack of use.

"Charlie."


	3. Joe

"What do you mean, 'gone'", he practically shouted. "He can't be gone!"

"I'm sorry Sir, but he's no longer there. We checked carefully and everything's been taken out – the place has been stripped bare."

"Oh God!" He paced around his office, picking things up off his desk and then setting them down.

The other man – dressed formally in a suit – stood silently, trying to appear calm. Inside he was shaking.

"What the hell do we do now?" the older man asked, sitting down in his chair. "You assured me these guys were professionals!"

"They were – they are Sir. We've used them for this kind of thing in the past and have never had any problems. I can't understand this either."

"Do you think the Air Force found him?"

"No Sir, I don't. According to my sources he's still listed as missing. The good news is they've stopped the SGC from searching any more. It's in the hands of Air Force Security for now – and the word is they think he's dead."

"Do _you_ think he's dead? Maybe that's why they took off."

"Could be Sir. That's a likely scenario. Abel can get a bit carried away – really enjoys his job. It may be that they went too far and they got scared."

"Shit! I told you specifically to make sure he wasn't killed until we got what we needed."

"I know, however it's been weeks. According to Abel he was pretty much completely out of it anyway. I don't think we would have gotten anything useful at this point."

"Oh, you don't know him the way I do. I'm pretty sure he was still in there – probably just hiding. Crap!" he stood up again and restarted his pacing. "We've got to make sure. If he isn't dead then there's the likelihood that he'll come back. I can't afford – no _we_ can't afford to have that happen."

"But he doesn't know it was you – us – Sir."

"Oh yes he does. O'Neill is a smart one, even if he pretends otherwise. No, we've got to find him – and the sooner the better. Track down Abel and his partner and find out what the hell happened. If O'Neill is dead I want to see his body – if he's not, I want him recaptured. I need that information. It's in his brain somewhere, even if he doesn't know it himself." He turned and looked at the man in the suit. "Find him or both of our lives are on the line."

* * *

><p>Nurse Alvarez got to work after a nice long weekend. She and her husband and two boys had spent the weekend in the mountains and it had been just what they needed. They're lives were busy – her husband worked for the Postal Service, and her two sons were getting to the age when they usually preferred to spend time with friends rather than with parents. So, spending time together as a family was getting rarer – which is why they had jumped at the chance to get away for a few days.<p>

Her first stop, after checking in, was to go see Charlie. He'd been here a few weeks now and she'd gotten to really enjoy the man. Oh, he still didn't speak – other than his name he hadn't said anything. But, she was pretty sure he was getting better. Physically, he definitely was, although he still had a ways to go. The pneumonia had really taken hold and they'd had a hard time dealing with it and the other infections.

He'd obviously been uncomfortable but he hadn't complained once – at least not when she was there. According to the other nurses he'd been no trouble – simply sleeping or staring off into space. Tina had finally arranged for him to have a TV, and had paid for it herself, so he'd have something other than the walls to look at. Just like with everything else, he'd stared at it blankly.

She had, however, been pleased to catch him once with a small smile on his face. When she'd moved up to see what was on the screen she saw it was the Simpsons – a show both her husband and sons enjoyed (which she thought was rather silly). Still, it had been great to see him with something other than a blank look, or one of terror on his face. Fortunately, that was one she was seeing less and less as time went on. He finally seemed to accept that no one was going to hurt him here.

There was just something about Charlie – she couldn't explain it. She cared for lots of her patients, but this man in particular made her want to help, as much as she could. There was something about him that engendered trust – and made her sure that deep down there was a very caring, good person. She figured that, as he got even better, this would begin to emerge.

She walked into his room with a small plant she'd brought from home. He didn't have any visitors and nothing to show anyone cared. She thought he might enjoy a touch of green in his room.

What the -? She looked around but there was no Charlie. His bed was stripped completely and it was obvious he was gone. Where would they have taken him? She turned to the other man in the room – a 96 year old with Alzheimer's.

"Do you know where they took Charlie?" she asked, not expecting him to answer. She was right – he just grinned and started to talk about something totally unrelated. He probably didn't even remember his roommate.

She rushed to the nurse's station, where her friend Farah was working. "Where's Charlie?" At Farah's blank look she explained. "You know, the man in room 365?"

"Oh him. You mean the homeless guy? He was discharged on Saturday."

"Discharged! Why the hell was he discharged? He wasn't ready to leave. He still had pneumonia and he couldn't even speak."

"I don't know. Dr. Woodward said there wasn't anything more we could do and it was costing the taxpayers too much money to keep someone like him."

Tina was enraged. She wanted to hit someone – no, she wanted to hit Dr. Woodward – the supreme ass. She was not going to let this go.

"Do you know if they just let him go or did they take him somewhere?" At the least maybe they'd delivered him to a mental hospital. He certainly wasn't capable of being by himself.

"Uh, I think they planned to drop him off at one of the missions in Skid Row."

"That bastard!" she said. Farah looked at her in shock – she wasn't used to hearing this kind of language from her friend. "Do you still have his chart?" she asked.

"I think so", she turned and looked through her files. "It was going to be sent to Records today but they haven't been by to pick anything up. What do you need it for", she suddenly asked, suspicious.

"I'm going to take it to Theresa. She needs to see this."

She knocked firmly on her supervisor's door and entered when a voice called to 'come in'. She knew, from Theresa's face, that she knew why Tina was here.

"Tina, before you get started, there was nothing I could do. Dr. Woodward had charge of this case and it was his decision."

"Even when it was unethical and unprofessional?" she asked fiercly.

"That's your opinion – one not shared by the doctor", she was reprimanded.

"No, that's one that's born out by his tests." She threw the folder down on the desk. "His test results clearly show he wasn't well enough to be discharged. The only reason Woodward did it is because he doesn't like homeless people and thinks they're no more than a drain on taxpayers. I'm pretty sure he would have preferred to have just euthanized the man."

"Tina! That was uncalled for!"

"Was it? Was it really? Can you honestly say that Woodward took any kind of decent care of the man? He barely visited him and as far as I can see didn't even look at his test results. I want this investigated and I want Woodward disciplined."

"You know I can't do that. It's going to be a nurse's word against the patient's doctor. They'll just say you were too attached and weren't being professional."

"And what about the tests?"

"Woodward will just say they're open to interpretation. He'll get other professionals to agree with him and all this will do will be to hurt your career. I'm warning you to just let it go. The man is probably back where he belongs anyway."

"You too Theresa?", she said softly. "I always thought you did this because you cared – because human life was important to you – but now I see that you're as bad as the rest. Because a man came in with rags on and no home or family, you completely discount him."

When her supervisor didn't answer, Tina walked over and picked up the file and then turned towards the door. Just before leaving she turned back. "For the first time since I've been here, I'm ashamed of this hospital, of the medical staff, and especially of you. I thought you were a better person."

She walked slowly back to her floor, figuring she'd just screwed her job at the hospital. Her husband was going to be upset – they'd just gotten to a point where things were looking up for the family – and now she could lose her job.

She straightened her spine and took a deep breath – she knew Rob – he was a man of honor and he'd support her in this! First, she had to see if she could find Charlie. He would die on the streets – of that she was sure.

* * *

><p>They made him get dressed and then told him to sit in a chair. They then wheeled him out of the hospital. He didn't know what was happening, and kept looking for Tina. He'd learned her name through the other nurses and liked it better than 'Nurse Alvarez'. Of course, he never called her that – didn't call her anything – but that's the way he thought of her in his mind.<p>

She had been his connection to reality – to a world that wasn't full of pain and terror. Whenever he saw her he could feel himself begin to heal, just a teeny bit. He knew he had a long way to go – his mind was still confused – but he was getting glimpses that maybe this wasn't who he was. He remembered, in brief flashes, that he had another life, a better life. He just had to find it.

That's why he was so terrified when they drove him away from the hospital. He wondered if the men were back – were they taking him back to that room? He could hear himself whimper but then stopped himself – no – Air Force officers don't whimper.

That stopped him. Where did that thought come from? Who was he? Air Force? He didn't remember anything about that – the words had simply popped into his head. With a frustrated groan he held his head in his hands and watched as the streets went by.

"Here you go", the man driving had stopped and opened his door. "Out you go old man. The people at the mission can help you." When 'Charlie' didn't move the man sighed and stepped into the van. "Come on, you gotta get out. I have other work to do." He pulled the still thin man up and forced him out of the car. He felt a brief moment of sympathy as the guy got a look of terror on his face but then shrugged – life was hard.

He stood on the street, terrified, not knowing what to do. He looked around to see dozens of people on the street. Many of them were lying on the ground, on top of cardboard boxes or wrapped in rags. Some wandered up and down the streets – many carrying bags and a few pulling shopping carts full of unknown mounds of stuff.

He looked wildly around, trying to figure out where to go, what to do. He coughed, a deep, painful cough that sent shivers of pain running through him. He was weak and sick and scared and didn't know where to turn.

"Can I help you Sir?" a kind voice asked. The Sir sounded so familiar that he immediately turned and stood straighter.

"Yes Airman?", he replied. The slight young man in front of him raised his eyebrows, but then smiled.

"Hi, I'm Joe. You look a little lost. Can I help you?"

He didn't know what to say. That small moment of familiarity had passed and he was again confused and unsure. When he didn't answer, but continued to stare, the young man sighed.

"Hey, would you like something to eat? The mission serves sandwiches if you're hungry."

Finally, after a few minutes, he nodded. Yes, he was hungry – but more than that he didn't want to lose this young man, who seemed to offer some kindness. He followed – Joe – into the building. It was dark and old and musty – and he could smell a combination of unwashed bodies and the remains of food.

Joe told him to sit at one of the long wood tables and quickly disappeared. He started to panic, after a few minutes, but then he saw the young man return, holding a tray with a sandwich, apple and drink.

He waited until the food was placed before him and looked at it suspiciously. What if it was drugged? What if they were still wanting to get information from him? He knew they had drugged him before – sometimes forcing a needle into his arm – other times lacing his food with stuff that made him hallucinate and cry out.

"I know it's not the best", a distant voice said, "but it's better than nothing. I promise you it won't hurt you."

For some reason he believed Joe. He was pretty sure he was one of the good guys – although you had to be careful of that too. They could pretend to be good and the next moment begin to torture you.

He picked up the sandwich and took a small bite, all the while watching the other man. There was no look of relief, or triumph – the man simply looked calm and happy. He continued to eat until the sandwich was half finished. He couldn't manage the rest.

He took a sip of the juice and the cold liquid made him start to cough. It was a violent episode, and the other man looked a little worried. After a few seconds he was able to get it under control, although his chest hurt like the devil. It reminded him of the time he'd had those broken ribs in Antarctica – the ones that had punctured his lung. To this day he was glad Sam -. He looked up, startled. These strange thoughts were beginning to come more frequently, but they confused and frightened him. He no longer knew what was real and what was a dream.

"I think we'd better take you to the clinic and have you checked out", Joe said. He was worried the man might have TB – which could not only be deadly, but was highly contagious, especially on the streets where so many were in poor health.

"No", the other man said softly. "Just a cold."

Joe was not to know that this was the most the man had said in weeks. As his mind began to heal his ability to communicate was getting better.

"Okay, if you're sure."

"Yeah."

"What's your name?' Joe asked. He could sense he was getting through to the older man. For a while there he'd wondered if he was all there. He figured he was either an addict or an alcoholic – or both – or that he suffered from schizophrenia. Whatever was wrong, however, he clearly needed help.

"Cha -" He started to answer but suddenly the name felt wrong. He knew it was important to him somehow, but was pretty sure it wasn't his name. He searched his spotty mind – with more holes in it than actual memories. A few names popped in and out but none seemed to settle. He thought back to his previous flash of memory. "Sam", he answered.

"Sam, hi. It's great to meet you." Joe stuck his hand out. After a couple of seconds 'Sam' put his hand out and shook the other man's. "Do you have a place to stay?" he asked.

"No", he answered softly. Just then a picture of a brown house, surrounded by trees appeared in his head. It was warm and safe – and he thought was home. The sudden yearning caught him by surprise.

"Well, there are a few shelters around here. Unfortunately you have to start lining up by about 4:00 o'clock if you want a bed. There are always more people than places to stay."

Great, just what he needed – to stand in a line for hours to get a bed in a place that probably reeked and was full of bed bugs!

"If you go to the mission, they'll make you swear that you're sober, so don't have something to drink before you go or you won't get a bed. And if you're new here – watch out for the gangs. They like to beat people just for the hell of it and if you have anything of value – they'll steal it in a heartbeat."

"Sounds as bad as Netu", he said quietly, the words coming slowly and hesitatingly.

"Netu? I don't think I've heard of that place."

"It's a planet – no – a moon. Sokor controls it. He's bad – really bad."

"I – see", Joe realized that he was speaking to man who was mentally ill. A lot of the schizophrenics on the street thought they were from other planets or were the manifestation of Jesus, or Mohammed, or Buddah or someone. He shook his head slowly, feeling sorry for the man seated across from him. He obviously needed to be on some kind of medication and getting help not available on the streets.

'Sam' frowned – something about that wasn't right. "No – Sokor's dead. We blew him up. Had to save Jacob and we did it."

"That's good – I'm real happy for you. Glad you saved Jacob."

"Yeah – he's –" he frowned again. Jacob was _somebody's_ father – somebody important. That's why he'd insisted he help bring him back. He couldn't disappoint _her_. Who that was he didn't know – but he knew she was important.

"Do you have any family Sam?" the other man asked.

Family? Did he have family? A sudden pain shot through him – Charlie. Oh God. He clutched his stomach and bent over in pain. He remembered the shot, the blood, the despair. He couldn't breathe.

"It's okay, it's okay", a soft voice, a gentle hand on his back. "It's okay Sam, you're here, you're safe."

"No, no, no", he repeated, rocking back and forth. "He's dead, he's dead."

"Who Sam?" Joe asked carefully. He'd obviously touched on something serious

"My son, my son. He's dead."

Joe closed his eyes, feeling an intense sadness. He'd heard horrible stories, working on the streets – tragic, sad, unjust – all stories of people who had been hurt so desperately they didn't know where to turn – so they turned to the streets. The stories of loss – often horrific – were sometimes more than he could bear to listen to. The loss of family, of children, of spouses – the loss of jobs or possessions – it was all common – but never meaningless.

A lot of the people here – most of them in fact – had come from normal, reasonably stable lives. And then, tragedy had struck. For those without a lot of support – or those in poverty – or those with mental illness – there was little or no resilience, no ability to pick themselves up and go on. Instead, they often turned to something to numb the pain – to help them deal with how horrible their lives had become. For some, it was alcohol, for others drugs and soon all they had was a precarious, and often short, life on the streets.

He knew that for almost all of these people, all they needed was a home – someplace safe and warm – that was theirs. Then, they needed compassion and support – and the freedom to choose their own paths and move forward in dignity. He'd seen many people picked up from lives off the streets who were now doing well. It was not impossible – in fact, it was easier than most thought. They just needed the opportunity and the support of a society who cared, that didn't think of these people as hopeless or worthless.

He looked again at the man across from him and prayed that he'd get the help he needed. Sadly, he didn't think it was going to happen.


	4. BJ

The three of them sat despondently, not speaking and not even looking at each other. It had been almost 8 weeks and they still hadn't heard a thing. They all had to go back to work on Monday and they were dreading it. Until they either found Jack – or at least found out what had happened to him – each of them knew that they it would be almost impossible to go back.

"I don't know what else to do", Daniel said angrily. "No one knows anything. It's like he just vanished off the face of the earth."

"We know Daniel", Sam said wearily. She was tired of Daniel repeating the same things over and over. She knew it was his way of dealing with his stress and anger, but it wasn't helping. She pushed herself up from her chair to go and get a drink. She couldn't sit here and listen anymore.

"It does no good to continue to repeat the same things over and over Daniel Jackson", Teal'c said quietly. He too was finding Daniel hard to take even though his tolerance level was much higher than Carter's.

"I know Teal'c – I just – I'm so frustrated. I feel like we've failed Jack. If he were here he would have figured out something by now."

"That may be true. O'Neill was highly trained in such things – but he is not here and we must keep looking."

The fact was, they _were_ continuing to do whatever they could. Walter had managed to pull up the files of all missing persons across the US. He'd recruited a volunteer force – of practically every person on base to help go through the files. They were taking turns – on their off time of course – going through all the files and pictures. So far they hadn't found anything.

The next day Sam had to run to the grocery store to pick up a few things. She knew she hadn't been eating properly since the Colonel had disappeared. If he were here he'd be telling her off for not looking after herself. God – how she wished he were here!

"Just keep shopping Major", a voice spoke beside her. She glanced to the side and saw a man's hand picking out apples. "Buy your groceries and take them to your car. I'll talk to you there."

She finished shopping and paid for everything, her heart beating wildly the whole time. She'd recognized that voice and, for the first time in weeks felt some hope.

She loaded her groceries in the trunk and then got in her small car. "Just drive Major", the voice said from the back seat. She pulled out of the parking lot and drove carefully until she reached a small park. She pulled into the lot and turned off the engine.

"Okay Maybourne, we're here. Now what can you tell me."

"Nice to see you too Major Carter."

"Cut the crap Harry. You know why we've been looking for you. Tell me what you've found out."

There was a deep sigh and then Harry opened the back door and moved himself into the front. He sat for a moment, an uncharacteristically serious expression on his face. Sam felt herself grow more frightened. "Harry?"

"I don't know if he's still alive or not – if it was anyone else but O'Neill I'd doubt it. He was kidnapped by a group working for Samuels. The man who arranged the kidnapping is Ernst Abel – a professional interrogator used by the NID in the past."

"Why did they take him?" she asked quietly. She had to use all her willpower to keep from breaking down.

"Samuels wants to get at the Ancient knowledge", he said.

"But that's all gone. The Asgard removed it years ago."

"Samuels believes there has to be at least some of the knowledge still there and that Jack has been hiding it. He wants it badly."

"So – this man Abel – he was hired to -?"

"To take Jack and interrogate him till he got the information."

"And by interrogation I guess you don't mean he simply asked the Colonel some questions?"

"No, I'm afraid not."

"So, _do_ you think he could still be alive?"

"If he is, he's in bad shape", answered Maybourne honestly.

"Do you have any idea where they took him?"

"No, I wasn't able to find out. Samuels and his men haven't done anything unusual for weeks. If they still have Jack they're staying away so as not to lead anyone to him."

"So, we know Samuels had him taken but can't prove it and can't find him. That's not much help Harry."

"Look, I want to find Jack as much as you do", he answered. When he saw Carter's skeptical look he turned and faced her. "I know you don't like or trust me Major, but I owe Jack a lot. Even though we haven't always seen eye to eye, I respect him. Samuels, on the other hand, is a louse bearing scumbag – and I want to bring him down."

"Me too, but how are we going to do that?"

"I _was_ able to find out that Abel has a partner. His name is Laurence Gerard – although he goes by the name Gerry."

"So how does this help us?"

"Gerry was seen in Vegas, just yesterday. It seems like he was flashing around a lot of money – spending it on gambling and women."

"Do you know where in Vegas he is?"

"Yes", he pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Carter. "I want to know when you find him. I'm going to keep looking for evidence to connect Samuels to this whole thing." He opened the door of the car and stepped out. He then leaned back in. "Bring him home Major."

As Sam drove home she pulled her cell phone out of her purse and called Daniel. "Daniel, pack quickly. We're on our way to Vegas. I'll explain later." After that she called the General and told him they had a lead and that she needed a flight to Nellis as quickly as possible.

In less than an hour Carter, Teal'c and Daniel were on their way to Vegas. This time Daniel was quiet – too worried, too hopeful, to have anything to say.

They arrived quickly in Vegas and made their way directly to the hotel where Gerard was staying. It was still light out so they hoped he hadn't started gambling yet.

"Nice place", Daniel said as the taxi dropped them off.

"Maybourne said he had money", she answered briefly. They took the elevator up to the floor where he was supposedly staying.

"Be careful. He's probably armed."

"You knock on his door Sam. He'll be less suspicious if it's a woman. Pretend you're with room service."

She looked at Daniel in disgust but nodded, knowing he was probably right.

She approached the door and knocked. "Room service", she called. When there was no answer she tried again but still no one came. "He must be out", she told the guys. Taking a thin wallet out of her pocket she pulled out a small tool and proceeded to unlock the door.

"Oh my God!" Sam stopped suddenly. Daniel and Teal'c pressed in behind her but couldn't see into the room until she stepped aside.

Daniel was sure he was going to throw up. He'd seen a lot in his years with the SGC – a lot of horror and inhumanity – but he'd always taken comfort in the fact that the ones perpetuating it were aliens. This – this was done by humans. It was obvious that Gerard had been tortured before he'd died.

Teal'c took both his friends' arms and pulled them back into the hall. He then took a cloth and carefully wiped the door knob. "Let us go, quickly."

The three teammates left the hotel, carefully – trying not to look suspicious. They moved to a smaller hotel, off the main strip, and checked in. It was only then that they were able to speak.

"What are we going to do?" Daniel asked. "Why would they have tortured him?"

"I don't know Daniel. It was either to get information or because he'd done something they didn't like. It could be that someone else is trying to find out where the Colonel is. But now - I don't know what we can do. We don't have any more leads." She was sitting, looking out the window at the lights of Vegas. She felt a wave of despair wash over her. Maybe this was it. Maybe this was the end.

It was a short time later when her phone rang. She almost wished she could ignore it. Closing her eyes she lifted it to her ear. "Carter."

"What is wrong Major Carter?" Teal'c asked as she turned off the phone. She was looking stunned.

"That was Walter. One of the nurses identified one of the pictures. It was of a man in a hospital in Los Angeles. She thinks it might be Colonel O'Neill."

"But she's not sure?" Daniel asked.

"No – said he the man was extremely thin and ill looking but that she thought it was him."

"Where did the picture come from?" he asked.

"Someone at the hospital took it and send it to the police. I guess a man came in with no identification and no last name – only a first name so they contacted the police who put his picture on file."

"What first name did he give?" asked Teal'c.

"Charlie."

* * *

><p>The man calling himself 'Sam' found that it was almost easier to sleep on the streets than to get a bed in one of the shelters. They were crowded and the lines were long. He'd watched many fights as men had tried to move up in the line so they could get a bed. A couple of times he'd been forced to move when someone had demanded his spot in line. He'd briefly thought of putting up a fight, but he still felt too weak, too disoriented to bother.<p>

His cold was getting worse and he found it increasingly difficult to rest or sleep. He was kept awake at night by terrible coughing and tremors. He didn't know what was wrong – but he figured it wasn't good.

He did manage to get something to eat each day – usually from one of the missions. The only thing he'd have to do each day to get fed was listen to people telling him to repent and worship the Lord. He didn't quite know what things he had to repent for since he couldn't remember anything, but again, he didn't have the energy to worry about it. He would agree, say he repented, and then eat. He hoped God would understand.

He was sitting down at the table in the mission, eating the stew he'd been given, when he felt someone sit next to him. He glanced up and saw it was BJ – one of the only friends he'd made since he'd arrived in Skid Row. The other person was Joe – although he hadn't seen him in a few days.

"How ya doin' General", the big black man asked. For some reason he'd taken a liking to BJ – he reminded him of someone he knew – someone he trusted – although he couldn't remember who that was. He occasionally got a picture of some kind of gold tattoo – but couldn't figure out what it meant.

BJ had started to call him General after he told him about a dream he'd had.

"I remember I was wearing some kind of uniform", he said as they were sitting in the alley in the middle of the night. It was too cold to sleep so they were trying to keep warm in front of a small fire. "I was with some other people and we – we jumped into this pool of water." He stopped and frowned – he could see the pool but was confused because it seemed like it was standing up, but everyone knew water couldn't stay like that.

"So, maybe you were in the Navy?" BJ had commented as he drank from the bottle he was carrying.

"No, Air Force", he answered without thinking. He then turned to the other man in shock. "I – I guess maybe I was with the Air Force."

"So you're a veteran? Lot's of guys likeyou around here. Patch over there was a Marine. Bootsy and Flags were both in the Army. I don't know any of the guys here that were in the Air Force, but there probably are some."

He sat there for a while, trying to remember anything else, but nothing came. That pool of water seemed to be important somehow. He just wished he could remember why.

"So, were you enlisted or what?"

"Huh?"

"What rank were you?"

"I – I don't know."

"Maybe you were a Private?"

"No – not in the Air Force – they have Airmen."

"Really? I didn't know that. So were you an Airman?"

"Maybe – I – it sounds familiar but I think – I think I was an officer."

"An officer? No shit? Wow, I don't think I even knew an officer before." He stood up and gave a sloppy salute. "Airman BJ reporting for duty SIR!" he said, and then flopped down and took another drink. "So, I bet you were a General. You look like you coulda been a General."

He'd gotten a small grin on his face at that but before he could reply he'd had another coughing fit. BJ had stayed with him, patting him on the back. Eventually he'd fallen back into a restless sleep although the pain in his chest made it hard to really relax.

So, from that day on BJ had called him General. He hadn't minded. In fact, he kind of liked it. For some reason it made him feel – at home. And the fact was, BJ gave him some companionship and made him feel safer. Being alone on the streets wasn't good. It was too easy to be a victim and BJ was big and scary looking although he figured the man probably couldn't hurt a flea!

He coughed again, and noticed that this time there was blood in his hand. That same memory came back to haunt him. He was cold, so cold and they couldn't find the DHD. He was sure he was going to die here – but he didn't want Sam to die. She was too young. She was just starting her life. "Plan B Captain, Plan B."

"Plan B? What the hell is plan B General?" It took him a second to realize where he was and that it was BJ speaking to him.

"Plan B? Uh – just thinking about dinner." He replied. He knew he probably sounded two fries short of a happy meal, but then everyone around here figured he was crazy anyway. He had all these visions – and sometimes he talked about traveling to other worlds. Often he didn't know he had until he'd gotten strange looks – or sarcastic comments. Still, he didn't want to come across _too_ crazy or they'd carry him away in a straight jacket – just like they had with Daniel.

"Sound good. Let's go." BJ stood up and waited for the General. He worried about him – he looked like hell and seemed to be getting worse every day. He wasn't well himself – he had been living on the streets for years and knew he was not much more than a drunk – but there was something about the other man he'd liked from the first time he met him and he would hate to see him die. Too many on the streets died to soon. It was a rough life, and aged a man – or woman – years before their time.

He reached down and helped 'Sam' up. The man had a hard time even standing. "Maybe you should go to the clinic General", he said. "I think you need some medicine."

"I'm okay", he coughed. "it's just a cold." He knew it was more than that, but really didn't want to go back to the hospital. "Let's go. They'll be out of the good food if we wait too long."

"Ya gonna try for a bed tonight?" BJ asked. He really worried that more nights on the street would be the death of his new found friend.

"Maybe."

The two men walked to the mission for supper. A line had already formed outside the building as those who lived on the streets went to get something to eat - to sustain them through another night of rough living. Jack stood in line behind Rafaelo – another one of the people he'd met while living in Skid Row.

"Hiya Sam", Rafaelo turned around and saluted. Everyone seemed to know that Sam had been military. Word quickly traveled among the people in Skid Row. "Come to see what the church ladies have for us tonight."

"Yeah", he coughed again. "Hopefully it's not tuna casserole! I'm pretty sure the devil has something to do with tuna casserole!"

"What's wrong Spaceman – you gotta thing against tuna?"

Crap, just what he needed. Paco was a bully who spent his days trying to steal anything he could get from the people in Skid Row. He wondered why the man bothered – surely there wasn't much to steal down here! The worst thing, however, was the fact that he had brought together a few others and they'd formed their own little gang. They terrorized the locals – and had lately started to pick on him. Somehow, he didn't think that was unusual. He had this suspicion that he really got on the nerve of bullies!

"No", he replied shortly. He really didn't want to get into a fight right now. He felt too weak and sick.

"No what, Spaceman?" Paco laughed and looked at his followers. "Spaceman here thinks he's travelled to other planets. He's met aliens!" He walked right up to Sam. "Hey Spaceman, what do the aliens look like? Are they green with two heads? Do they eat people or turn them into zombies?"

'Sam' stood there, trying to ignore the vicious bully. Others had moved away from him, not wanting to get caught in the crossfire. He saw a couple of Paco's posse move up and he grimaced. This could get ugly real quick.

"Why don't you leave him alone Paco?", BJ spoke up at his elbow. He looked at his friend and smiled his thanks. Not many would stand up to Paco.

"What, you got your own babysitter there Spaceman? Can't look after yourself? Does he have to change your diapers for you?"

"Just ignore him General", BJ whispered.

"I'm trying, but he's very irritating."

"I'm irritating? Why that's not very nice Spaceman. You should watch what you say."

"Any you should be careful or your brains might just go to your head!"

"Why you - "

The next thing BJ knew, Paco was lying on the ground, groaning in pain. It had happened so fast he wasn't quite sure what he'd seen. Paco had tried to hit the General but his fist hadn't connected – instead, the General had moved quickly and flipped the other man over his hip and on to the ground.

The problem was, the move had exhausted his friend and he was bent over coughing uncontrollably. He didn't seem to be able to catch his breath and the wheezing was horrible.

While he was trying to stop the attack, Paco's friends had taken advantage and had moved in on the coughing man. One of them grabbed his arms and held them behind his back as the others began to pound on him. BJ tried to step forward but someone grabbed him from behind as well. Whoever it was was strong – he couldn't help his friend.

BJ watched in despair as they beat Sam to a pulp – finally leaving him, bleeding and unconscious. BJ bent over his friend. "Oh General – what are we gonna do!"


	5. Sam

_**Hi all! Thank you for the great reviews everyone! I'll get back to you all shortly. I don't know if I'll be able to update everyday so I did an extra chapter tonight. I hope you all enjoy!**_

They arrived at the hospital mid morning the next day. They were all exhausted from lack of sleep but they knew time was of the essence. Gerard's death pointed to something bad.

"We'd like to speak to someone about a missing person", Daniel spoke to the Administrator. They'd called the General and he'd arranged for them to get in immediately to see the man.

"A missing person? I don't know how we can help. We're a hospital."

"A report was filed with the police about a man who was dropped off here. We think it might be our Commanding Officer. He disappeared two months ago."

"All right, let me check." The man – Brian Withers – called in his secretary and explained the situation. He offered them a cup of coffee while they waited – something they all accepted gladly.

A few minutes later the secretary entered with a slim file. "A man was admitted about three weeks ago. He was brought into the Emergency department by the cops. He didn't give a name – at least not a last name so Nurse Alvarez filed a report." She handed over the file.

The Administrator looked at it for a couple of minutes, lifting his eyebrows as he read the report. Sam wondered what that was about but was too anxious to really care.

"Is this your friend?" Brian handed over a small, fuzzy picture.

Sam took the picture and looked at it. The man in the picture was pale and thin – and his eyes looked unfocused. He was sitting in a bed, wearing a blue hospital gown - but she was sure it was Jack. Without a word she handed to Daniel, who looked at it and in turn handed it to Teal'c. After the friends had all looked a silent message passed between them.

Sam turned to the man. "Yes, we think that's our friend. Is he here?"

"No, I'm sorry. He was discharged over a week ago according to the charts. I'm afraid I don't have any information as to where he's gone."

"Is there anyone here who might know? What about his doctor?"

Brian looked down at the chart again – and again frowned. "His doctor was a Resident by the name of Dr. Woodward. I can see if he's available to speak with you."

"That would be great, thank you."

The three were taken to a small waiting room on the fourth floor where Dr. Woodward was doing his rounds. They were told he'd be in to see them as soon as he was finished.

"There's a cafeteria downstairs on the first floor if you want anything", the nurse told them with a smile. She turned to leave when Sam stopped her.

"You wouldn't happen to have remembered this man would you?" she showed Jack's picture to the nurse.

"Oh yes, that's Charlie."

"That's right. Did he say anything to you – about where he might go once he left here."

"Charlie?", she laughed. "He didn't say anything at all. We all thought he was an escapee from the mental hospital – all of us except Tina of course. For some reason she liked the guy." The nurse seemed to suddenly realize that she might have been indiscreet. "Oh, I'm sorry – was he your friend?"

"He _is _our friend. He's a Colonel in the US Air Force and he was kidnapped a couple of months ago. We've been trying to find him."

"Oh God, I'm so sorry. You should talk to Tina – if anyone would know where he is, it's her."

"Is she here?" Daniel asked.

"No, she was given a two week suspension", the nurse answered, looking down. "She told Dr. Woodward – well, she called him an ass in the doctor's lounge. She won't be back for another week or so."

"Thank you nurse", Sam said softly. Daniel looked at her sharply but she ignored him.

"Sam, why didn't you ask for her address?"

"Because she wasn't going to give it to me. We'll have to ask Mr. Withers."

Just then Dr. Woodward came in and shook everyone's hand. "What can I do for you folks?" he asked with a smile. He'd gotten a call that three _very_ important people were here to talk to him. From what was said, these were personal friends of the President.

"We're wondering about this man", Sam showed the picture to Woodward. "We understand he was your patient."

Crap, he thought. Wouldn't you know it was the drunk, he thought, completely ignoring – or forgetting – the fact that the man had shown no evidence of having had anything to drink. "Uh, yes he was. We assumed he was a homeless man."

"No, he's Colonel Jack O'Neill of the US Air Force. He was kidnapped over two months ago and this is the first lead we've had. We were wondering if you could tell us anything. Did he talk to you at all? We're trying to figure out where he could be."

"I'm afraid not. He couldn't speak." This was the second time they'd heard this and they glanced at each other – very worried.

"How had he been injured?" asked Teal'c.

"Uh – he was suffering from pneumonia and malnutrition. He had some bruises and things, but nothing else really", he said, this time intentionally 'forgetting' all of the other things that had been wrong with the man.

"So the fact that he couldn't talk -?"

"Most likely trauma. If we'd have known he'd been kidnapped we would have treated him differently. We just thought he was homeless."

"So what, you don't treat the homeless the same way?" Daniel asked, his hackles rising.

"Oh no, no, nothing like that. It's just that the homeless present with all sorts of mental illness and related things. We don't see it as anything out of the ordinary I'm afraid."

"So", Sam said. For some reason this guy was giving her the creeps. "You discharged him. I'm assuming that means that he was better. Do you have any idea where he would have gone?"

The doctor knew exactly where the man had been taken, but decided not to say anything. He didn't want to get into trouble and in this case he figured ignorance was safer.

"I'm sorry, I don't know. If there's anything else you need", he continued as he moved towards the door, "please let me know."

They thanked him but watched in surprise as he hurried from the room. They then returned to the Administrator's office, to ask about Nurse Alvarez.

What they didn't know was that Brian Withers had spent his life as an internist and – when he'd seen the test results, and the fact that Colonel O'Neill had been discharged when he was still sick – he decided someone's head was going to roll. He was pretty sure who that head would belong to.

"Call Dr. Woodward down", he said, "oh, and ask Theresa Cain to come as well." He sat at his desk, thinking about two of his staff – and how they'd screwed up. It was about to hit the fan.

Tina Alvarez sat looking at her garden. It was in better shape than it had been in years. Being off had given her time to get a few things done around the house. Doing the gardening had also given her enough work so that she wouldn't dwell on the unfairness of it all. She sighed and grabbed that weed and pulled. As it released she fell back and sat, covered in dirt, and mad as hell.

She'd gone down to Skid Row to see if she could find Charlie but, after a few hours wandering around, realized it was probably hopeless. No one would answer her questions and she'd been frightened a few times by the some of the men who had harassed her. She'd finally been told, by the police, that she should leave as it wasn't safe for her to be on the streets alone. Still, she was determined to head back with Rob when he was off work for the weekend.

She felt terrible when she thought of her husband. He'd been pulling double shifts all week to try to make up for her lost salary. Inside she seethed when thinking about Woodward – and about Theresa. She wondered if she could go back to work with either of them.

"Damn", she muttered when the doorbell rang. Looking down at herself she realized she was sweaty and dirty. "Oh well, they can take me or leave me", she said as she made her way to the front door. She wondered who in heck it could be.

"Can I help you?" she asked the three people at her door. She couldn't figure out who they could be.

"We hope so", answered the woman. "My name is Samantha Carter – Major Samantha Carter. This is Dr. Daniel Jackson and this man is Murray. We're all with the Air Force and we're looking for a colleague – a friend – of ours. I'm wondering if I could ask you to look at a picture and tell us if you recognize this man?"

"Of course", she answered mildly, taking the photo. "That's Charlie!", she cried as she instantly recognized the picture she had taken in the hospital. "And you say he's your friend? Oh God", she cried, "I knew he had to have someone."

"Yes, he's our friend – a very good friend. In fact, he's our Commanding Officer." Sam spoke softly in reply. "We just found out that he'd been in the hospital and that you helped him and took care of him. We're wondering if you know where he could be."

"They dropped him off in Skid Row", she replied bitterly. "He couldn't speak – something had happened to him and he was severely traumatized and sick. He told me his name was Charlie – that's all he said the whole time he was there. Everyone thought he was a homeless man – especially that fool Dr. Woodward. Because of that they didn't care about him. When I was off for a few days Woodward discharged him and had him dropped off down town."

"Skid Row? You mean where all the street people live?"

"Yes – there are shelters and missions there. There's also thousands of homeless people in that area. I went to try and find him but it's like looking for a needle in a haystack. Besides that, they protect their own down there. I couldn't get any information from anyone."

"Damn", Daniel said. "But at least he was okay, right – I mean physically? He should be okay there for a few days."

"No, he was still sick, that's why I'm so worried. He had a very bad case of pneumonia besides being malnourished. He'd clearly been beaten and starved and was pretty weak. I tried to tell Dr. Woodward but he couldn't have cared less. He thinks we shouldn't even treat the homeless, that it's a waste of money."

"The ass!" Daniel said.

"Yes – that's what I called him. That's why I'm on two week's suspension."

"You're kidding!", Sam cried. "What's wrong with them?"

"They're more interested in their budget than in people." Tina looked at the angry threesome in front of her and felt terribly relieved that someone else was here who cared for Charlie. They could help search for him and find him the care he needed. Just then she thought of something and, with a small frown, asked, "Is his name really Charlie?"

"No", Sam answered softly. "his name is Jack – Jack O'Neill. He's a Colonel in the Air Force. He was kidnapped two months ago and we've been looking for him."

"Oh – so Charlie -?"

"Was the name of his son. He was killed a few years ago."

"Poor man!" Tina looked at the three in front of her. "Are you going to Skid Row to find him?"

"Yes, right now." Daniel answered.

"May I come with you?" Tina asked. "I want to make sure he's okay. I – grew to like Ch – Jack – right from the beginning. There was just something about him, you know?"

"Yeah, we know", whispered Sam. "Please, you're welcome to come but we'd like to go right away."

Tina looked at her dirty gardening clothes and then grinned. "I'll fit right in."

Sam grinned in return. "Okay, let's go."

It took them almost an hour to get there with the afternoon traffic in LA. When they arrived they parked their rental car in a fenced parking lot with an attendant. They then got out and walked to the street.

Sam had never seen anything quite like it. There were dozens – hundreds – of people lined up on the streets, all of them poor. It was overwhelming – where would they even start?

"Let's go to some of the missions", Daniel said. Of all of them he looked the least shocked. "They often serve meals there. If Jack is still around here he would have had to eat somewhere."

Sam looked at him curiously, wondering why he seemed so comfortable down here.

"I sometimes volunteer at some of the places in Colorado Springs where there are homeless people", he said in answer to her look. "I've gotten to know quite a few of the people who live and work on the streets."

"That is commendable, Daniel Jackson", Teal'c replied. "When we return I would be honored if you would allow me to accompany you."

"Sure Teal'c", Daniel said, looking slightly surprised. It would be good to have Teal'c however. He'd feel much safer!

"Okay, let's make our way to the missions."

The four of them spent the rest of the day going from shelter to shelter, mission to mission, looking for the Colonel. They showed his picture dozens of times but rarely got more than a shrug. Sometimes people would start to speak with them, but it was usually either nonsense – or a request for money.

It was late in the evening, and starting to get dark. They knew they'd have to leave shortly. It was just too dangerous on the streets after dark. Sam knew that the three of them could probably deal with anything that came up, but they didn't want to put Tina in that kind of a position.

Sam had gotten to really like the little nurse. She reminded her a lot of Janet. She was tough, but full of compassion. She spent some of the day telling Sam about Jack's time in hospital.

"The only time I saw him smile was when I saw him watching the Simpsons", Tina had told her.

Sam's eyes had instantly filled with tears – that was so like the Colonel! God – what had happened to him, wondered Sam. He must have been hurt so badly. She just prayed they could bring him back – both physically and mentally.

"Sam, don't turn around too fast but there's a man over there that looks familiar." Daniel gestured carefully across the street. Sam turned her head, casually, and looked.

"Do you recognize him?" Daniel asked.

"God yes – he's one of Samuel's men. What's he doing here?" She asked.

"The same thing we are Major Carter, of that I am sure" Teal'c replied gravely. "I expect that O'Neill somehow escaped and they are looking for him."

"Either that or Gerard let him go. That may be why they", Sam stopped and looked at Tina, "why they did what they did. They wanted him to tell them where the Colonel was."

"He obviously did." Daniel said. "What do we do now? Do you think he's seen us?"

"Maybe. I guess we just keep looking and pray we'll find the Colonel before he does."

"I will keep my eye on him Major", Teal'c said softly.

"Good Teal'c. Hopefully he won't notice us."

"Can I help you people?", someone asked. Sam turned and looked at a young, pleasant looking man.

"I hope so", Daniel said. "We're looking for a friend and we were told that he was dropped off here."

"By here I assume you mean Skid Row?", the young man asked.

"Uh yeah, but we don't have any more information than that. We do have a picture though." He motioned to Sam who pulled the photo from her pocket and showed it to the man.

"Oh", he said, "that's Sam."

"Sam?" Daniel asked, looking over at the Major with a frown.

"Yeah – at least that's the name he gave." He laughed, "I'm not surprised if that's not his real name. People very rarely use their real ones down here – but I do recognize him. He came here just over a week ago and seemed pretty lost. I took him for something to eat and told him where to go to get a bed and everything."

"Do you know where he is now?" Sam asked eagerly.

"Well, look for BJ and you'll probably find him. I hear they've taken up with one another."

"BJ?" Daniel had to smile at Jack's propensity for picking up strays.

"Yeah – his name is actually Brian Johnson. He was a successful jazz musician and then his wife and daughter were killed by a drunk driver. He ended up having a nervous breakdown and took to drinking. He eventually lost everything and he's been on the streets for about 8 years. Anyway, I heard that he took a liking to Sam and so he latched onto your friend. It's a good thing – BJ is a good man and he'll protect Sam."

"Uh, how can we find BJ?" Daniel wanted to know. The others stood quietly, waiting for some indication as to where they should be looking.

"Well, they may be lined up to stay in a shelter, or you could try the alley", the young man pointed. "That's BJ's usual place. I'd suggest coming back tomorrow though – it's getting late and you're not going to find much. It's also not very safe to be here after dark."

"Thank you", Sam reached out and shook the other man's hand. "We appreciate this – and what you did for our friend. His real name's Jack, by the way, and he's a good man."

"I had no doubt of that", he answered with a smile. "My name is Joe. If you ever need anything, just ask for me at the Blessed Heart Mission. They know me and they can get in touch with me."

"So, where to now", Sam asked, after they'd said goodbye to Joe. "Should we check out the shelters?"

"I think we should do the alley first, before it gets too late. After that we can look in the shelters."

"Okay, let's go then."

The four of them – the three friends and their new companion – moved across the street towards the alley where 'BJ' usually slept. They'd gotten a description of the big man and prayed they'd find him – and Jack.

There were a number of people camped out in the alley. Many used cardboard boxes as their 'homes'. Others had small shelters or tents. Few of them acknowledged the people moving through their alley, too exhausted, too hungry and too cold to worry about anyone else.

Sam found herself feeling incredibly saddened by the sight of so many people living on the streets. In a country as wealthy as theirs it was shameful that so many lacked the basic necessity of a home.

"BJ?' a crackled voice spoke. Daniel had approached an old woman who was bending down, feeding a mangy looking cat. "Yeah, he's over there", she pointed to a small cardboard lean to against the side of a building. "Got someone with 'im tonight. Sounds like he's dying. Got into a fight – Paco beat him up." She grinned – a toothless grin. "Yeah, Paco he don't like someone, he'll beat the crap outta you!" She cackled some more and then moved on.

The teammates looked at each other worriedly and then slowly moved towards the lean to. As they approached, they heard an agonized cough, and then a low horrible moan.

"God, I hope that's not Jack", Daniel said.

Sam didn't say anything, she just hurried over to the small shelter.

"Hello", she knocked softly on the cardboard. Suddenly, all movement inside stopped. She knocked again. "Hello, is there anyone here? My name is Samantha Carter, I'm looking for a friend."

There was silence for what seemed like forever, but in actual fact was probably only a few seconds. Then, a head slowly appeared from inside the cardboard room.

"Who you lookin' for?" The voice asked.

"I'm looking for my friend. His name is Jack O'Neill, although I hear he goes by the name of 'Sam'." She hadn't stopped to give that any thought, although she knew that later, when she had some time, she'd agonize over why he gave her name as his own.

"What's your name again?" the man asked.

"Samantha Carter. I go by 'Sam' for short."

The man looking up at her suddenly gave a crack of laughter. "Of course you do darlin' – of course you do! Come on in", he replied. "The General's here." When all of them moved forward BJ looked shocked and then held up his hand. "I meant the woman – only she can come."

So, Sam found herself squeezing into BJ's 'home'. On the ground was a thin, ill looking man. He was tossing and turning – and was clearly burning up with fever. She threw herself down beside him, tears flowing down her cheeks.

They had found him.


	6. Janet

"Oh God!" She reached out and carefully touched his cheek. He was alive – that she could tell from the agonized breathing – but he was burning up. His face was bruised and bloody, and it looked like his hands were torn where he'd tried to fight or defend himself. "Daniel", she shouted, "Call an ambulance. We've found him."

"How is O'Neill?", Teal'c asked from outside the little hut.

"He's in a bad way guys. He needs help quickly."

"I will go with Daniel and we will return shortly. Maybe Nurse Alvarez can assist him."

"Please", Sam looked at BJ, "Can my friend come in? She's a nurse."

BJ considered for a minute but the groan from his friend convinced him. "Yeah okay, but just the woman."

"Thank you. Tina, you can come in."

Tina squeezed into the small enclosure and immediately knelt down beside her former patient. She winced when she saw the shape he was in. She quickly began examining him, although there wasn't much she could do without any medical supplies.

"The General's hurt bad I think", BJ said, looking down at his friend. "Wouldn't let me tell anyone. Said they'd come and get him."

"Who would come and get him?" Sam asked. She'd had to scoot out of the way when Tina had begun to examine the Colonel. She hated waiting and not being able to help.

"The bad guys. He didn't know who they were – just that they would take him to 'the room'. He had lots of nightmares about that room. That and people he called the Golds." BJ grimaced. "He talked a lot about Golds and aliens and going into space. He also told me about his buddy – Thor I think he said his name was."

Sam glanced up at the big man briefly at this, although most of her attention was on Jack. "Space?" she asked in concern.

"Yeah, people around here called him the 'Spaceman' – they all think he's crazy. That's okay down here, though, most of us _are_ crazy. Anyway, I didn't call him that – I called him the General."

"Why?"

"Cause he said he was in the Air Force. He couldn't remember anything about it but I kinda figured he looked like a General. He seemed to like it when I called him that. He also told me he knew his team would find him. When I asked him who they were he got all upset – he couldn't remember and that made him feel real bad."

BJ watched as the nurse looked the General over. He didn't want his friend to die. For the first time, in a long time, he'd met someone who cared about him. Even if the man was crazy, he was a good man. He just hoped they could help him – although he hated the fact that he was going to be taken away. He'd probably never see the General again.

"Where is that damn ambulance", muttered Tina under her breath.

"Don't know if it'll even come here", BJ added. "They don't like to come to Skid Row at night. It's too dangerous."

"What happens if someone is really sick?" asked Tina.

"They either get better or they die", BJ said, without much emotion. "Sometimes it's better if they die. Not much of a life down here."

"No!" Jack began to toss his head and murmur. "No, please don't!" He began to struggle and turn.

"He gets like this sometimes", BJ explained. "He can't ever remember in the morning, at least he says he can't."

Jack continued to toss, so violently that the three of them had to hold him down. At one point his eyes opened and he looked around wildly. His eyes were glazed and he was clearly out of it. He clearly didn't recognize anyone or even where he was.

"Please no", he cried again.

Sam was terribly disturbed to see the Colonel begin to cry. Even with all he'd been through over the years, she'd never seen him break down like this.

"It's the fever", explained Tina. "It's not really him, don't worry."

"Is he going to be okay?" Sam asked.

"I hope so", the nurse answered. "His chest isn't sounding good though. The pneumonia has gotten much worse. I'm gonna kill that doctor!"

A couple of minutes later they could hear a noise outside and then Daniel's face peeked through the boxes. "The ambulance won't come!" He said furiously. "We're going to have to drive him."

"What! What's wrong with everyone?" Sam asked.

"They're scared", answered BJ. "It's dangerous", he told them again.

"Okay, we've got to get him out of here", Tina took control. "See if you can find something to use as a stretcher – a door would be good. We'll carry him to the car and then take him to the hospital ourselves."

It didn't take long before Teal'c had returned with a door. Sam didn't want to ask where it came from. She wouldn't have been at all surprised if she found out that Teal'c had simply removed it from the front of some building.

They quickly moved Jack onto the door and covered him with all of their jackets. Fortunately he'd calmed down by then so they were able to remove him somewhat quietly.

"You and Tina take him to the hospital", Daniel said. "There isn't room for all of us in the car. Teal'c and I will follow."

"Are you sure?" Sam asked, as she watched Teal'c carefully place him on the back seat.

"We are sure Major Carter. We will find our way there as quickly as possible. We shall go and speak with Joe and ask his help."

"Okay guys. We'll see you soon."

It didn't take long to drive to the hospital as the traffic was much lighter at night. They went to Tina's hospital, as it was the closest, although Sam had heard how Jack had been treated before and wasn't too happy about returning.

"Oh, I'm sure he'll be treated just fine this time. As soon as they know who he is things will be different. It's just homeless people they treat like crap", Tina said bitterly.

They pulled into the Emergency driveway and Tina hopped out. "I'll go get someone with a gurney."

A few minutes later she came with two orderlies, pulling a stretcher. They quickly transferred Jack and he was raced into the Trauma ward. "Go park and meet me inside", Tina slammed the door and raced after Jack.

By the time Sam had parked and returned she was a mass of nerves. The Colonel had looked terrible and had continued to moan and mutter. He was saying all sorts of classified things and, although she figured most people would think it was just the ravings of an ill man, she knew she had to contact Hammond. Anyway, he'd want to know as soon as they found O'Neill.

By the time she'd made it into the Trauma ward she'd managed to call Hammond and give him a quick update. He was going to have transport waiting, in case the Colonel could be transferred. What was even better news was that Janet was on her way. Sam felt much better knowing their own, favorite doctor would soon be on hand.

She'd been here for hours, waiting for word on the Colonel's condition. Tina had come out after a few minutes and told her they were examining him and they'd find out soon. She sat down beside Sam and the two women sat quietly, both thinking about the man who was so ill, and whom they both cared about, although in very different ways.

"Sam, any word?" She looked up to see Daniel and Teal'c – and BJ and Joe – all standing looking at her.

"Uh, no, nothing." She looked at Daniel with her eyebrows raised, a silent question in her eyes.

"They both wanted to come to make sure he was okay. Joe drove us."

"Thank you", she looked at the young man. "And to you too BJ. I know Jack will be glad to have you here."

"Jack? That his real name?" BJ asked. "Yeah, I can see that. He looks like a 'Jack'. He a real General?" he asked the others.

"Close – he's a Colonel."

"Colonel eh? Why that's good, although he'll always be the General to me."

"I'm sure he'd like that', Sam said gratefully. "Thank you for watching out for him."

"I didn't do a very good job. Paco and his boys really hurt him. If he dies -"

"O'Neill will not die", Teal'c answered definitely. There was no doubt in his mind that his friend would survive to fight another day.

The dark night soon turned into day and still the unlikely and new-found friends waited. There was no real news, even although Tina spoke with some of the other nurses to try and get some information.

"He's being prepped for surgery", she finally found out. "He has some internal bleeding but they don't know how bad yet. They're going to go in and repair whatever it is. After that they'll come and talk to us."

"It's taken long enough", Daniel huffed.

"It's a busy night", Tina explained. "They're probably short of doctors."

It was an hour later when they heard a flurry at the door and in walked Janet Frasier, followed closely by General Hammond. Sam closed her eyes briefly, feeling a huge sense of relief. Having the two of them here suddenly made her feel like everything was going to be okay.

"How is he?" the General asked, getting straight to the point.

"We don't know Sir", she answered. "They've just taken him to surgery. They said he's bleeding internally and they have to fix that then they can tell us more."

"I'm going to go and see if I can find out anything", Janet stated as she walked to the nurses' station.

"I'll see if I can help her", Tina stood up as well and showed Janet through the doors into Trauma.

"What do we know about where he was?" Hammond asked. He'd only gotten the barest minimum details from Sam's call so the team spent the next half an hour bringing him up to speed.

"Do you think Samuel's man saw you?" he asked.

"I don't' know Sir, although it's likely. We probably stuck out like sore thumbs."

"I'm going to arrange for security here at the hospital and then as soon as he's able we'll transport him to the SGC. It'll be easier to watch him there and safer for him."

It was almost noon by the time the doctor appeared to give them any information.

"Are you with Mr. O'Neill?" he asked the group seated in the waiting room.

"Yes", General Hammond rose, "I'm _Colonel_ O'Neill's Commanding Officer and these are his teammates and friends."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize he was in the military." The doctor pulled off his cap and wearily ran his hand through his hair. "Well, your friend is stable for now although he's still critical. We repaired the damage to his kidney and have stopped the bleeding. We'll keep him on dialysis for now but that should heal, barring complications."

"You said he's critical – is there something else wrong with him?" Hammond asked.

"Yes", the doctor answered bluntly. " He's suffering serious pneumonia in both lungs. We've had to put him on a respirator and we're pumping him full of broad spectrum antibiotics. Besides that, he suffered severe bruising over a large portion of his body, along with a broken arm and three broken fingers. It's the combination of everything that's serious. We'll know better how he is in the next 24 to 48 hours. If we can get ahead of the infection he should be fine – although he looks like he was in bad shape to begin with so his recuperation is going to take a while."

"Can we see him", Sam asked softly.

"Only for 5 minutes and then no more than two of you can go in for now. Until he's out of the ICU we can't have too many people – they'll get in the way of the nurses."

Janet hadn't reappeared so they assumed she had gotten in to see Jack. After a short discussion it was decided that Daniel and Sam would go in to see him. Teal'c hated having to wait, but knew he'd probably be of more use to O'Neill during his recovery phase. His calm presence would help the Colonel when he began to get frustrated with his recuperation. For now, Teal'c knew that his two teammates would bring the most comfort.

Sam took a deep breath and looked to Daniel for courage. He gave her a small smile – needing her support as much as she did his. Together they walked into the ICU room where Jack was being looked after.

"Janet, how's he doing?" Dr. Frasier was standing by the bed, looking down and her friend and colleague. She glanced up when she heard Sam's voice.

"Sam, Daniel, hi. Did the doctor tell you anything?"

"Just a bit. He said the Colonel has pneumonia as well as some broken bones. He also told us about the surgery." She took another deep breath. "Is he going to be okay?"

"I don't know", Janet answered truthfully. "He was in pretty bad shape already and the pneumonia is bad. If the antibiotics don't get to it quickly well -" she stopped and didn't say anything more for a few seconds. "On top of that he's suffered physical trauma, both recently and over the last few weeks. I'm just hoping his body can withstand the infection."

"Is there anything we can do Janet?" Daniel asked.

"Pray."

"I mean with – you know – special technology?" He glanced at the ICU nurse sitting at the station in one quarter of the room.

"Maybe, although we'd have to take him to Colorado for that and he's not well enough to travel. If he takes a turn for the worse I'll ask General Hammond. In the meantime, we'll just have to hope that the Colonel's usual stubbornness keeps him going."

Sam finally approached the bed and was shocked to see how pale and lifeless the Colonel looked. She hated seeing all the equipment hooked up to him – which she knew was keeping him alive – but which she also knew he would hate.

"Colonel, you get better now, okay? We need you back in the SGC. Things just aren't the same without you. We need you Sir", her voice cracked. "Come back to us – please." With a small sniff, which she tried to cover up, Sam stepped back to allow Daniel the chance to see and speak to the Colonel.

"Jack, if you can hear me, I want you to listen closely", Daniel said firmly. "You've got to get your butt back here because there's no one to look after Sam and me. We haven't had anyone come to bug us in our offices, or fiddle with our priceless and rare objects – or tell us corny jokes. We really need you Jack. Listen to Sam and come back to us, please."

A couple of more minutes and the nurse looked up and nicely suggested that they let the Colonel rest. With a smile and a gentle touch on his cheek, Sam turned and left the room. Daniel followed immediately and a couple of seconds Janet came out as well.

"I hate to see him like that", Daniel stood, looking stricken. "He just doesn't look like Jack."

"How do you expect him to look Daniel. He was kidnapped, tortured and left for dead!"

"I know Sam, I'm sorry – I just – I feel so terrible and I want to _do _something."

"I know Daniel, so do I."

"The best thing you two can do is look after yourselves so that you're up to helping the Colonel when he's awake. The next few weeks are going to be difficult – so for God's sake don't allow yourself to get sick."

Janet was right! The next couple of weeks were hard on all of them as they took turns sitting with a comatose Colonel. As soon as the Colonel was out of immediate danger, Hammond had had to return to the SGC. He had one of the team call him with daily reports, and he was frustrated he couldn't be with Jack, but knew he was needed on base.

He wasn't the only one feeling frustrated. Sam, Daniel and Teal'c took turns sitting with the Colonel and softly talking to him. He'd been moved out of ICU, but was still unconscious, even though the respirator had been removed as well as some of the equipment. He still had an IV and an oxygen canula under his nose but otherwise there was little in the way of technology surrounding him. The only problem now was, he wouldn't wake up.

The doctors weren't quite sure what was going on. According to them, he should be waking up. Teal'c was the one who finally said what they were all thinking.

"He does not want to wake up. He believes he will return to the room, or possibly even to the streets. I believe he feels safe where he is."

Sam had to agree. The last couple of months had been horrific for the Colonel. If it had been her that had gone through what he went through, she would want to stay unconscious too.

It was almost two weeks since he'd been brought in. The pneumonia was under control and the other injuries were healing. Sam was sitting by his bed, reading a book she'd been wanting to get to in a while. At first she didn't notice anything, but, after a few minutes it felt like someone was watching her. She slowly lifted her head, until she was looking into the brown eyes of one Colonel Jack ONeill.

"Oh my - crap! Colonel, hi – how are you feeling?"

She watched as he continued to stare at her, with no change in expression. She tried again to speak with him, but he began to get a look of fear on his face so she stopped and backed off.

"What did they do to you Sir", she asked quietly. "I wish you'd let me help you."

He stared at her for a bit longer and then rolled over on his side, his back to her. She closed her eyes in pain. She wondered if Jack O'Neill was gone – or if he'd ever return.


	7. The Assassin

The next time the Colonel woke up Sam sat nervously by his bed. She wasn't sure how he'd react but she knew, she'd feel awful if he still appeared frightened of her. She had so hoped that he would recognize her – or at least one of his teammates. Instead, he'd seemed to withdraw into himself, appearing at times fearful and other times completely disoriented.

It took him a moment to open his eyes and focus. He stared at the ceiling, a slight frown on his face. Slowly he turned his face towards her. For a moment he simply stared, as usual, and then a small spark appeared in his eyes. This was followed by a tiny smile.

"Sam", he whispered.

"Sir – Colonel – how are you?" She breathed deeply in relief. She reached out slowly and took his uninjured hand in hers, holding it gently. She was thrilled when he pressed her hand with his.

He continued to look at her, the smile on his face, although he didn't speak. After a few moments he drifted back into sleep. She continued to hold his hand.

"How's he doing?" Janet entered and spoke quietly. "He looks like he's resting better than he usually does."

"He recognized me", Sam answered, still looking at the Colonel.

"Really? Are you sure?" Janet frowned at Sam, hoping this wasn't just wishful thinking on the part of her friend.

"Really. He said my name and squeezed my hand."

Janet suddenly realized that Sam was still holding the Colonel's hand and smiled to herself. This is what the Colonel needed. That thought was followed swiftly by another one – Sam could end up getting hurt, especially if the Colonel didn't show some dramatic improvement. The way things looked, Janet was becoming more and more concerned that the damage was permanent.

It was a full two weeks after he'd been brought back to the hospital that Janet determined that he was well enough to be moved to Colorado. Although he hadn't spoken when conscious, other than to say Sam's name, he continued to have nightmares where he'd speak of going through the Stargate or fighting aliens. The nurses pretty much thought they were the ravings of a madman but Sg1 and Janet all worried about the amount of information that was being revealed.

As for the Colonel himself, he was improving – physically – every day. It was his mental condition that was worrying. He no longer showed the same fear he had at the beginning, at least not with Janet, Daniel or Teal'c. He seemed to respond positively to Tina and BJ – he could remember them clearly in his most recent memories – although he hadn't yet said anything.

He was frightened of the medical staff or any others that entered his room, often cowering back into his bed. They'd even seen him pull the covers over his face on occasion. Janet had had to order a sedative once when an orderly had entered the room. He was a large man and had seemed to terrify the Colonel.

The one person who seemed able to get through to him was Sam. For some reason, after that first visit, he'd not only accepted her presence, but seemed to relax when she was near. He even allowed her to touch him and appeared able to rest without dreams when she held his hand.

At first she'd been uncomfortable with being caught touching him but Janet had simply nodded and encouraged it. "He needs the connection Sam", she'd said. "It grounds him and gives him a sense of security. Keep doing it."

She had nodded, although she knew she was blushing slightly. She was glad the Colonel responded to her, but it also made her uncomfortable. Fortunately, none of her teammates made a comment about it and the staff all accepted it as totally normal.

Today she was sitting quietly, watching him sleep, and thinking about what was going to happen next. Nobody had said anything but she was pretty sure this would mean the end of the Colonel's career. Even if he improved dramatically, he'd been too traumatized to ever recover fully. She knew he would probably suffer from PTSD for the rest of his life. It made her feel incredibly sad – not only for the Colonel, but for his teammates as well. They were all losing something special if the Colonel had to retire. As far as she was concerned personally, she felt like she had lost him – and the ironic thing was she had never had him, as other than a friend and commander.

"Sam", a soft voice interrupted her thoughts. It took her a second to realize where the sound was coming from. This was only the second time she'd heard him speak, other than in his nightmares.

"Sir!" she answered, moving in closer the Colonel. "How are you?"

"'kay", he managed to get out. Clearly talking was difficult.

"Everything's fine Colonel. We're all here and we're all safe. Just rest. I'll be here when you wake up."

He nodded slightly and then smiled. He closed his eyes and drifted back to sleep. She continued to sit with him.

"General Hammond has arranged a helicopter to bring the Colonel back to the SGC", Janet announced the next morning. They were all sharing breakfast in the cafeteria while the Colonel was going through a series of tests. They were still trying to determine if there had been any actual physical trauma to his brain or if his condition was mostly psychological. Janet had said that they'd do more tests when they returned to the SGC. "We have access to equipment they don't have available here", she'd explained.

They were all glad to be going home. Spending their days in a downtown LA hospital was exhausting and boring at the same time. It would have been different if the Colonel had been able to communicate. As it was, they mostly just sat by his bed and watched him as he stared into space – or if Sam was present he stared at her.

It had been Sam who had spent the most time at his bedside. The others had tried to see if they could collect any more information on Samuels and how he'd pulled off the kidnapping. With the help of Walter and General Hammond, they were also trying to track down the man Abel.

They were all going to be very sad to see the last of both Tina and BJ. Tina was back to work and had been assigned to Jack's floor. She'd also been given all her back pay – and a promotion – after everything had come to light.

The Administrator, Carl Withers, had quickly identified that something was wrong in Jack's files. He knew, by looking at them, that his doctor had been grossly negligent in releasing him too early. He was also able to see that the treatment he had been getting wasn't adequate for his condition. He'd called up Woodward, and the nursing supervisor, but had been given the run around. He decided to do a little more investigating and had called in some of the other staff, including Tina Alvarez. What he heard both shocked and angered him.

"You will start back to work immediately", the Administrator said, "and you will be returned all docked pay. Nurse Alvarez, you have the hospital's apology for this. In light of your courage and your attempt to do the right thing, you will also receive a promotion, effective immediately."

"Uh – thank you Sir", she stumbled over her words, too shocked to take it all in.

Withers relaxed slightly and smiled. "I really do hope you'll accept my apology Nurse. As soon as I saw what happened I had them call you back in. This sort of thing is not allowed in my hospital!"

"Thank you", she said again, "but aren't you worried about our budget? Everyone seems to think that homeless people cost us too much money."

He sighed – it was true that he constantly had to figure out how to pay for things and sometimes he had to make decisions which were painful. What he'd never do, however, is risk anyone's life over a few dollars. They could fire him for that if they wanted – but he refused to budge on his principals.

"Oh budget", he said as if it was a minor detail, "we'll figure it out – we always do."

Tina had returned to her locker, a bemused expression on her face. She was still unsure as to what had happened. At first she thought it was because they had found out who the Colonel was, but after talking to Mr. Withers she wasn't so sure. She kind of thought he was a man of compassion and principle. She wondered briefly what had happened to Woodward and Theresa.

As for Dr. Woodward well, he was recovering after being hit by a severe case of Dr. Janet Frasier! The good doctor had asked to see Jack's charts, wanting to learn about his condition when first admitted to the Downtown hospital. It had taken her even less time than it had Withers to figure out how the Colonel had been treated.

Rarely had this busy, metropolitan hospital witnessed the fury that was now striding down the hallway!

Janet slammed into the doctors' lounge, the door banging loudly against the wall. She glanced around the room at the shocked looking faces until she found the one she was looking for. She then marched forward, fists clenched and swinging at her sides. Her face red, her breathing erratic, she launched – verbally – into Dr. Woodward.

"You bloody ASS! What the hell were you doing?" she shouted.

"What? Who are -"

"You be QUIET you moron. You just about killed a good man – a national hero. Who the hell taught you medicine? I'm going to talk to the head of this hospital and make sure that you are disciplined, severely for this. You are a man without principle and without decency. May you rot in HELL!" With that she turned around and stomped out.

The other doctors simply looked at Woodward, who sheepishly left the lounge.

In the end, Woodward was severely reprimanded, had to publicly apologise to Tina and was forced to take a course on ethics and patient care. Withers then suspended him for 4 weeks without pay.

Nurse Cain was given a severe dressing down by the Administrator and also had to apologize to Tina. The reprimand was noted in her file, but her years of excellent service saved her from any more disciplinary action. She was a decent woman and eventually made her way to Tina and apologized honestly and directly.

Tina returned home that night, feeling better than she had in a long time.

BJ continued to live on the street, even though both Daniel and Teal'c had tried to convince him to stay in a hotel. They offered to pay for it but BJ refused to be beholden to anybody.

"I've lived here for years – I'll be just fine."

"But BJ – you don't have to keep living on the street. We'll help you find a place."

The arguments went on, but the big man continued to refuse. What he did do was faithfully come and visit Jack every day. At first the hospital staff had objected but Nurse Alvarez – and then, to everyone's surprise, Theresa, their supervisor – both gave permission for BJ to visit.

As they were preparing to return to Colorado, Daniel tried one last time. "Please BJ, can't you let us help you. It would make Jack happy", he argued.

BJ shook his head – "nah, you don't need an old homeless man to worry about. You just look after the General here – make sure he gets better."

Both men were standing in Jack's room, talking quietly as the Colonel slept. They were surprised, then, when Jack spoke up – hesitatingly it was true – but it was definitely him.

"Let 'em help you, for God's sake man", he said, panting slightly. "Dan'l drive me crazy if you don't."

"Hey General, you awake?" BJ walked over to the bed, a big grin on his face.

"Yeah – couldn't sleep with all the racket", he answered shortly.

Daniel too had walked over, surprise written on his face. Had Jack just mentioned his name? It's the first time he'd heard his friend being coherent, although Sam had mentioned that he recognized her. She hadn't indicated he'd done more than say her name though.

"Jack?" he asked, praying that it hadn't been an aberration.

"Dan'l", Jack replied.

"You know me?" Daniel threw back.

Jack frowned, looking almost angry. "Course", he replied shortly. "You're that – archaeologist."

"Yeah" Daniel looked cautiously at the Colonel wondering if Jack knew they were friends or simply remembered him as the archaeologist from that first mission to Abydos.

"And – my –pesky friend."

Daniel grinned – he couldn't help it. Actually, he wanted to cheer – Jack was on his way back. "Yeah Jack, that's right, I'm your friend."

Jack returned the smile but then shifted his eyes to BJ. "Let Dan'l help you", he said again. "You're m'friend too."

Both Daniel and BJ blinked rapidly, neither man wanting to show their emotion but overwhelmed to hear Jack coming back.

"You just worry about yourself General. I can look after myself!"

Jack looked like he wanted to argue but he was so tired his eyes began to droop. He was asleep in a couple of seconds but his two friends continued to watch over him.

Jack still didn't say much but he was beginning to respond, more and more, to his friends. He still wouldn't communicate with any of the staff but at least he was progressing. It had finally been decided that he'd be shipped home – or at least to the SGC – the next day.

* * *

><p>"He's in hospital in Los Angeles", the man in the suit said.<p>

"You're sure?"

"Yes, I sent one of my men in to see. Dr. Jackson, Major Carter and the Jaffa Teal'c are all there with him as is Dr. Frasier."

"What kind of shape is he in? Has he said anything?"

"No. Fred spoke with some of the nurses. Turns out he's still out of it. They suspect brain damage."

Samuels laughed. "O'Neill – brain damaged? I wonder how they could tell. He's always been an idiot."

"Really? I heard he was a brilliant commander."

"Brilliant? No, I'm afraid that's Carter and Jackson who are the brains. He was pretty much the grunt – but still a pain in the ass. But we can't be too careful. If he does improve he might be able to point to us. We can't afford that."

"But I thought you wanted him for his Ancient knowledge?"

"I'm beginning to doubt there was anything there. If there was, I expect it's been lost with the damage. No, I think we'd better cut our losses and get rid of him."

"You're sure?"

"Are you questioning me?" Samuels asked quietly. The other man could feel the sweat begin to form on his forehead.

"No Sir, of course not. I just want to make sure that my orders are clear."

"I think you know very well what your orders are. I want to know that Jack O'Neill is never going to bother us again."

* * *

><p>Sam was just about to head back to her hotel for the night. Jack had done well today – he'd actually eaten something solid for dinner. She'd had to coax him but eventually he'd cooperated. She'd even gotten a smile out of him when she'd magically produced a piece of chocolate cake. He'd only managed a few bites but the expression of pleasure on his face had cheered her immensely.<p>

He was beginning to fall asleep, his eyes getting heavier by the minute. He continued to watch her closely, almost as if she was his lifeline. Every once in a while he'd reach out as if afraid she was going to leave. After a couple of times she responded by taking his hand his hand. That seemed to settle him and allow him to drift off.

She didn't hear the door open or the man move up silently behind her. The only thing that saved her was Jack. Somehow, he seemed to sense something and his eyes suddenly popped open. He peered over her shoulder - it was the look of fear on his face that alerted her and she moved quickly.

The blow that would have severely injured, or even killed her, ended up glancing off the side of her head. It was, however, enough to stun her. She fell to the ground, passing out for a brief moment. It was enough time for the intruder to move towards the Colonel, a silenced pistol in his hand. He lifted it and pointed it at O'Neill, who desperately tried to throw himself off the side of the bed.

The sound, when it came, was not as soft as he was expecting. Jack froze, waiting for the pain, for death – but when it didn't come he frowned. After a couple of seconds he managed to look up. He was still half on the bed but managed to pull himself up all the way. The sight before him was enough to make him shake his head and look again.

Sam was groaning and pulling herself up. The intruder – a man dressed in a white hospital jacket, was laid out on the floor with BJ standing over him – a bed pan in his hand.

"He didn't look like no doctor General", BJ said, his eyebrow twitching.

At that moment Sam seemed to come back to awareness and with a small gasp she pushed herself over and grabbed the gun which lay on the floor, just beyond the unconscious man's reach. She pushed herself to her feet but kept the gun pointed at the assassin.

"BJ, call security and then call Daniel", she said, her voice only slightly shaky. "Are you okay Sir?" she asked, glancing quickly at the Colonel.

"Uh – fine – Sam." He looked wonderingly at BJ, who still had the bed pan clutched in his hands. "Kind of – a cliché'", he managed to get out. The other man looked slowly down at the object he held, as if he'd forgotten it. He then lifted his head and grinned at Jack.

"That it is General – but it worked!"

"Yeah – thanks", the Colonel replied softly. For once he didn't look frightened. If anything, he was taking this better than any of them.

BJ finally placed the bedpan down on the empty bed next to the Colonel and went to get security. Jack looked over at Carter. "You – okay?" he asked in concern.

"I'm fine Sir – just a slight bump. If you hadn't warned me it would have been a lot worse." She lifted her hand and gently touched the bump on the side of her head. She grimaced and then walked closer to O'Neill. "I'm sorry Sir", she said, her voice full of guilt.

"What for?" he asked, puzzled.

"For not doing a better job of protecting you. If it hadn't been for BJ - !"

"Not your – fault", he answered. He leaned back into the pillow. "Who is it?" he then asked.

She looked over at the man who seemed to be groaning and beginning to move. "I don't know. It's not someone I recognize."

A few minutes later BJ arrived with two hospital security guards who immediately grabbed the intruder.

"We'll have him taken to the police station", one of the guards said.

"No!" Jack answered. He laid his head back, exhausted with all the commotion.

"I think what Colonel O'Neill is saying is this is a military matter. We'll contact General Hammond and he'll arrange for military police to pick him up."

The guards didn't like it, but they'd been told that the patient was a VIP and they were to do anything they could to help and protect him.

"We'll take him down and lock him up until they come", the older guard answered.

"Okay, but be careful. He's a highly trained killer, if I'm not mistaken. Really watch he doesn't get away. I expect he has more weapons on him." Sam watched as the intruder was patted down for concealed weapons. The guards then tied his wrists behind him, with plastic ties.

Shortly after they left BJ said he had to get back 'home'. "I don't want anyone stealin' my spot", he said. "Took me a long time to find a place I liked."

Sam thanked him again as did Jack. "Thanks BJ. I – owe you – one."

"Hey General, you just get better and then come and see me. We'll call it even."

Once everyone was gone Sam turned to the Colonel.

"I should get going so you can get some rest", she said softly. He nodded, slightly, but she could tell he wasn't happy. He'd appeared to come through the episode well, but she suspected he was still feeling frightened and vulnerable. "It is getting late though. Do you think they'd mind if I bunked out on the other bed?"

"No – t'sokay", he replied. He tried to sound casual and as if he didn't care, one way or another, but Sam could tell he was relieved.

"Okay good." After brushing her teeth Sam took off her shoes and climbed under the covers. The hospital bed wasn't the most comfortable she'd ever slept in, but the relief in Jack's eyes made it worthwhile.

"Goodnight Colonel", she said softly.

He gave her a small smile, turned on his side towards her and closed his eyes. "Night Sam."

Tomorrow they were returning home. She only hoped things would soon get better.


	8. Thor

_**Sorry for the delay in posting. I've been back visiting my family in Canada and was too busy seeing people to write! Hope you enjoy and thanks for the reviews. I will get back to people now that I'm back home.**_

Tina and BJ both came by the next morning to say goodbye. They all gave Tina a big hug.

"If you ever want another job", Janet said to her, "Give me a call. I would love to have you come and work with me." In fact, Janet was going to speak with General Hammond to see if they could bring Tina to the SGC. She was just the kind of nurse they needed.

Try as hard as he could, Daniel couldn't convince BJ to leave the streets. He knew that if Jack were better he'd have more luck. BJ was leery of accepting help from anyone. In his experience, it usually came with strings attached. Daniel finally tried to give the man some money to help him but again, BJ refused.

"Someone will just rob me", he replied. "No sense having money on the street. It just makes you a target."

"Okay then, at least take this", he handed him a piece of paper. "It's got my phone number on it. If you ever need anything, have Joe give me a call, okay?"

BJ grinned and put the paper in his pocket. "Sure. I may call you to see how the General is doing." He looked over at the dozing man. The nurses had been in and had gotten him ready for transport but the whole ordeal had exhausted him. "Look after him."

"We will BJ, don't worry." Daniel shook the big man's hand.

Sam reached up and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you", she said. "You know we're always here for you. We'll look after the Colonel – General", she smiled, "When he's better he'll come and see you."

BJ gave her a big hug and agreed, although his eyes gave away his doubts. He didn't think Jack would ever be that well.

They took Jack on a stretcher into the helicopter for the quick journey to Colorado. Janet monitored him carefully but she'd given him a sedative, so he slept the whole way.

By the time they reached the mountain it was growing dark. They quickly took him down in the elevator and straight to the Infirmary. Along the way a number of people lined the corridors, wanting to see the Colonel and assure themselves he was still alive. Janet gestured to them to be quiet since she knew he wasn't up to dealing with anyone other than his team.

Jack opened his eyes and looked around, although it took him a moment to figure out where he was. When he finally realized that he was 'home' he felt a great weight lift from his shoulders.

"How are you feeling this morning Colonel", Janet's voice woke him from a semi-doze. He blinked his eyes to clear them from the sedative induced bleariness and looked up at the doctor's face. He blinked again, still trying to clear his mind and concentrate.

He knew he was starting to do better. His mind was becoming clearer, the terror dying down. But he knew he wasn't whole. There were still gaps, still parts of him that felt as though they were missing. He couldn't concentrate on anything for very long and still had flashbacks and moments of terror. He couldn't stop thinking about that little room – that room where he'd been taken and where he'd suffered such pain.

The only thing that helped was having his friends around him. They kept the horror at bay and grounded him. He knew, however, that he couldn't ask them to stay with him all the time. They had lives, they had work to do. They couldn't spend their lives looking after him.

"Jack", Janet's voice penetrated the blackness that started to encroach on his mind. He shook himself and looked at her.

"Mornin'" he said quietly.

"How are you Jack?" she asked – as a friend, not as a doctor.

He smiled slightly. "I'll be okay." He could tell by the look she gave him that she didn't believe that anymore than he did.

"You're doing a lot better Sir. Your pneumonia is all cleared up and the breaks are healing nicely. We just need to fatten you up and you'll be good."

"Yeah", he agreed. "I'll be good."

Jack grew stronger, physically, day by day but Janet worried about him nevertheless. Mentally he had gotten a bit better, but he still had a long way to go – and there, he didn't seem to be gaining ground after the initial improvement . He still suffered terrible nightmares and had frequent episodes where he didn't know where he was. He often had trouble recognizing people and grew frightened easily.

"I don't know Sir", Janet said in answer to the General's question. "Physically he's fine. But he's suffered severe psychological trauma and there's nothing more I can do. He needs another kind of help now."

"What are you saying Doctor", Hammond asked, a perturbed look on his face.

"I'm saying he needs psychiatric help."

The General sighed. "Dr. Mackenzie?"

"No Sir. I wouldn't recommend him. The Colonel doesn't like or trust Dr. Mackenzie, not after what happened to Daniel. Anyway, he needs someone who specializes in working with torture victims."

"Doctor, you should know that I've received word from the NID. They've heard that the Colonel is back. They also discovered that he spoke of the Stargate while at the hospital in Los Angeles. They're saying he's a security risk and want him taken to a secure hospital."

"You mean a prison, don't you? They'll lock him up and throw away the key."

The General sighed again. "I'm doing what I can to prevent that but you need to tell me whether or not you think the Colonel can come back to us."

"I – I don't know General. He's one of the strongest people I know but –this time – I think it may be too much." Tears gathered in her eyes. "I don't know if there's anything more we can do."

"What about our allies? Can they help?" The General sat down heavily, feeling the weight of his years and of his command. Jack was like a son to him and the thought of losing him – like this – was almost unbearable.

"I don't know. Walter has been sending messages to anyone he can think of. I don't know if they can help though – this isn't physical and I don't think the Tokra have anything to cure a wounded mind. The Asgard might be able to help – I don't know."

"We'll hold the NID off as long as we can then. I think maybe the Colonel might suffer a bit of a relapse from his pneumonia, don't you Doctor?"

She looked at him in surprise, and then grinned slightly. "I think that's probable Sir."

"Okay then, you watch over the Colonel and I'll keep the wolves from the door. In the meantime, can we get someone to look at him? Someone who will keep it totally confidential?"

"Yes, I have an old friend – I went to med school with him. I'll ask him to come and speak with the Colonel."

"Okay, I'll arrange clearance for him – just keep it quiet. We certainly don't need to let the NID know anymore than we have to."

"Thank you Sir."

As Janet walked back towards the Infirmary, she wondered how in the world she was going to get the Colonel to agree to see a therapist. There was nothing he hated more than 'shrinks'. She sighed. She'd just have to get him to agree for his own sake.

When she arrived she saw that both Daniel and Sam were sitting and talking to the Colonel. They were laughing about something. She couldn't help but shake her head – it sounded like the old Sg1.

"Janet", Sam turned around and smiled at her friend. "We were just telling the Colonel about Siler's latest mishap."

"You mean getting his finger caught in the ketchup bottle?"

Jack's laughter was a wonderful thing, thought Sam. She'd despaired of ever hearing it again. It was the first time she felt any hope at all.

Unfortunately, that hope didn't last. Over the next few days Jack continued to fade in and out. She could tell that he was becoming despondent and that he'd given up hope of getting better. She no longer knew what to do.

"Janet, is there anything we can do?" she asked the Doctor as they sat in her office, drinking a cup of coffee.

"I don't know Sam. I wish I could say he was going to be okay – but I just don't know."

Surprisingly, the Colonel had agreed to see Dr. Reznick – or at least, he hadn't refused. Barry Reznick was an old friend of hers who worked with prisoners of war and people who had been tortured. He knew exactly what he was getting into with the Colonel – or at least he thought he did.

"I don't know if there's much I can do Janet", he finally said. "It's not just what he went through recently – this man has had multiple things happen to him over the past few years, beginning with the death of his son. I'd like to think I can still help, but he's broken in ways which a quick fix isn't going to work. I'll continue to work with him if that's what he wants – but I don't think he truly believes he can get better. If he doesn't believe it there's not a lot I can do."

He walked over to Janet and put his arms around her. "I'm sorry Janet, I know this is hard. I feel the same way I'm sure you do when you can't save a patient. I'm not going to stop trying, but you need to know the truth. Colonel O'Neill has suffered more than anyone should bear. I just don't think he wants to go on anymore."

Janet closed her door, after the Doctor had left, and laid her head on her desk and cried. That was the way that Sam found her a short while later.

"Janet, what's happened? What is it?" She hurried over to her friend's side and knelt down. "What's wrong", she asked again.

"Sam, you know – you know what's wrong. He's not getting any better – and I don't think he will. They want to put him away and I don't know how to stop them."

"What do you mean? Who wants to put him away?"

"The NID – the people in power. They're afraid that he's a security leak – that he'll say too much."

"No way! He'll get better, you'll see. It's just going to take some time. He's been through a lot and we'll be here. I'll – we'll look after him."

"Sam, you know he won't let you do that. If he – if he doesn't get better there's no way the General or I can stop them from taking him away. I'm sure Samuels is behind this."

"God damn it! Why can't we stop the man? We've tried everything but we haven't found any evidence that he was involved – even though we know it was him."

"Have they found the other man?"

"Abel? No, there's been no sign of him at all."

"Well, we'll have to just make sure they don't get the Colonel."

It was a lot easier said than done. The next couple of weeks saw the Colonel pretty much stay the same. In some ways, he even seemed to be getting worse. They'd caught him a few times cowering under his blankets and he'd tried to run away a couple of times. In desperation the General had stationed an SF outside his door.

Barry continued to come in and work with him, with limited success. Some days Jack tried to cooperate – other days he was angry and beligerant. He clearly had trust issues, with almost everyone except his immediate team. He'd even lashed out at Feretti at one point and Janet finally had to limit his visitors.

It was becoming harder and harder for General Hammond to hold off the people who wanted O'Neill taken away and put into a secure mental hospital. He knew if that happened that would probably be the last they'd see of the Colonel. He didn't expect Jack would survive long in such an environment and, if he did, he wouldn't be the man they all knew.

They continued to try and reach their allies to see if they could help. After almost 10 days Jacob had shown up, with Anise/Freya in tow. They'd spent some time with Jack, over his very vocal objections. Eventually they'd left his room – Jacob looking pale and exhausted. Anise showed no emotion, although Janet thought she saw some small hint of sadness on the Tokra's face.

"I'm afraid there's nothing we can do", Jacob said, mincing no words. He looked at the assembled people, all friends of Jack's. "This isn't something the Tokra are able to deal with. If it had been physical we could have helped."

"Do you know of anyone else who might help, Jacob?", Hammond asked.

With a sigh Jacob turned and looked at him. "The Asgard are the only ones I know of who might be able to do something. Have you spoken with Thor?"

"No, we've sent word but haven't heard back."

"They're probably busy with the replicators. I'd wait and see if they can do anything."

"We may not have time, Dad", Sam said softly. She looked like she was holding on by the skin of her teeth. "The NID want him."

"The NID? What the hell for?"

"Samuels is behind it. We believe he was the one who had the Colonel kidnapped in the first place."

"Damn, can't someone do something?"

"Not really. We have no proof."

"Well, I wish I could say the Tokra would help with that. We'd be pleased to zat him into oblivion but it might harm earth/Tokra relations."

Once Jacob left – after a quick hug of his daughter and some reassuring words, the team got back to discussing what to do to help O'Neill.

The problem was that O'Neill didn't seem to want help. He'd finally just shut down and had shut everyone out. Even his team could no longer get through to him. He spent his days staring off into space, just like when he'd first been found.

Janet figured it was a combination of PTSD and severe depression. "I think he's given up", she said softly. "I just don't know what to do. Even Barry can't get through to him. If he doesn't want help there's not a lot we can do."

It was later that same day that they finally heard from the Asgard.

"My apologies General Hammond", Thor said, his holographic image standing in the General's office. "We received your message but we have been unable to respond until now. Is there something we can help you with?"

General Hammond spent the next few minutes telling Thor what had happened to O'Neill. Unlike Jack, he found it almost impossible to read the expressions on the Asgard's face – but he was pretty sure the little alien was quite upset.

"With your permission General, I'd like to examine Colonel O'Neill on our ship."

"I'll check with Janet. It may be difficult to move the Colonel."

It took a while to convince him, but finally Jack agreed to go, with a small nod. Other than that he didn't react. Even when he arrived on the Asgard ship he didn't acknowledge Thor or any of the other aliens. He was placed in a pod and Thor's monitors quickly checked him out.

Jack started to feel panicked. He began to lose awareness of where he was and all he knew was that he was in a confined space. He could feel his heart rate increase and found it difficult to breath. He opened his mouth, to let out a scream, when he felt a strange buzzing feeling and the next thing he knew he was back in his room in the Infirmary. He pulled the sheets over his head and shook in terror. He didn't understand what was happening.

"Is there something you can do?" the General asked Thor when he reappeared in his office. The examination had only taken a few minutes which made him feel hopeful that the Asgard had an answer.

"I am sorry General Hammond. I do not believe we have anything that will be of assistance."

"What! Nothing? Surely there must be something you can do with all your technology."

"We are familiar with the human body, after studying it for so many years. We have less understanding of the mind. We also believe that O'Neill does not understand how to heal himself – and that is the only thing that will help him."

"So, there's nothing you can do?"

"O'Neill is very important to the Asgard people", Thor stopped and then lifted his head and looked directly at Hammond. "He is more than that – he is my friend. I will continue to see if there is something I can do."

"Thank you Thor. Just please, make it as quick as you can."

Sam continued to sit by Jack, as did Teal'c and Daniel – but there was no interaction. He refused to even look at his friends.

"Anything?" Daniel asked softly as he entered the room.

"No, nothing. He won't even look at me."

"Damn it Jack!" Daniel said in frustration. "Jack, you have to snap out of this. Come on, we're all here for you. We want to help you but you have to talk to us." When nothing happened both Daniel and Sam sat back in despair.

"You can't go in there!" Janet was heard shouting. There were further sounds of struggle and then the door burst open and Colonel Samuels stood there with two guards.

"You can stand down Major", Samuels said to Frasier. "I have orders to collect Colonel O'Neill." He waved a paper in her face. "These men will take him into custody." He gestured with his head towards two plain clothed security people. "I suggest you back off unless you'd like to be arrested."

"This is MY infirmary and I'm the one who says when a patient is ready to leave", she answered, furiously.

"Not this time, Doctor. You've had him in your care for weeks now. It's been determined that he's physically able to leave. There is nothing you can do for him here so we're taking him somewhere where he can get the help he needs."

"Where you can continue to torture him you mean." Daniel stood up and spoke angrily to the NID man they knew was responsible for what had happened to O'Neill.

"Torture him? Why would we do that? No, we want to take him to a hospital that specializes in mental health cases." He walked over to O'Neill's bed and looked down at him. Both Daniel and Sam moved so he couldn't get too close.

"Hello Colonel. You want to come with me, don't you? We'll help you, you know."

Jack whimpered and pulled back. He didn't know what was happening, but he knew he didn't want to go with this man. There was something – something in the back of his mind that told him he wouldn't survive if the man took him away.

"Sam?" he said, "Help me."

"You're not taking the Colonel", she said, reaching down and taking his hand. "You'll have to shoot both of us to get to him."

"You'll have to shoot me too", Janet said, walking towards the bed. One of the guards reached out to grab her but she pulled away sharply.

"Don't tempt me people", Samuels hissed. "I have orders here that say the Colonel is coming with me. I suggest you move NOW!".

None of them knew what would have happened at that point because, just as the guards stepped forward, guns drawn, a shimmer of light appeared and O'Neill disappeared.


	9. Anteaus

"Where the hell is he?" Samuels was furious and was shouting at General Hammond.

"You will keep your voice down and show some respect", the General stood up and leaned on his desk. "Who the HELL do you think you are coming into this facility and trying to go over my head?"

"I had orders", the Colonel answered.

"I don't care if you had stone tablets! When you come into my base you will present yourself to me. I will be contacting my superiors – and yours – to lodge a formal complaint. You were out of line Colonel."

"Okay fine General. I apologize. However, that still begs the question. What did you do with Colonel O'Neill? You can't hide him. My orders are legitimate. He's a security risk and we want him in custody."

"I don't think he was exactly a security risk while staying at the _world's most secure facility_! As to where he is – I have no idea." He turned to Carter and Daniel. "Do the two of you have any ideas?"

"No Sir", they both answered in unison.

"There Colonel, we have no idea."

Samuels looked like he was going to have a stroke. He took a deep breath. "I assume you are going to try and discover where he is? He is one of your men, isn't he?" he asked sarcastically.

"Yes, that's right. He's one of _our_ men. As to what I'm going to do – well, that's not really any of your business. I suggest you and your men get off my base – and don't come back."

"You haven't heard the last of this General."

"I'm sure I haven't Colonel, but somehow, that doesn't really worry me. Now GET OUT!"

They waited quietly while Samuels gathered his men and turned to leave Hammond's office. Outside the door were 4 SF's from the SGC. They surrounded the three NID men and escorted them to the surface.

"Do you think it was the Asgard Sir?" Sam finally asked when the men were gone.

"I hope so, although I haven't heard anything. Thor told me he was looking for something that would help."

"It's just unusual he didn't get in touch", Daniel answered.

"He may have been aware of the presence of Colonel Samuels", Teal'c suggested. "We may hear from him shortly".

In fact, they received a message from Thor just a few minutes later. All he said was he was taking the Colonel for help.

"God, I sure hope whatever he does really can help him", Daniel said later as they all sat in Teal'c's small room.

"They wouldn't have taken him if they didn't think there was something they could do", Sam reasoned.

"Unless they took him to keep him away from the NID." Daniel added.

"Do they even _know_ about the NID?" Sam tried to think back to conversations with Thor.

"I don't know if they do or not. I'm just glad they took him. God, for a while there I thought we were going to have a gun fight on our hands."

Over the next few weeks things returned to some semblance of normalcy, although for SG1 nothing would be the same until a healthy Colonel O'Neill returned to them. They hadn't heard anything more from Thor and they could only pray he was getting some kind of treatment. At least they knew he was safe.

Samuels had tried to raise a stink and kept insisting that Hammond and his people knew where the Colonel was. The General assured his superiors that he had no idea. What he didn't say was even if he did know he'd never tell!

* * *

><p>Jack had been terrified when <em>that man<em> had threatened him. He'd been so frightened that he felt incredibly relieved when he'd been taken away, although that feeling had only lasted a few seconds. He started to panic when he again found himself in the small enclosure of the pod.

He knew he knew the little alien guy who'd transported him out - he could remember Thor – but didn't know why he'd taken him away. He wanted his team, desperately, but something kept him from calling out for Sam or Daniel or Teal'c. In the deep recesses of his mind he figured he was too old to call for his family.

As he lay there, unsure of what was happening, he didn't notice the small grey figure of his alien friend. Thor watched him for a second and then moved a small stone on a panel. Almost instantly Jack was asleep.

"O'Neill. Jack O'Neill" a soft voice disturbed the gentle calmness in which he resided. He felt at peace – safe. He was shielded from anything bad or painful and he didn't want to lose that.

"O'Neill, you must awaken." The voice was insistent, and somehow he knew he had to respond. He also knew that the voice wouldn't hurt him, that it would be okay to wake up.

He slowly opened his eyes, with only a tiny feeling of curiosity. He felt strangely disconnected with anything and relished the feeling. For a second everything appeared blurry, but then he noticed the ceiling above him. It looked rustic, as if he were in a primitive hut or cabin.

He frowned, ever so slightly. Keeping his eyes on the ceiling he tried to think what it was he was seeing – where he could be. After a second though, he began to relax and his eyes started to close. The feeling of safety was so strange, yet so good, that he allowed himself to be lulled back to sleep.

"Jack O'Neill", that voice came again.

He took a deep breath and forced his eyes open again. This time he turned his head, slightly. He didn't really want to know, but he realized that he wouldn't be allowed to go back to sleep until he discovered what – or who – was here.

A kind and compassionate face looked at him, the person sitting in a chair by the bed. Small, sweet and with twigs in her hair - !

"Lya?" he whispered.

"Yes, Jack O'Neill. Welcome to our home."

"Why am I here?" he asked, still only slightly curious.

"Our friend, Thor, brought you. He hoped that we would be able to help you – to heal you."

"And can you?" he asked. Right now he didn't really care, but wanted to be polite.

"That is up to you. We are here to offer you peace and safety. You must choose your path from there."

Okay, he could do that. Right now he chose sleep. With a small nod he closed his eyes and soon the woman, the ceiling, everything faded out and he was again at peace.

"You must get up now", Anteaus told him. He'd been here for – hell, he didn't know how long. He just knew that he'd been drifting, refusing to move, to speak to do anything. But, unlike before, he wasn't existing in some nameless terror – rather he was luxuriating in the peace and safety that surrounded him. He refused to let it go and he just knew, that if he thought about anything, if he moved, if he returned to living, everything bad would rush back.

"You have been here for many days and you must arise and rejoin the living", Anteaus repeated, perhaps for the 4th or 5th time.

"Why?" he asked, looking up at his favorite ceiling.

"Because this is just another form of death and it cannot last."

"Why not?" Okay, so he could be a jerk - heck, a childish jerk.

"You must get up Jack O'Neill", Anteaus voice had changed, and Jack felt something stirring around him. Suddenly, without warning, he was sitting up straight in bed. It took him a second to realize what had happened and then he turned and glowered at the Nox.

"What did you do that for?" he asked.

Anteaus simply smiled. "Your meal is waiting for you outside. There are fresh clothes and water for washing over there", he pointed to a table in the corner of the room, which Jack had never seen before. "When you are ready you must join us."

Jack wanted to flop back down and cross his arms over his chest and refuse. No one was going to tell him what to do. If he wanted to stay in this bed for the rest of his life, well then, he was going to do it!

It took only a matter of seconds to again realize he was being childish. It dawned on him that he was acting much the way he had when he was eight. He was sitting here sulking, because he was being made to do something he didn't want to do.

"Oh grow up O'Neill", he finally said to himself. With a groan he pulled himself to his feet and promptly fell right back onto the bed.

"Be careful O'Neill", Anteaus' voice came from outside the door. "You must move slowly. You have been lying down for many days and your body will be weak."

"Yeah, great time to tell me", muttered Jack from flat on his back. This time he was much more careful and took it slowly. He swayed on his feet until he felt able to limp over to the wash basin.

He must admit, he thought, getting clean did feel good. Anteaus had left a razor and he enjoyed the feeling of a clean shaven face.

"Well, here's nothing", he said. He turned and walked to the door, still feeling weak, but definitely stronger than he'd been a few minutes ago.

He squinted as he left the small hut that had been his home for so long. It was a beautiful, warm day and it looked like the sun was shining brightly, although it was cool and shaded here in the forest. The hut, one of about 5, was in a small clearing surrounded by tall, evergreen type trees. In front of him was a long, rustic table with benches down either side. Sitting at the table was a group of Nox. He recognized Lya, who looked up and gave him a small smile. By her side was a boy – he was pretty sure it was Nafrayu, although he'd grown since the last time Jack had seen him.

There were three other Nox women and two men also at the table. They all looked up at the same moment and they all smiled. They sure were a friendly lot, he thought to himself, without caring that much

"Welcome Jack O'Neill", one of the women said. "I am Mareya, this is Trona" she indicated the woman on her right, "and this is Bacla", indicating the third woman. "This man beside me is my husband Lenaus and that is my brother Timus. We welcome you to our home."

"Uh, thanks", he muttered. Lya had moved over and patted the seat beside her so he walked over and sat down. Looking round the table he slowly acknowledged the greetings of each of the Nox. He marveled at the fact that they all accepted him so easily, and seemingly without curiosity. He wondered about that briefly and then worried that Thor had said something to them. Maybe they all thought he was crazy and were humoring him?

"Eat Jack O'Neill", Anteaus had come up from behind and spoke to him. They practically had to scrape him off the sky he'd jumped so high. Yup, his nerves were definitely in very bad shape. "My apologies, I did not mean to frighten you."

"T'sokay", he answered shortly, although he wouldn't look up at anyone. He felt mortified. They must know he was a basket case.

Lya began to fill his plate with the food that was set on the table. He watched as she began to cut the food into bite size pieces. Now he really _did_ feel like a little kid!

He eventually took the plate from her – grabbed it actually. He had to murmur a quiet apology, but he really had to gain back some dignity.

He slowly ate as much food as he could, although he wasn't very hungry. The gnawing feeling in his stomach wasn't from lack of food but from the cold, hard knot of fear and despair that lived with him permanently. He eventually put his fork down and sat, not looking at the others who continued to eat quietly.

"Come", Anteaus hand reached down and gently grasped his arm. Jack flinched but then forced himself to relax. If there was anyone he didn't have to be frightened of it was the Nox.

"Come", the man repeated.

Knowing he didn't have the energy to refuse Jack slowly stood up. Everyone glanced at him and smiled when he stood. He attempted a small smile in return although he was pretty sure it came out more as a grimace.

"Where we goin'?" he asked.

"You need to breathe fresh air and to feel the sunlight. You have been too long in the dark."

Jack almost wanted to laugh. The Nox's words were more true than he knew. After a second, Jack realized that the Nox probably _did_ know. He suspected Anteaus was speaking about more than his time spent in the hut.

They began to walk through the cool of the woodland but, before long, they had left the serene and shady forest and had entered a large, flower covered meadow.

"This is one of my favorite places", Anteaus confided. "Whenever I feel melancholy I come here", he confided.

"You? Melancholy? I thought you Nox were pretty happy."

"We are content. That does not mean that there are not things that make us feel sad or lonely. It is those things that make us long for and appreciate what we have."

"Yeah right", Jack answered with some small bit of resentment. "You're telling me that you have to suffer pain to understand what it is to be happy? Sorry, it doesn't work that way. For some of us the pain doesn't stop."

"Maybe you do not let it?"

Jack laughed, a sound without humor. "I never did like shrinks, Anteaus, so I'm afraid your little lesson isn't going to work on me. A quick walk around a field of flowers and muttering a few platitudes isn't going to make things better."

"I was not attempting to make anything better Jack O'Neill", he replied calmly. "I was simply sharing with you my feelings about this place."

Okay, so now Jack _really_ felt like crap! He closed his eyes briefly. "I'm sorry Anteaus, I'm not really in a very social mood."

"That is okay my friend. I do not expect you to utter platitudes", Jack looked at him sharply but then had to grin at the other man's mischievous expression. "You are here to rest and to heal. We do not expect anything from you and will not attempt to force you to do anything."

"Except get off my ass and out of bed?"

"Yes", Anteaus grinned, "except for that."

They continued on in silence then, and Jack had to admit he was enjoying the feel of the warm sun on his back. He had felt so cold, for so long that the feeling began to relax him. After an hour or so he could feel himself getting sleepy. Even that was a good feeling. He'd been exhausted – physically and mentally for so long, but this was a different feeling. This time he felt calm and warm and lighter than he'd felt in a while. He almost believed he could go back and close his eyes and sleep without dreams.

"Are you ready to return Jack O'Neill?", the other man asked.

"Return?" Jack wondered for a minute if he was asking him if he was ready to return to earth.

"To bed. You must be tired."

"Oh, yeah. I guess I am." By the time they'd returned to the little village in the clearing Jack was practically dead on his feet. This is the most exercise he'd had in weeks – no, in months.

"Rest now", Lya came and sat by his bed and put her hand gently on his face. She brushed her fingers over his eyes, forcing them to close. "You must sleep and dream only of good things, not of bad. There is nothing here that will hurt you Jack O'Neill. There is only peace and love."

He drifted off, again feeling warm and protected. He dreamt about Daniel and Teal'c and Cassie – and especially about Sam. The last thing he remembered as he fell into a deep and dreamless sleep was her face, smiling up at him.

"You are doing well Jack O'Neill", Anteaus watched as he chopped the log in front of him. He'd been with the Nox now for over two months and he was physically in better shape than he had been in years. He didn't know if it was the air, the food, or the general lack of stress that was doing it, but his aches and pains had disappeared and his energy level was more like it had been when he was much younger.

He looked at the large pile of firewood and was shocked at how much he'd done, without really noticing it. He'd been thinking of a number of things and the time had flown by. He finally set down the axe and wiped his sweaty brow.

"Yeah, I guess I didn't realize how much I'd chopped." He reached over and took the glass of cold water Anteaus handed him and drank it down in one long gulp.

"We will have enough firewood for many months", the other man replied. Jack found the action of chopping the wood to be therapeutic but he had to laugh when he looked at how much he'd done. Anteaus was right, the Nox now had enough wood to last a long, long time.

"Sorry", he said, although the grin belied his apology.

"Do not apologize. I am the one who usually gets the task, and I hate chopping wood!"

Jack laughed out loud at this and then went suddenly still. He was pretty sure this was the first time he'd laughed in a long time.

"That is good my friend", Anteaus smiled slowly. "It is good to hear you laugh."

It had been a difficult couple of months. Jack had hoped the Nox had some kind of magical pill or ceremony that would cure him but that hadn't been the case. They had given him a quiet and safe place to heal, but nothing magic – at least as far as he could tell. He still got nightmares, although they were less and less, and he stiff felt afraid, although that too was happening less frequently.

The main difference he'd noticed had been the fact that he no longer had periods where he didn't know where he was or what was happening. He was totally aware that he was on the Nox home world, light years away from earth.

He had been thinking more and more about his own home, the last few days. He was really starting to miss it, although he didn't feel ready to return – if he ever would. He missed his friends – his family – more than he could say. He just didn't want to burden them with an old, damaged man. A man who still spent much of him time steeped in hopeless anguish.

He finally turned and smiled faintly at his friend. He'd grown to appreciate and really like the Nox man – and his wife Lya. They were truly gentle folk, but they were no pushovers. In fact, they were some of the strongest people he'd ever met, which was saying something. He truly liked and respected them and had decided he could learn to live out the rest of his days here. He didn't think he could ever return home.

"You are getting better Jack O'Neill", Anteaus said, "but it will take more time. Do not be impatient and do not despair. You have all the time in the world here."

"Thanks Anteaus", he answered. "I'm glad because I think that's about how long it's going to take."

"You are too hard on yourself. You had many wounds to heal and you _are_ better. You may feel it is happening slowly, but we see the difference and how far you have come. Soon you will be ready for Rapha."

"For Ralph?"

"No", the other man laughed, "Rapha. It will bring you to full health, but it is not easy and you must be prepared."

"Right. What do I have to do in this Rapha?"

"You shall see. Now is not the time."

* * *

><p>"It's been almost four months and we haven't heard a thing", Sam spoke angrily. "Why the hell doesn't Thor get in touch and tell us what's happening?"<p>

"Maybe he took Jack with him to Othalla and they're too busy to get back and let us know what's going on."

"Too busy with _what_? Surely if they could do something they'd be finished by now."

"We don't know what they're doing Sam, if anything. We know Jack was in pretty bad shape. It may take a while."

"But at least they could _tell_ us!" she repeated. She paced around Daniel's living room, something she'd been doing all evening. Daniel wanted to shout at her to sit down but at the same time he sympathized with her. They were all going crazy not knowing what was happening with Jack.

"We must have patience Major Carter" Teal'c finally spoke. "I am certain that Thor knows what he is doing and that he had O'Neill's best interests in mind."

"So, you're not worried?"

"I do not worry, no."

"And you're not anxious to hear what's going on?"

There was silence until finally Teal'c lifted his eyes and looked at her. "I am very anxious. Right now I would like to strangle Thor for not telling us what is happening."

There was more silence until Daniel cracked a laugh. "Teal'c you're as bad as the rest of us, you just hide behind that inscrutable Jaffa face."

His friend nodded solemnly, and then gave a crooked smile.

The three of them had managed to keep going, although it had been difficult. What had been particularly galling was the knowledge that, not only was Samuels running free, he was doing everything he could to track the Colonel down. They all knew that the moment O'Neill returned Samuels would be there, ready and waiting to lock him up.

"I just wish we could find Abel", Daniel grumbled. "We'd have Samuels then."

"Maybe, maybe not", Sam replied. "_If_ Abel is still alive, which I doubt, we don't know if he'd roll over on Samuels or not. He might not even know Samuels."

When Daniel went to object she continued. "Look, Samuels is smart, no matter how much we detest him. He could easily have had this done by a third party and have stayed out of it completely. If he was smart, that's what he would do."

"Yeah, you're probably right. Still, we might be able to connect the dots which might, in turn, lead back to him."

"If only the Colonel could have given us more information." Sam said softly.

* * *

><p>The Colonel could not have given them anything, not in the shape he was in. All the images and faces from that time were mixed up in his mind. He hadn't known reality from drug induced hallucination. The horror of the time spent in captivity had overwhelmed his rational, fact checking mind. Or, at least he'd thought.<p>

As his mind became clearer, and the terror lessened, images started coming back that he was pretty sure were real. It had been difficult at first, because so much was wrapped up with horrible pain and suffering. After a while, however, he was able to pull the memories out, without the fear that usually flooded him. Instead, he was consumed by anger.

One night, after a long and grueling day of physical labor, he'd collapsed back on his narrow bed. He let his mind wander gently over the events of the past few weeks, thinking, with deep affection, of the people he'd gotten to know. Of all the aliens he'd met, he had to say that the Nox were right up there with the Asgard as his favorite, friendly aliens.

Abruptly, with no warning whatsoever, an image flashed into his mind. He could feel his heart start to beat quickly and he broke out in a sweath.

"Samuels!"


	10. Teal'c

"Anteaus, we have done all we can", Trona spoke softly to her friend. The sun had set and O'Neill was asleep but the 7 Nox were still sitting around the big table in the clearing, their faces lit only by the light of the fire.

"Trona is right", Lenaus spoke after a short silence. "If he is to heal any more it will be up to him. He resists us now."

"I know", Anteaus replied. "It does not surprise me. He is a strong and very stubborn. It is what has kept him alive through so much, but also is what holds him back."

"What will we do now?" Mareya looked at her companions, her face tight with worry. "We were entrusted with his care. We know he must yet fulfill that which is prophesized for him but he is not well enough to leave us."

"No, he will not leave us." This time it was Lya who spoke. She looked around the table at her fellow Nox – those who had been sent to guide and to heal the one called O'Neill. These were her brothers and sisters, they were also those with the power of light and life. The 7 formed a circle of power with which they surrounded the human and helped him on the path towards life.

Each night, after O'Neill slept, the Nox would surround his bed and keep him safe and enter his thoughts. They would guide him and help him past the pain and suffering which filled his thoughts. By the time he awoke each day, they were gone and he was none the wiser.

"He will not leave us", she repeated, "but you are correct that we have done all we can. He now needs others to help him."

* * *

><p>"We've got to do <em>something<em> Sir", Daniel was pacing back and forth while the others sat, more calmly - at least outwardly, at the briefing room table. "It's been almost five months and we haven't heard a thing."

"What would you suggest we do, Dr. Jackson? It's not like we can go and see Thor and he's not answering our calls."

"I don't know" Daniel thrust his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Maybe we should contact the Tokra again." He turned quickly to Sam. "Your Dad might be able to help."

"I don't see how Daniel. He can't get in touch with Thor any better than we can. In fact, I suspect the Asgard are more likely to reply to us than to the Tokra."

"There has to be _something_", he said, again. This time no one answered him.

Without warning the claxons sounded and they could hear Walter's voice announcing an unauthorized off-world activation.

"Who the hell could this be", Hammond stood up and strode quickly to the Control room, followed by the three members of SG1.

"Who is it son", Hammond asked Walter.

"I don't know Sir. There's no signal."

"Close the iris."

Walter did as he was told and waited, but still no one signaled. Everyone in the Control room stood, silently watching and waiting.

The gate finished dialing, but nothing happened, although the event horizon remained open behind the iris.

A figure suddenly walked out, directly through that same iris. The guards in the Gate room immediately pointed their weapons at the small figure, who stopped and waited.

"Stand down", Hammond called into the mike. He walked, this time more sedately, down the stairs and into the gate room, SG1 still following behind.

"Lya, welcome", Hammond walked to the bottom of the ramp. Lya walked down and bowed her head slightly.

"General Hammond." She turned to the others. "Samantha Carter, Daniel Jackson, Teal'c, it is good to see you."

"You too Lya", Sam replied. It had been a long while since they'd seen any of the Nox, but she hoped this meant good news. She was pretty sure it must have something to do with Colonel O'Neill.

"What brings you to see us?" The General asked. He too hoped her visit was a positive sign.

"I come to ask a favor", the little woman smiled as she spoke. "May we go somewhere where we can sit and I can explain?"

Once they were all seated again, in the Briefing room, Lya began to speak.

"O'Neill is with us", she said plainly. She could see the look of relief on all the faces of all the Tauri. She smiled gently at the people around the table. She knew they held great love for the man who had been in her care these many months. She knew too she had made the right decision.

"Is he okay?" Daniel asked.

Sam had wanted to be the one to ask, to plead for news of the Colonel, but as always, she was held back by worry over how it would look. She sat cursing herself – wondering if there was ever a time when she would simply allow herself to show her feelings and not be bound by protocol and regulations.

"His outer wounds have been healed and he has come far, but he still has more of his journey ahead." She replied.

"What do you mean?" Finally Sam was able to find her voice.

"He has borne many things and his mind is much aggrieved. We have helped him as we have been able, but now he resists us. He now needs others to help him."

"Others?" Teal'c spoke up.

"Yes, he needs those who love him and who will not be frightened or intimidated by him. He needs those who can hold him to account and who can make him face his demons and destroy them. I come to see if there are any who will come with me to help O'Neill."

All three members of SG1 stood although they said not a word. General Hammond looked like he desperately wanted to stand too, but he knew his place was one earth – as much as he wanted to help O'Neill. No one spoke as Lya looked at each person carefully. It was Teal'c who finally broke the silence.

"We are his friends and brothers", he smiled at Sam, "and his sister. We are ready to go with you."

"You understand that it may be difficult. He will resist your attempt to help him."

"We have no doubt of that", Daniel said, with a small laugh. "We know Jack pretty well."

"We would do anything for him Lya", Sam said. "We – care for the Colonel."

"Care?", Lya said, looking at the young woman in front of her. "You must do more than 'care' for him if you are to help. You must love him."

Sam was sure that all eyes were on her. Now was the time for her to face the truth and to not be afraid to say it. "We do – we have love – we love him – _I_ love him." There, she'd done it. She couldn't help but glance at her companions, especially at the General. Daniel and Teal'c were still looking at Lya, but Hammond was looking at her. He simply smiled and nodded.

She closed her eyes and swallowed. He knew, she realized, he knew. Opening her eyes she looked again at the woman sitting calmly across from her. "We love him Lya and would do anything for him."

"Good, then you must come with me." She stood and turned towards the door.

"Uh Lya, right now?" Daniel asked. "Shouldn't we – get ready or something?"

"No, you have everything you need." She turned back to General Hammond. "With your permission General, I will take these three."

"When will they be back?" Hammond asked.

"That I do not know. It depends on whether O'Neill fights their help, or whether he accepts it."

"But they _will_ be able to help him?"

"That too depends on O'Neill."

Within moments Lya, Teal'c, Daniel and Sam were standing in the Gate room, ready to leave. Sam looked over at the General.

"Bring him home Major."

"We will Sir."

They arrived on the Nox world late in the evening. Sam looked around, remembering the cool, green planet from their one time here. They all moved in behind Lya and followed her into the forest.

"Does he know we're coming?", she asked the Nox woman.

"No, and it is best he does not know", she replied.

"Uh, isn't he going to kind of figure it out when he sees us?" Daniel stopped and looked at his companions. "I don't see how we can hide – at least not Teal'c. He's too big."

"He will be sleeping", she replied.

"Okay – so we're only going to be here one night?"

Lya didn't answer, she just kept leading them through the forest.

The light was beginning to fade and the shadows lengthened. Sam followed the others through the silent emerald wood. She felt enveloped by a sense of peace and - and _rightness_ – as if this place was in total balance, in harmony with nature and the universe. She wondered briefly if this was the Nox' doing, or if this place made the Nox who they were.

"We will arrive shortly", Lya spoke for the first time in a long while. "Each of you will be called upon to travel with O'Neill. It will be difficult, so prepare yourselves."

Each of the three friends looked at each other, feeling the same tremor of fear. Still, they did not hesitate but moved forward, following Lya.

By the time they arrived the sun had gone down and it was dark. They could see the warm glow of a fire and what looked like a number of people sitting at a large table. They approached quietly.

"They were willing to come", Timus stated. "That is good." He turned to the three humans. "You are welcome to our world. We are glad you are here to help O'Neill. He has suffered much but he has also come far. Hopefully you will give him strength to complete his journey."

"That's our hope as well", Daniel spoke to the assembled Nox. There was something about these people that gave him a feeling of confidence. There was a power present that he could not understand, but that he was sure was good. If Jack had been with these people all this time, then he should be okay. "Is he here?" he asked, looking around.

"He is resting in his hut", one of the women indicated a small, rustic cabin over to the side. "He sleeps, but he still dreams many bad things."

"He still has nightmares?" Sam asked.

"Yes." Anteaus stood and walked towards the humans. He smiled at them. "I too bid you welcome. We are glad you are here, but not surprised. O'Neill is someone who inspires loyalty and love. You will need both if you are to help him."

"We're ready to start. Can we go to him now?" It was Daniel, as usual, always impatient to get moving to _do_ something.

"Yes, now is the time for one of you to go to O'Neill. Who shall it be?"

"Just one of us?" Sam didn't like that thought. How would they choose? This time she was going to refuse to stand back, to worry about how it looked. If she had to she'd fight both the men to get a chance to be with the Colonel.

"You will all have your time with him, but only one must enter now. They rest will remain here, to give strength and courage."

"I will go", Teal'c stood tall. He looked over at Daniel and Sam and knew that both of them needed some time to gain peace. He was sure that spending time with the Nox would help them to become calm before they faced the difficult task of seeing O'Neill – and doing whatever it was that was needed to help him.

"Teal'c - ?" Sam reached out and took his arm. "I think –"

"I know Samantha Carter", he said gently, "and you shall have a chance. I believe that I am the one best able to cope at this moment. You need to rest and eat – you must be strong for him."

She nodded and then looked at Daniel. He too wanted to rush in, but he recognized the wisdom in Teal'c's words. Right now, the Jaffa was the best able to handle this calmly – although it was killing him to not be able to rush in to see his friend.

"Then come, Teal'c of Chulak. You will begin the journey." Lya and Anteaus together led Teal'c towards the small hut. Before they arrived they turned to him. "You must be silent so as not to wake him."

He nodded and followed them into the small room.

It was dark – darker than outside – but a shaft of silver moonlight entered through a window at the end of the small bed on which O'Neill lay. It was gently touching his face – illuminating the sharp angles that were Jack O'Neill.

"He looks well", Teal'c whispered sofly. It was true, the Colonel looked rested and fit. He'd filled out and looked strong. His face, however, although healthy looking, still bore the signs of a deep seated tension. Even in sleep he didn't look rested.

"Physically he is very well", Anteaus stepped forward and spoke softly. "He is strong and has spent his days working and walking in the fresh air."

"But his mind - ?" Teal'c asked.

"His mine is fine", Anteaus answered again. "It is his soul that is unwell."

"How can I help him?" Teal'c wanted to go up and touch his friend, to make sure he was alright. He stood back, however, trusting that the Nox knew what they were doing. Surely, if they could bring people back from the dead they must know how to help O'Neill.

"Sit beside him and gently touch him. We will lead you to where you must go. Whatever happens, you must trust us and you must stay with O'Neill." Lya answered.

Teal'c moved over to the small stool placed at the side of the bed. He carefully reached out and laid his hand on O'Neill's arm. The sleeping man turned his head and his lips moved, as if he were trying to speak, but he didn't wake up. After a few seconds he settled back down, although worry lines remained between his eyes.

Teal'c didn't know quite what to expect so he just sat there, waiting to see what was going to happen. It must only have been a short time later when he began to feel sleepy. He tried to stay awake, knowing that the Colonel needed him, but his eyes grew heavy. As he began to drift off he realized that the feeling was similar to what he experienced when entering Kelor'eem.

"Hiya Teal'c, come to visit?" Teal'c started, wondering for a moment where he was. He looked around the small, dark cell but could see nothing of interest. There was a small window up high in one wall, a bucket in the corner, and O'Neill leaning up against one wall. The floor was made of dirt and there was no furniture. His friend looked rather bruised and battered, but he didn't think O'Neill was too badly hurt.

"O'Neill", he acknowledged the other man. "Where are we?"

"Why don't you have a seat and rest for a while Teal'c", the Colonel said, his head back and his eyes closed. He ignored the question.

Teal'c approached him carefully, still not sure what was happening. He moved slowly until he was near the wall and then he slid down, sitting a few feet to one side of O'Neill.

"This does not appear to be a very hospitable place", he said matter of factly.

"No" Jack laughed, although without humor, "it's not the greatest."

"Where are we?", Teal'c asked the Colonel a second time. The situation was very strange, although part of him knew this must be something created by the Nox.

Long minutes dragged by slowly and no one spoke. O'Neill still did not answer. Out of the corner of his eye Teal'c could see him simply staring out into space, seeming not to have heard the question.

"I think you're in my head", the Colonel finally answered, long after Teal'c thought the question would be again ignored.

"In your head, O'Neill?"

"Well, my mind I guess. I don't think this is real. I think I'm either dreaming this, or you are. I kinda hope it's you cause I'm pretty sure I don't like this place."

"It is a prison", Teal'c said, and it was not a question.

"Yeah, that it is Teal'c. Good guess."

Teal'c let the silence continue for a long time before speaking again. "Then it is not my dream O'Neill. I have never been in this prison before."

"No, I guess it's mine then." O'Neill sighed but continued to lean his head back and close his eyes. "In fact, I know it's me. This room and I are good buddies. I spent quite a few months here – a long time ago."

"Do you visit often – in your mind?"

"Hmmm?" Jack asked, surprised at the question. "Yeah, too often, I guess."

"Why do you visit if it is not a place you wish to be?"

"Can't help it." This time the answer was short and sounded angry. "It's not like I have any control over my dreams. They just – come – when they want."

At precisely that moment, Teal'c heard footsteps in the corridor outside the cell. He turned to his friend to ask if he knew who was making the sound. He was startled to see the look of terror on the other man's face.

O'Neill began to breathe quickly, as if he couldn't get enough oxygen for his lungs. A sheen of sweat appeared on his forehead and he pushed himself up against the wall as if trying to disappear into it.

"What is it O'Neill?", he asked. The other man didn't answer.

Just then the door to the cell opened and two guards walked in. Teal'c could see two more standing in the hallway. One of the ones who'd entered the room was carrying a pistol. The other man held manacles.

The two approached the Colonel and one of them spoke sharply in a language Teal'c couldn't understand. Jack obviously did because he shook his head, but all that happened was guard number two reached down and grabbed his arm and pulled him to his feet.

It was only as O'Neill stood that Teal'c was able to see the extent of his injuries. It was very apparent that O'Neill had been hurt much worse than he'd thought. His friend found it extremely difficult to stand – unable, as he was, to put any weight on one leg. He also kept his left arm close to his body on one side and he was bent over slightly

The man with the manacles forced O'Neill's hands behind his back, obviously hurting his prisoner, and placed them on his wrists. What shocked Teal'c was the fact that O'Neill didn't resist. He simply stood and let the guard put manacles on him. The jailor then said something again and Jack walked towards the door.

"O'Neill, you must resist", Teal'c shouted as his friend was lead away.

"Why Teal'c? There's nothing I can do. There's no hope of escape."

"So you simply let them do this to you?"

He looked at Teal'c briefly and then shrugged and moved through the doorway. Teal'c heard them walking for a few seconds and then even that sound was gone.

"Teal'c", a soft voice startled him and he looked to the wall where again, O'Neill was sitting. What had just happened? He looked more closely at his friend and could see further wounds. The man looked ready to pass out and as if he was trying to hold on to consciousness, but was having trouble.

"O'Neill, are you alright?" He stood up and walked quickly over to his friend and squatted down beside him. He'd been right. He had more wounds than he'd had a few minutes ago.

"Glad you're still here Teal'c", the voice was so low Teal'c could barely hear it.

"I will remain with you O'Neill, until you no longer need me."

"Yeah? That's nice", the Colonel coughed. "Daniel said something similar once."

Teal'c just nodded and watched his friend. He wished there was something he could do but he was pretty sure it wouldn't be allowed by whoever was arranging this thing. He was also pretty sure no one but Jack could see him. "Are you going to be okay, my friend", he finally asked.

"Oh, you know. I'll be fine. I got through this okay the last time and this – it's just a dream so no harm done."

"It appears as if you're in pain."

"Yeah, but it's all in my mind", the Colonel laughed. "Yup – all in my mind."

Teal'c wasn't sure how much time passed then, but it seemed to be a few short minutes. He heard the cell door open again – and again in walked the guards. The same thing transpired, but O'Neill was obviously even more damaged. He still did not resist, he simply allowed himself to be taken away.

"You must fight them O'Neill", he called after his friend, but this time O'Neill didn't even turn around.

"You're still here Teal'c."

Teal'c stared at his friend in wonder and then looked around. They were in a completely different place than before and he hadn't even noticed the change. This time they were in some kind of cell, with high walls. The entrance appeared to be in the ceiling. Looking O'Neill over closely, he saw that the man's shirt was torn and had numerous holes in it, but he didn't appear wounded.

"I am still here", he finally answered. "I said I would remain."

"Yeah – well you just missed Daniel. He's sticking around too."

"Where are we?" Teal'c looked around but could see no way out."

"I'm here visiting Bocce Ball, my least favorite Goa'uld in the entire universe."

"You are with Ba'al?" Teal'c asked, shocked and worried.

"Yup. Been here a while. The lovely Tokra Kanan brought us here – without my permission, I might add."

"But this is not real. You escaped from Ba'al over a year ago. You made it back to earth."

"Yeah – I guess we're back in my mind then. You sure you want to be here Teal'c?"

Just then guards appeared up top and Jack immediately braced himself. "I'd be careful big guy, this room's about to turn." O'Neill spoke with little emotion and Teal'c knew he was at his breaking point. He remembered the shape the Colonel had been in when he returned over a year ago from his little 'vacation', as he himself called it. It was not a pleasant memory.

For the third time Teal'c watched as O'Neill was led away, unresisting. Teal'c could not understand why this was. If O'Neill knew it was a dream, why didn't he do something about it?"

"You see Daniel?" O'Neill was lying down on the floor of the cell, staring straight upward.

"No, I have not seen him since I have been here."

"No? Too bad. It was nice to see him again, even if he refused to do anything."

"He could not O'Neill. Not while ascended."

"No? I would have done something! But Daniel and I already had this chat." O'Neill sat up and put his legs underneath him. "Okay, so how about you telling me why you're here."

"I am here to help you O'Neill." He replied. He wasn't surprised to see the skeptical lift of the other man's eyebrow.

"Really? How?"

"I believe I must urge you to fight."

"To fight? I somehow don't see how that helps Teal'c. I've pretty much been fighting my whole life and look where it's got me", he gestured at the cell around him. "The Nox here – have you met them Teal'c? They're a pretty cool bunch. Anyway, the Nox have tried to convince me to take the peaceful road and to quit fighting and now you're back to tell me the opposite!"

The cell turned and Teal'c found himself crashing to the floor. Neither man had seen the guards appear.

"O'Neill, you must resist them. This is _your _ dream, _your _mind. You do not need to continue this or to go with them."

For a brief moment Jack stopped and turned towards Teal'c. The guards had advanced and had taken his arms. He frowned at his friend, considering what he had said. Could he-"?

"Sorry big guy", he spoke quietly as he was drawn forward. "I don't think I'd stand a chance against these guys. They're _big!_"

"Teal'c, you've got to leave! You can't be here any longer."

O'Neill was standing in a driveway, a pretty white house in the background.

Teal'c glanced around, trying to figure out where he was. This did not look like something that would be in O'Neill's nightmare. Maybe this was a pleasant memory.

Just then he noticed a baseball glove lying in the grass, and a bicycle leaning up against the side of the house. His heart stopped - and he knew what this place was.

"O'Neill, you must leave now. You must not stay. Stop this."

His friend looked white - and sick. He knew, Teal'c realized. He'd lived this too many times not to know what was to come. Still, he slowly moved forward towards the house. "I can't Teal'c, he whispered. "I tried and I can't."

Teal'c stood there as O'Neill turned the corner. A few short minutes later and he heard a shot. He closed his eyes, his heart in his throat.

"Teal'c leave. You shouldn't be here." O'Neill was again standing in his driveway, a look of utter despair on his face.

"My friend", Teal'c walked up and grasped his arm. "This is not good. You must not stay. Come with me away from here." He gently pulled O'Neill's arm. For a moment his friend followed, but then he pulled away.

"No, I have to go."

"Why? Why do you have to go? This does nothing but bring you pain, and serves no purpose."

There was silence and then Jack turned to him slowly. "But you see Teal'c, I deserve it. I deserve the pain." With that he turned and headed around the corner.

Another shot disturbed the warm, summer day.

As the scene continued Teal'c too began to feel despair. He did not know what to do to stop this. He understood, at a very deep level, the guilt that his friend felt, and would always feel. Still, this constant reliving of this moment would serve nothing and he knew it had to end. This time he was not going to let O'Neill relive it.

"Teal'c, please go. This does nothing. You're not helping."

"I will not leave O'Neill, not until you understand that you can stop this. Reliving the pain does nothing - it does not honor your son."

At this the other man stopped and turned and faced him, fury in his face. "What right do you have to say that? Who do you think you are?"

"I am your friend, and one who understands guilt and honor. This does nothing. If you wish to make amends for what you believe you have done, you will take actions that bring honor to your name and that of your son. Reliving his death does not do this. Do you really believe he would wish you to relive this pain again and again?"

Jack still looked like he was ready to reach out and pummel the bigger man but after a moment Teal'c could see him begin to calm down.

"You would have me just walk away?" he finally said.

"From this? Yes. That does not mean I would have you walk away from what happened or from where it has brought you. There is nothing anyone can say that will take away the pain, or your belief that you were at fault. What I can do is help you to see that this serves no purpose.

Another few moment and Jack nodded, just once. "Okay - let's leave." He paused briefly and took once last look at what had been his home -where he and Sara and Charlie had spent so many happy years. He then turned his back and began walking, Teal'c at his side.

Teal'c looked around again, beginning to find the transitions less disorienting. This time he was back in another cell, but this one was made of cement and there was a toilet in one corner. Other than that, there was a rough, thin blanket – and nothing else.

"Please, you have to go." O'Neill sounded frightened. He was cowering in the corner with the blanket wrapped around him. Teal'c realized the O'Neill was acting the same way he'd acted after returning from his kidnapping.

"I cannot go", he walked calmly towards the Colonel. "I will stay until this is finished. "

"No Teal'c, why won't you listen to me. You have to go – I don't want -"

"What do you not want, O'Neill?"

"I – I don't want -", the Colonel stopped and shook his head.

"What O'Neill? What is it?"

"I don't want you to see me – to see what they're doing to me", he cried. He pulled the blanket over his head until he could no longer look at his friend.

"There is nothing to be ashamed of O'Neill. You were captured and hurt – but now you are free. You no longer need to bear this – to wait for these men. You must resist and stop them – stop this."

"I can't Teal'c – I can't." O'Neill was practically whimpering.

"Yes my friend, you can. You are stronger than this! You do not need to relive such times. You were at the mercy of evil men but they are not here, it is only you – and you are strong!"

"I'm not, I'm not."

Teal'c was terribly disturbed, never having heard his friend speak like this. He knew he was privy to something very private and knew it was something about which he'd never speak. Still, he had to do something.

He walked over and stood looking sternly down at his friend. "You will not be a coward O'Neill! You are stronger than this and there is no need to let yourself be hurt and abused any longer. The men are not here, the room is not here. You are free and you are safe. To let them control your mind is to lose the fight – to let them win. Do not let them win, O'Neill. Resist them and cast them out. They have no power here."

O'Neill began to rock back in forth, still covered with the blanket. Teal'c reached out to touch him, to encourage him. He was shocked when O'Neill suddenly growled – and threw himself at the larger man.

For the next few minutes Teal'c had to fight off an enraged Colonel. He was stronger, but only slightly, the rage giving O'Neill an added strength. The biggest problem, however, was that he really didn't want to hurt the other man.

A couple of times O'Neill got the upper hand, but eventually Teal'c was able to trap him and hold him down. "Enough", he said sternly. "Why do you try and hurt me?" he asked his brother.

"Wanted to show - you", he panted, "not a coward."

"Oh, you are not a coward with me O'Neill, because you know I am your friend. You are, however, a coward with these men. Tell them to be gone and to leave you alone!"

Jack continued to pant for a while until he got his breath back. Although he didn't appear to be thinking, Teal'c's words did hold meaning for him. The problem was, he really didn't know how to get rid of this fantasy world that lived in his mind.

"They are coming, O'Neill", Teal'c spoke softly. Jack listened and sure enough, there was the sound of those men, coming to take him back to the room. Without thought he pushed himself deeper into the corner.

"No", he breathed, "don't let them take me Teal'c. They'll hurt me – they keep hurting me and I can't take it anymore."

"They are not real O'Neill, you must remember that. They are not real."

That may be true, thought the Colonel, but to him they were real – and he was powerless against them. He knew they'd take him and tie him to the metal table in the room – and they'd begin to question him. Each day they used different methods, and all of them were painful.

A few times he'd wondered if they'd gone too far and he was going to die. Unfortunately, that hadn't happened. His two inquisitors were experts. They knew how to give maximum pain without inflicting permanent damage.

"I can't stop them", he cried. He jerked in fear as the door was unlocked and as footsteps approached. "Hello baby", one of the voices said. "You hiding under your blanky?"

Teal'c wanted to stand up and slowly kill the speaker. He was ridiculing one of the best – most brillian warriors it had ever been Teal'c's honor to serve. The worst part of it for Teal'c was to see how terrified O'Neill was and, rather than stand up to the man, how he hunched down even farther under his blanket.

"Come on O'Neill", the man said, "time to go have some more fun. I have a few new toys I think you'll like. I don't _think_ they'll do lasting damage, but you never know."

This time, when he was finished speaking, the man leaned down and tried to pull O'Neill to a standing position. The Colonel eventually followed, although at first he resisted by not cooperating. It was the appearance of an electric rod, held by the other man, that got him moving. Teal'c wasn't sure what it was, but it obviously frightened the Colonel.

As they drew O'Neill away, protesting in a quiet and quavering voice, Teal'c called out, one more time. "You can stop this O'Neill! Resist them, they are not real."

There was no sound at all from the corridor and Teal'c prepared himself to meet his friend again at any moment as the circle continued. He was surprised then when that didn't happen. He was even more surprised to hear a yell and the loud sounds of a struggle in the hallway.

"That is it O'Neill", Teal'c stood up and walked to the door – but couldn't open it since he was just part of a dream. "You must now 'kick some Goa'uld butt'!" Teal'c found himself channeling O'Neill!

It was a short time later, after the noises had stopped, that Jack suddenly appeared back in the cell. This time he was grinning! He walked over to his friend and held out his hand. When Teal'c took it Jack pulled him forward and gave him a hug. "Thanks buddy."

"What did you do O'Neill?" he asked.

"I did what you said. I decided this was crazy. Since it's my mind why should I be letting these guys keep torturing me. I bashed their heads together, I'm afraid." He grinned again.

"That is good O'Neill." He grinned in return.

"Yeah, unfortunately it's only in _my_ head. I can't wait to do it for real."

"You will have that chance, I am sure of it." Teal'c answered.

"Yeah – well even if I don't, I'm glad I had this chance." He stopped and looked down for a moment. Finally he took a deep, cleansing breath, and looked up at his friend. "Thank you Teal'c. I don't know why I let all these things get to me. I should have stopped these dreams a long time ago."

"It is not easy to see the path for oneself", Teal'c answered. "Sometimes it takes someone who – loves you – to see the way."

"Uh – yeah – okay", O'Neill was clearly embarrassed, but also was feeling freer than he had in a while. "Back atcha Teal'c!"

Teal'c grinned and reached out again. The moment his hand touched O'Neill he found himself sitting on the stool, beside a sleeping Colonel. He lifted his head to find Anteaus standing in the doorway of the hut.

"You did well my friend", the Nox said to him. "Now, we must let him rest before his journey continues."


	11. Daniel

"What happened Teal'c?" Daniel stood up as his friend walked out of Jack's cabin, followed closely by Anteaus.

"O'Neill is well", was all he said.

Sam realized that Teal'c looked tired – exhausted. It was something she rarely saw on the big man. He was seemingly indefatigable but this time he looked as if he needed to lie down and sleep for a month. "Are you okay?" she asked quietly. She walked up to him and put her hand on his arm. She was surprised, and not a little worried, when he covered her hand with his and squeezed. From the look of him he could barely speak. "Teal'c? Are you okay?", she asked again.

"I am fine Major Carter. I am simply tired."

"But what happened?" Daniel frowned, also concerned.

"It was my honor to help O'Neill", the Jaffa answered. "As to what transpired, that is only for O'Neill to say. I cannot betray the trust he has in me by revealing what occurred."

"But he's okay?" Sam asked.

"He is fine."

"Teal'c was able to do much to help O'Neill", Anteaus spoke for the first time. "But more is needed." He looked at both Daniel and Sam, who stood quietly. Finally, his eyes remained on Dr. Jackson. "Daniel, come. It is now time for you to help your friend." He then turned back to an anxious looking Sam. "Do not worry, your time will come."

She nodded, on the verge of tears, and watched as Daniel was led into the small building. When he was gone she turned back to Teal'c. "Come on Teal'c, let's get you to a bed. I think you need to sleep."

"That would be good Major Carter, but do you not need me to stay with you?"

"No that's okay. I have Lya and the others and I'm in no danger. I will just sit quietly until Daniel is done."

Teal'c turned and faced Sam and put his hands on her arms. "You must not worry Samantha. All will be well. O'Neill will be fine."

"I hope so Teal'c – I just – he's been through so much. I just want him to find peace."

"He will – we will make sure."

"Will he let us help him?"

"He let me." He suddenly smiled. "Although I was tempted to knock his head against a wall. He is very stubborn."

She laughed. "You can say that again!"

"Do not let him intimidate you Major Carter. He will try but you must be strong. It is what he needs."

"Thank you Teal'c", she reached up and kissed him on the cheek. "Now get to sleep!" She watched as he was led to one of the small buildings by Mareya.

* * *

><p>Daniel was nervous. He wasn't quite sure what he would find and was therefore surprised to see Jack simply lying, asleep, on a small cot. He had to grin when he saw that the Colonel's feet were hanging over the edge. Still, it didn't seem to bother him as his friend appeared sound asleep.<p>

Like Teal'c, he noticed how well Jack look compared to the last time he had seen him. He looked tanned and his face had filled out and no longer looked half starved. He also noticed, as had Teal'c, that Jack looked far from relaxed. Mind you, he thought, Jack hardly ever looked relaxed. Maybe when he was fishing or watching the Simpsons – otherwise he always looked as if something dark lived inside of him.

"I guess it does", he spoke quietly, not wanting to disturb the Colonel. Daniel thought of all that had happened to his friend and marveled that he hadn't cracked before. It really was no wonder he was in the shape he was. He'd had just one thing too many to face!

"Sit beside him", Anteaus said softly and pointed to the stool.

"What am I supposed to do?" Daniel asked as he walked over and sat down.

"Simply touch your friend and relax."

"That's it? How is that supposed to help him?" When the Nox didn't answer Daniel grimaced but reached out and put his hand carefully on Jack's shoulder. Just as before, O'Neill moved slightly and turned towards Daniel, but he didn't awaken.

Daniel sat as still as he was able, although he wanted to squirm. He really wondered what all this was about, although Teal'c had seemed to indicate something had happened. He just wished he knew what to expect.

He found himself growing sleepy and tried to keep his eyes open. The last thing he needed was to fall asleep! Come on Jackson, he said to himself, stay awa -!

"GET DOWN DANIEL!" he heard a shout from a point at about 10 o'clock. He looked around wildly, hearing the sound of staff weapons firing.

"Wha -?"

"GET DOWN YOU IDIOT!"

Finally, Jack's voice registered and he threw himself to the ground, just as a staff blast flew past where he'd been standing and hit the tree in front of him.

What the hell was going on, he wondered. Where was he? One minute he'd been in a hut, falling asleep, and the next he was in the middle of a battle.

"I'll cover you Daniel. Make a run for the gate." It was Jack's voice again.

Daniel slowly lifted his head and peered over to where Jack was standing, firing his weapon. Of Teal'c and Carter there was no sign.

"Move it Jackson!" Jack shouted as he continued to spray bullets towards the advancing Jaffa.

Daniel finally pulled his wits together and stood. He began to run towards the Stargate, which he could see in the distance. He kept low to the ground and weaved in and out of the trees.

As he ran, he continued to hear the sounds of Jack's gun and the Jaffa's staff weapons. He finally made it to the DHD and frantically began to dial out. When the event horizon appeared he turned and shouted. "Come on Jack, the gate's open."

"Go Daniel."

"Not without you Jack."

"Damn it Daniel, get the hell out of here!" Jack continued to fire although Daniel could see some of the Jaffa beginning to move forward. There was no way Jack could get all of them.

Daniel looked around frantically, realizing he had no weapon. He was faced with a terrible dilemma – did he stay or go? He stepped back from the DHD, deciding that there was no way he'd let Jack stay on his own. If he'd learned anything, it was that no one got left behind.

"For God's sake Daniel, go! I can't hold them much longer."

"I'm not leaving you Jack."

"Yes you are! You can go and get help. Just go. There's nothing you can do here but get killed and I refuse to lose my one and only archaeologist, linguist and best friend. Now GO!"

Daniel took one more look and realized there really was nothing he could do. Jack's one and only chance was if he brought back help. He gave one last look and then ran towards the event horizon. He turned around, to check on Jack, just as he was about to go through. The last thing he saw, as his momentum pushed him through the stargate, was Jack getting hit square in the chest with a staff blast. Daniel knew he could not survive such a wound.

"NOOOOOOOO!" What the hell just happened? He came to help Jack, not to watch him die.

"Jackson, get a move on or we're gonna be toast!"

It was Jack's voice! Daniel looked around wildly, trying to figure out what was happening. Jack was ahead of him, slightly, and was moving through the dense underbrush. He was also limping, badly, and his jacket was torn and bloody.

"Get moving Daniel!" The Colonel repeated. Daniel could hear the weakness in his friend's voice. He hurried up beside him.

"What happened Jack. I thought you were dead."

O'Neill looked at him in concern. "You thought I was - ? What? I just fell Daniel, you saw that. It wasn't that bad."

"No? Then why are you bleeding?"

Jack looked down at his side and shrugged. "It's just a flesh wound – nothing serious."

"And the limp?"

"What is this? Twenty questions? I _fell_ Daniel. I'm bruised and I twisted my knee but I'm fine. Now can we please stop talking and get moving. They'll find us if we don't hurry."

"Who'll find us?"

Jack stopped and looked at his friend, a worried expression on his face. "Are you sure _you_ didn't fall on your _head_ maybe? The damn villagers, that's who."

"Villagers?"

"Yeah, you know the ones that think we committed sacrilege by coming through the gate? The ones that want to eat us for supper? Those villagers."

"Eat - ? You mean they're _cannibals_?"

"Yes Daniel – they're cannibals. And they decided that a nice juicy archaeologist would be perfect for supper. They figured I'd be too tough. So, can we quit the chit chat and get going?"

Daniel fell in beside Jack and continued to walk. He was starting to have an idea that maybe this wasn't real. Somehow the Nox – or Jack for all he knew – were creating these scenarios. Why, he didn't know yet – but he hoped to find out soon.

"Jack, I know you think I'm crazy, but – could you tell me where we are exactly? And where are Teal'c and Sam?"

Jack glanced at him out of the corner of his eye and didn't say anything for a few moments. Eventually he sighed and then took a deep breath. "Teal'c and Sam aren't supposed to be here. It's your turn."

"_My turn_?"

"Yeah." Jack walked – or rather limped – a few more feet before he spoke. "I –uh- kind of think this isn't real Danny", he finally said.

"No, I was beginning to gather that. Why are we here then?"

"I don't know", Jack answered, frustration in his voice. "All I know is I don't want you to get eaten, so let's keep going."

"What about you?"

"What _about_ me?"

"Do you want to get eaten?"

Jack gave him a disgusted look but kept on walking. The day was growing dark and Daniel had no idea where they were going, or how long it would take to get there. He assumed they were headed to the stargate, but for all he knew they were headed somewhere else entirely.

The shout, when it came, was a lot closer than either of them would have wished.

"Crap!" Jack muttered. "I thought we'd lost them."

"What do we do now?" Daniel looked to his battered friend. With his twisted knee Jack was not able to move quickly.

"_We_ don't do anything. _You_ on the other hand, run like hell to the gate. I'll stay and distract them."

"And then what?"

"Huh?"

"You'll distract them and then what? You'll stay for supper?"

"Daniel, just get going, okay. I'll cover you."

"No Jack, that's not the way it's going down. Not this time." He grabbed his friend's arm and draped it over his shoulder and began to walk more quickly. They could both hear the sounds of the natives getting closer.

"Daniel, what the hell do you think you're doing? I'm the leader of this little band and I'm giving you an order!"

"No you're not", Daniel answered calmly. "You always decide that you're dispensable and the rest of us aren't. Well, I hate to tell you this Jack, but you're just as important as the rest of us and I'm not leaving you here to become Sushi – so move your ass!"

They struggled through the forest, as quickly as they could. Daniel was pretty sure they weren't going to make it, although he'd give it his best shot. If he could get Jack to the gate they'd have a chance. Jack could use his weapon while he dialed out.

"Daniel", Jack said softly. "I'm not worth it. Please, just go and leave me."

"What? You're not worth it? Of course you are Jack, don't be an idiot."

"I'm not. Look, you have lots ahead of you. You're smart and young – don't throw that away."

"And what about you?" Daniel panted. He was getting tired as he bore some of O'Neill's weight.

"I'm neither smart nor young", the Colonel answered.

"Oh bullshit Jack! You're one of the smartest people I know, no matter how hard you try and pretend otherwise. And you may be older than me, but you have a lot of life left so don't throw it away, okay? Just move your butt and let's get out of here."

"No Daniel." Jack stopped and refused to move. "You go. I'll never forgive myself if something happens to you."

"And how do you think I'll feel if you stay and get killed to save my ass?"

"I hope you'll spend your life proving that I was right and that my death was worth it."

"_Jack!"_ Daniel said in despair. He closed his eyes, trying desperately to think of something that would get his friend to move, to try and save himself. When he opened them again he realized, in shock and horror, that he was desperately holding onto the side of a cliff.

"What the –"

"Be careful Daniel! You almost lost your grip." O'Neill's voice came floating up to him from below.

He wanted to look down but was terrified of what he'd see – or whether he could even hold on. Where the hell were they now? The one good thing he thought, as he hung on for dear life, was at least he didn't have to experience being eaten!

"Get moving Daniel." Jack's voice sounded strange, Daniel suddenly realized. He sounded – off – somehow.

"Jack, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, now will you move it. I don't want to spend all day just hanging here."

Daniel searched until he found a likely hand hold and began to climb. It was rough, and he was terrified, but he didn't really have any choice. He thanked his lucky stars, though, that Jack had forced him to take a climbing course, telling him that it might come in handy some day.

Well, today was that day! The only thing was that Daniel had never done this without a harness and ropes. He hadn't looked too closely but he figured he was doing this without those items. He just wished he knew where he was!

The moment that thought hit him he changed his mind. No, it didn't matter where he was. He was pretty sure this was just another little scene dreamed up by the Nox – or by Jack. It was starting to dawn on him what this was about.

"Jack?" he shouted.

"Yeah", a soft grunt. There was something definitely wrong.

"You're going to make it right?"

"Hmmm"

"Jack? You hang on, okay?"

"Don't – think – I can – Daniel." Jack's voice was growing weaker.

"Damn it, you'd better!" Daniel stopped and steadied himself. He made sure his hold was as secure as possible and then carefully looked down. About 5 feet below him was the Colonel and he looked a mess.

His hair was matted with blood and Daniel was pretty sure he could see evidence of other wounds on his friend. He was struggling to move but it was becoming increasingly obvious that he was having difficulty climbing.

"Go – ahead", Jack gasped out. "Leave me – can't make it."

"Oh no Jack, I'm not leaving you. You hang on there and I'm going to get you up even if I have to carry you."

"Kind of hard", the Colonel gasped out a laugh.

"Yeah, well you know what they say?"

"No – what?"

"He ain't heavy,he's my brother." He heard a snort from below. "Okay, bad, I know - but you get the point." He knew his friend was likely to let go if he thought he'd be a burden so Daniel had to do some quick thinking.

"Jack, I want you to listen to me carefully. I'm going to climb up the rest of the way and then I'm getting a rope. I want you to hold on until I can toss it down and then I want you to tie it around yourself and I'll pull you up, okay."

"No", his friend gasped. "No time. They're – coming Daniel. You have to – leave."

"Jack, you listen. I am NOT going to leave, do you hear me? You are too important to me and if I have to I will stay here until whoever comes. You will hang on, do you hear me? " As he was speaking Daniel was moving up the face of the rock. He'd seen the top and was sure he could make it. All he had to do was get Jack to hold on.

"Danny – I can't – hold on anymore!"

"Yes. You. Can!" he shouted. "Jack, if you let go, my life will never be the same. Nor will Teal'c's or Sam's. Don't you know how important you are to us Jack? You're our family – no, you're more than that. You're the person who saved each of us – who gave us purpose and meaning. You led Teal'c to freedom, not just for himself, but for his people. Sam – you gave her confidence and made her the officer she is today. You taught her that's she's more than just a 'brain' – she's a leader and a soldier and a damn fine woman. And me – Jack you gave me your friendship and trust. You made me believe that I am lovable – that _I'm_ more than the geek. That I matter and that there's someone who cares whether I live or die. Don't leave us Jack."

At that moment Daniel reached the top of the cliff and pulled himself up and over. He needed time to breath, to rest, to regain his equilibrium – but he didn't have time. Without a pause he turned and leaned over the edge and saw Jack, literally hanging by a thread.

"You hold on, you hear me O'Neill! If you fall and die I'll come after you and you'll never have any peace in the afterlife!"

"Daniel." Jack's voice was so faint he could barely hear it. "Daniel, I don't want you to die. They'll be here soon!"

"So? If I get you up here we can both be waiting for them and we'll kick their asses together!" Daniel was frantically looking around while he spoke. He was not surprised to find a coiled rope waiting for him close by. He figured that was part of the whole scenario.

"I'm sending the rope down Jack, just hold on."

"Danny – don't – know how long – I can – hold on."

"Don't you dare let go Jack. I'm not going to lose you."

Daniel looped the rope and tied it so it would act as a harness. He then tied one end around a nearby tree and began to lower it down. In the distance he could hear the sound of someone approaching. He really wished that these little scenes didn't always have someone trying to kill them!

"Here you go Jack, it's coming down." He watched carefully until it reached his friend. Jack lay against the side of the cliff, holding on for dear life. Even from this distance Daniel could see that his knuckles were white with strain.

"Okay, carefully try and work the rope around yourself and I'll haul you up."

"This isn't going to -"

"Damn it Jack, shut the hell up and just do it! For once can't you just try and look out for yourself!"

There was silence and then Daniel saw a very small, slow movement. Jack was trying to reach out and grab the rope.

"That's it Jack", he said softly, not wanting to startle the man. "A bit to your right", he instructed.

It seemed to take forever, but finally Jack had the rope around his legs and waist. He looked up and gave a small grin. "Okay Jackson, I'm all yours!"

Daniel grinned back down and slowly began to haul his friend up. It was tough going as Jack was no light weight. He was also exhausted and hurt and couldn't really help. He was almost near the top when Daniel could see his eyes roll back in his head and he passed out.

He pulled his friend up and laid him down and quickly checked him over. Just as he thought, Jack had what looked like a serious stab wound in his side which was still bleeding. On top of that he'd received a head wound which had also bled terribly. Hopefully that wasn't too serious, thought Daniel.

"Danny?" Jack's eyes opened and he looked blearily up at his friend.

"Yes Jack?"

"Thanks!"

"You're welcome, now let's move it!" Together the two friends made it to the gate, just as a horde of savage men arrived with spears and knives.

"Here", Jack handed him a beer and sat in the deck chair beside him. Daniel looked around and recognized Jack's back yard.

"We're not being chased by anyone here are we?" he asked his friend.

"No", Jack laughed. "No Jaffa, cannibals or savages here – at least none that I've seen recently. My lawn guy is kinda scary but I don't think he plans to shoot me anytime soon!"

"Jack?"

"Yeah?" Jack turned his head and looked at him.

"Where are we?"

"Kinda looks like my backyard Daniel."

"Jack!"

The older man sighed. "I think you're inside my head Daniel."

"In your _head_?"

"Yeah – or my dreams or whatever. I'm pretty sure this isn't real."

"I kind of gathered that although it certainly felt real when we were hanging from that cliff."

"Yeah, can't say that was the most fun I've ever had." O'Neill went to stand up. "Another beer Daniel?"

"Jack, sit down."

The Colonel raised his eyebrow but sat down and looked at the other man.

"Do you know what all that was about?"

O'Neill sighed again. "Kinda", he replied.

"So, tell me." Daniel pushed his friend, knowing that this would be hard for him.

"I – well – I guess I kinda, sometimes don't – hell Daniel, do we have to do this?"

"I think this was sort of the whole point, don't you?"

"Maybe", Jack said under his breath. Daniel wanted to laugh – he sounded like a sulky boy who's learned his lesson, but doesn't want to admit it.

"Jack look, ever since I've known you you've looked after me. In fact, you've looked after all of us – me, Teal'c, Sam – hell, half the people in the universe have you to thank for saving their lives at one time or another. The problem is, you're willing to save others and yet you don't think you deserve the same chances you give everyone else."

"Daniel, I don't try to kill myself you know. I haven't been suicidal since – well, you know."

"I know Jack, and I'm not accusing you of that. I'm just saying that you're always willing to sacrifice yourself but you truly don't understand how much you mean to us, how hard it would be for us to lose you! We care for you Jack – you're our family – and we don't want you to throw your life away. You have to take better care of yourself, for us. And, you have to let us help you when you need it. You seem to think that we shouldn't, that you're not worth it – but you're wrong. You are _so_ worth it!"

Jack sat silently and simply stared at his friend. He swallowed convulsively, not able to speak or to respond. He finally closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Daniel, you and Sam – you're brilliant and still have so much ahead of you– you have so much to give. Teal'c, well, he's the savior of his people – their hope for freedom. Me, I'm just an old soldier – one who's screwed up just about everything. I'm really not worth it you know!"

"You idiot!" Daniel shouted, standing up. "Do you care so little for our opinions, for our feelings, that you discount how much you mean to us. God Jack, none of us would know what to do without you."

"Daniel, you'd just go on. You'd do fine."

"Maybe we would Jack, but it wouldn't be the same. There'd be a huge hole in our lives that had the shape of one Jack O'Neill."

"I'm not worth this Daniel."

"Yes – yes you are. You say you've screwed up? Well, welcome to the human race. But you've also made a difference, a big difference in all our lives. You have to believe that – you have to know how much we love you Jack. Please, if not for your own, at least for us – value yourself. Know that you are a good man – one of the best. And please, look after yourself and don't be so willing always to give up."

Jack finally leaned back in his chair, his eyes straight ahead. Daniel knew he wasn't really seeing all that was around him – instead his friend was looking inward. He just hoped that he was liking what he saw.

"So", his friend finally spoke after a long time, "you really think I'm okay?"

"Hell yes Jack, more than okay."

"And the next time we get chased by Jaffa -"

"You'll run like hell."

"Mmmm", he replied, obviously still thinking.

"And if we get chased by cannibals" Jack said a while later, "_you'll_ agree to stay for dinner?" Jack looked at him and grinned. Daniel couldn't help but laugh at the mischievous expression on his friends face.

"Yeah, okay, I'll stay – but you have to promise to bring the wine!"

"I prefer beer."

"Okay Jack – you can bring the beer."

The two friends sat back, enjoying the rest of the afternoon. Daniel glanced at his friend and was happy to see the tranquil expression on his face. He was pretty sure Jack had learned something valuable this day – or night – or whenever it was.

"It's okay Danny", Jack said, not looking at him. "You did good."


	12. Carter

"He will be fine Major Carter." Lya came and sat beside her and put her hand over Sam's. The other Nox all looked like they were concentrating on something but Lya seemed ready to talk to her.

"Are you sure Lya? He's been through so much."

"It has been difficult for him but with your help, and that of your friends, he is already well on the way to finding peace."

"Why are you doing this?" Sam faced the little Nox woman. "Is it because Thor asked you or is there some other reason?" She had been wondering this for a while – as soon as she realized how hard they were all working to help the Colonel.

The woman beside her smiled gently. "The Nox and Asgard have been allies and friends for many years. We would never think to ignore a request from them. But no, that is not the only reason we have been helping Jack O'Neill." Lya moved away slightly and folded her hands together. "This is not something we would normally have told you, but you have a right to know."

Sam listened intently, knowing that something was about to be shared with her that might be terribly important for her people.

"Many years ago a prophet appeared – he came to us from where we know not. He foretold that one day, in the distant future, a man – a Tauri – would appear who would hold the world's future in his hands. Through his actions peace would again come to our galaxy. He would lead us into a new age – away from the domination of the Goa'uld and other races seeking power. Instead, through him, we would return to a golden age of learning and building."

"And you think this man is _Colonel O'Neill?_" Sam didn't want to sound skeptical – hell, she thought more of the Colonel than just about anyone, but somehow she just didn't see him as the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

"We do not know for sure." Lya smiled and stood up. "Thor was the first to believe that O'Neill is the one in the prophecy and as we have watched him, over the years, we have all come to believe it could be him. For this reason we guard him and help him. If he does not regain his health then the future may be in danger."

"If it is him, what is he supposed to _do_?" Sam asked. "How is he to save the world?"

"That I cannot tell you Samantha. For that you will have to wait and see. All I know is that – even he is not the one of whom the prophet spoke - he has an important destiny – as do you."

"Wha -" Before she had a chance to continue she saw Daniel and Anteaus come into the clearing.

"Daniel?" she stood up and walked to her friend. Like Teal'c, he looked exhausted.

"Is everything okay? Is the Colonel all right?"

"He's fine Sam. As for me – well, that's the last cliff I want to climb for a while!"

"Cliff?" she asked, confused.

"Forget it", he laughed softly. "It was just quite a ride – and now it's your turn."

"I'm frightened Daniel", she answered. "What if I mess up? How can I possibly help him?"

Daniel walked over and gave her a big hug. "It'll be alright Sam. As for helping him – just be yourself - and don't take any of his crap!"

She laughed nervously and returned his hug.

"You really will be fine Sam, I promise, and so will Jack. Just go to him."

With a nod she gave him a final hug. "You go rest Daniel and – thank you."

As she sat beside the Colonel's small cot she prayed that Daniel was right. She wanted to help him so much but was afraid she wouldn't be able to. Her relationship with O'Neill was so strange – so covered with layers of friendship and caring and duty and respect – all with a hidden core of feelings which neither could admit to nor reveal.

She reached out slowly but her hand stopped before touching him. She looked back to Lya, who nodded and smiled. "You must touch him Samantha."

She almost expected to feel something – something other than his flesh – when she laid her hand on his arm, but there was nothing more than the warmth of his skin. She then sat quietly and looked at the man who was so much a part of her life. He looked calm and relaxed in sleep and so much younger than he had the last time she had seen him. She so hoped he would soon be well.

The next moment she was somewhere else, but where was it? It was familiar, she'd been here, but it was also wrong. A second ago she was sitting with the Colonel and now, she looked around, now she was sitting, her back against the bulkhead of the Prometheus. What the hell was happening?

"Hey Carter, you better get that brain in gear and get yourself outta here."

She turned her head to see the Colonel sitting beside her. He was dressed in casual clothes – the same ones he'd been wearing during her previous hallucination on the Prometheus.

"Sir!"

"Yeah Carter, it's me. Now, are you going to just sit around or are you going to save yourself?"

Blinking, she kept looking at the man beside her, not sure what to make of the whole thing. She watched as the Colonel tilted his head and raised his eyebrow at her. A small grin appeared on his face. "Uh Carter, whatcha doin'?"

"Sir – I don't think this is about saving me", she finally managed to get out. "I – uh kind of think this is about you."

"About me? I'm not the one trapped on a ship in space."

"Well, technically you are Sir, at least you are if you're here."

"But I'm not here Carter."

"No, I know. You were on the Prometheus the first time, but just as a hallucination - but this is different. This time I don't think I'm here either – I mean I'm real, but I don't think I'm actually on the Prometheus."

"Well Carter, if neither of us is here then that kind of makes this whole thing pointless, doesn't it."

"Sir!"

"Carter!"

"Sir, do you know what this is about?"

"Well, if it's anything like before, I think you're in my head", he answered calmly.

"In your head?"

"Yes Carter, in my head or at least in my mind or something. I don't really know. Look, you're the brainy one, you should be able to figure it out."

"I don't know. I guess we could be, although you weren't on the Prometheus with me so I don't know why you're thinking of this?"

"But you just said I _was_ there."

"As a hallucination. You weren't real."

"You mean you hallucinated me when you were there?" He sounded extremely pleased by that and she had to grin. Only Jack O'Neill would be thrilled to be part of someone's injury induced delusion."

"Yes", she answered shortly. She really didn't want to get into that. She just wanted to figure out why they were here and what she was supposed to do to help him.

"So, what was it like?"

"What was _what_ like Sir?"

"What was the hallucination like? What did I do?"

"It wasn't just you Sir, Daniel and Teal'c and my father also visited me." She decided not to mention the little girl with the bubbles. She still found that whole thing confusing herself.

"Really?" this time he sounded disappointed, as if he alone wanted to be in her hallucination. "So, what happened then? What did everybody say?"

She knew from the look on his face he wasn't going to let this go so she ran over some of the things that had happened on the Prometheus, and some of the 'visions' she had had. She avoided mentioning her father and the Colonel and she certainly wasn't going to mention that kiss – even though she'd thought about it a lot over the months since then.

"So, what did your Dad say", he pressed. She should have known he wouldn't miss her leaving some things out."

"Uh, nothing much – just, you know, Dad kind of stuff."

"_Dad_ kind of stuff?" he grinned. "And what kind of _stuff_ is that?"

"You know Sir. He worries about me. He just wants me to be happy."

The Colonel's face grew serious. "And he doesn't think you are – happy that is?"

"He's just worried that I was ignoring my personal life – that I was 'settling' rather than taking a chance on happiness." She hadn't been planning on telling him, but decided that since this whole scene was happening that maybe the truth was important - although she _still_ wasn't going to mention the kiss.

"I – see", he answered, leaning back and resting his head against the wall. Everything was quiet for a minute and then he asked, "So, that's the reason for – Pete?" he asked.

This was the first time that Jack had said anything about Pete. He knew she had been dating him; she hadn't hidden it from her team, but he never asked about him or about how things were going. She'd accepted that and, in fact, had been relieved about it although sometimes it had bothered her. It seemed to indicate he didn't really care that she was dating someone.

"Yes, that and -" Oops, she hadn't meant to say that.

"That and – what Carter?"

"Nothing Sir."

"Carter, come on. This is my mind after all so you have to answer my questions."

"Who says Sir?" she asked, a small smile on her face.

"I do – so spill." When she still didn't reply he turned to face her. "What did I say in your hallucination Sam?" he asked gently.

Breathing in deeply, she too turned to face him. "You told me you'd always be there for me Sir."

"And I will Sam, you know that. At least I will as long as I'm alive. Is that all I said?"

"I asked –"

"Yes?"

"I asked about us", she finally admitted. This time she couldn't look him in the eye.

"I – see." This time he was the one who looked uncomfortable. "And what did I say?"

"That you were a sure bet."

He raised his eyes and stared at her blankly. "What the hell does that mean?" he wanted to know.

"Uh – I wasn't sure – but I think you meant that I was using – us – to avoid taking any chances and to avoid meeting other men."

"Oh."

Again there was silence and Jack started fiddling with his shoe laces. After a while she could see a small grimace appear on his face and he raised his head. "So, that's also why – Pete?"

"Yes, I guess."

"You realize of course that I didn't say that? That was you talking, not me."

"I know Sir – but when I woke up in the Infirmary -"

"Yeah?", he said, looking puzzled. "What? I was relieved you were okay."

"I know, but when I woke up I called you Jack and you – you sounded like I was out of line. That kind of confirmed what I'd been thinking, or hallucinating. I figured that if you actually – cared – for me you wouldn't have done that."

O'Neill sighed and pushed himself to his feet. He began to wander around the ship while Sam looked on. She really wished she knew what was going on in his head.

"Carter – ", he stopped and looked at her. "It's good that you found someone. Your father is right – you need a life. There's no point in – look, you're young and you have the possibility of a great life ahead of you. I meant it – or at least I would have meant it – hell, you got it right when you had me say I'll always be there for you, but you're a lot better off with Pete."

"Pete's gone Sir."

"What? Why? When?"

"After you were kidnapped. I was – worried – and Pete didn't like it. We had an argument and I broke it off."

"You _what_? Carter, you shouldn't have done that. I'm not worth losing a good man for."

She laughed, although she felt far from happy. "That's what you always say Jack." What the hell – this wasn't real so she was damn well going to use his name. "You don't ever think you're good enough which is a load of crap. You're one of the best men I know." Okay Sam – it was now or never. "Look Sir, I imagined that whole conversation and I may have gotten the whole thing wrong. But now – now I need to know for sure. I need to know whether or not you care for me as a friend – of if there's more. Do you still feel the same as after the Zatarc testing or have your feelings changed? Did I make a mistake to try and find someone else?"

"Carter!" He looked anguished at her question and clearly didn't want to answer.

"Don't worry about hurting my feelings Sir – I'd rather know for sure than be left in this limbo. I'll understand if you don't, if all you want is friendship - I just – I need to know."

"Carter", he said again, more softly. "Please – it doesn't matter what I feel. I'm _not _good enough for you. You should get in touch with Pete and make up with him. He's a good man and he can give you the life you deserve."

"Yes, he is a good man", she said calmly. "Unfortunately, he's not the man for me and the life he could give me isn't the one I want. Do you know why I know? After I broke up all I felt was relief. Since that time I haven't even given him a thought. Now, please answer me Sir. I need to know."

"Carter, Sam – I", he continued to pace until he finally came up to one of the consoles and placed his hands against it and leaned forward. "Yes, of course I care for you Sam. I've never stopped. That doesn't mean anything though. You know we can't -"

"Are you saying it's the regulations Sir? Is that the reason why you pushed me away?"

"I didn't push you away Sam – that was your own hallucination. Actually, it was probably your common sense talking."

"Jack – if there were no regulations, would you give us a chance?" she finally asked, laying it all on the table.

"I – I'm not worth it Sam", he said, so quietly she almost couldn't hear him. "I meant what I said, you need someone who can give you the life you deserve. I'd only ruin your life." He took a deep breath and faced her head on. "You see, anything I love I destroy and I would never do that to you."

She suddenly found herself on a gravel road, surrounded by trees. She had no idea where she was, or what had happened to the Prometheus. She did feel the tears on her face, though, and wiped them away roughly. She was upset but also angry as hell. Jack O'Neill was an idiot and she wanted to kick his butt. She remembered Daniel's words about not taking any of his crap. Well, the next time she saw him!

She figured she might as well keep walking forward, along the road, since she didn't know where she was anyway. It was a good 20 minutes later when she came upon a cabin. It was a pretty little spot in front of a blue lake. She glanced around, but didn't see anyone.

Sam walked forward, and it was only as she neared the cabin that she saw the truck parked over to one side. She instantly recognized it and then realized where she must be.

Jack had invited her numerous times to his cabin but she'd never gone. She hadn't had the courage. Well, it looked like she was finally here!

She kept walking until she could clearly see the lake in front of her. It was then that she saw the lone figure sitting by the water. He had a fishing rod in his hand and a bottle of beer beside him on the deck.

Sam moved towards him and sat down on the dock, right next to him. She then looked out towards the lake. He didn't say anything or appear to have noticed her, although she knew that he had been aware of her presence for a long time. It was almost impossible to sneak up on Jack O'Neill.

"Finally decided to come fishing Sam?" he asked after what seemed like a long time.

"Looks like it Jack", she answered.

"I didn't think you'd ever really come."

"No? I often wondered what you would have done if I'd agreed."

"Probably would have wet my pants."

"So, you don't really want me here?"

"I didn't say that – I just – didn't think you'd come."

"So, did you want me to come?"

"Always Sam – although it was better for you that you didn't."

Okay, here he goes again, she thought. This time she wasn't going to let him get away with this.

"Why?" she asked. "Why would it be better?"

"Because - you know – you need someone -"

"Like you Jack. I need someone like you."

He carefully laid down his fishing rod and pushed himself back. "Sam, no – even if we could, I'm not someone you need in your life, not like that."

"Why not?" she pressed.

"Because, people I care for – tend to get hurt."

"Really? I thought you cared for Daniel and Teal'c and me? We're all still here. We're all fine."

"That's not what I meant. And anyway, how many times _has_ Daniel died? Hanging around with me hasn't been particularly good for him. And then there's you – God, I _killed_ you!"

"That's crap Sir, and you know it. Daniel is alive because of you, we all are. Not only that, millions, no billions, of people are also alive so don't start saying you're bad for people."

"Sam – I – you know what I mean."

"You mean people you _love_ gent hurt – is that right."

"Yeah", he answered softly, staring into the distance.

"Well, then we make a good pair."

"What do you mean?" he turned to her, puzzled.

"Well, you say you hurt those you love – well, anyone who loves me dies. I'd say that's worse", she answered plainly. "Haven't you heard – they call me the 'black widow'."

"Who does?" he asked angrily. "No one that I know would dare to say that."

"Of course not Jack – they're careful around you – but they still say it. Anyway, it's true."

"No it's not. Don't be ridiculous. That has nothing to do with you. It's just coincidence – or the fact that all those people were in dangerous professions."

"Oh, so it's not some curse that I carry around with me?"

"Of course not."

She sat there silently, simply gazing at him. He began to grow uncomfortable. "Look, it's different with me, okay?"

"No Sir, it's not. Sure, you've had some bad things happen, and I'm really sorry. That doesn't mean that you caused those things to happen or that everyone you love gets hurt. Hell, you look after those you love pretty darn well. We all know that."

He still looked obstinate and she knew this was going to be tough. She wasn't looking for any great romantic declaration from him. She simply wanted him to be able to feel free to love, something she could see he was denying himself. It hadn't just been the regulations all these years. She finally understood that Jack felt unworthy. He needed to know that he was worthy of both receiving and _giving_ love.

"And anyway Sir, I figure that maybe the reason you and I haven't had much luck in the relationship department is because we've screwed around with a universal truth."

"The – what the hell does that mean Carter?"

"Well, it seems like that in all the alternate universes we've encountered you and I have been together. Maybe we're just meant to be and by denying that we're screwing with some cosmic plan."

"And if we're together then no one else would be in danger from us? Is that what you mean Carter?"

"It's possible Sir. I guess we'll never know though." She pushed herself to her feet. "You're so determined to do the noble thing that we'll probably always wonder if it would have been good between us. Somehow, I'm betting it would have been great."

She gave a small smile and then walked away, back towards the path. She couldn't stay any longer, although in reality she didn't know where she could go. She was still inside a dream – or maybe it was the Colonel's mind. Whatever it was, wherever she was, she knew she couldn't bear it any longer.

She'd walked until she was almost out of site of the cabin when she heard some footsteps running towards her. She stopped and waited, although she didn't turn around.

"You were the one who refused to go fishing", his voice said softly.

"So, maybe you should ask again", she answered quietly. She could feel her heart thudding as she waited for his reply.

"Sam, want to go fishing?" he finally asked.

She let out a small sob and turned. He was standing with a grin on his face and his arms held wide. She ran to him and threw herself into his arms.

He felt good. Really good. Better than he had in a long, long time. He couldn't figure out why, or where he was, but it didn't really matter. He was rested and at peace. For the first time in a long time he was pretty sure he hadn't had a nightmare. Oh, he kind of thought there'd been a dream or two, but nothing horrible. On top of that he felt warm and relaxed and loved being able to cuddle up next to - !

He stopped breathing. Okay, he was pressed up against a soft, warm body. He was afraid to open his eyes. It better not be Teal'c, he thought to himself. He slowly let his eyelids flutter open and got an eyeful of blond hair.

His eyes snaked downward until he could see the woman curled up in his arms. It was Carter! What the hell was she doing here?

He was about to wake her up when he noticed the expression on her face. She looked – happy, just purely and simply happy. He couldn't bear to wake her. Instead, he laid his head back down and allowed his eyes to close.

He still wasn't sure what had happened, but he figured it must have been something damn good! With a sigh he allowed himself to fall back to sleep – a small smile on his face.

Anteaus and Lya also smiled as they looked at the man who had become their friend. They quietly left the small hut so as not to disturb the occupants. As they stepped into the bright light of day they could see Teal'c and Daniel standing, waiting.

"He is well", Anteaus replied. "The healing worked and your friend has returned."

"May we see him?" Daniel asked.

Lya turned and looked at the hut and then back at Daniel. "Let him rest", she said. "He will soon be with you."

"And Sam?"

"She too is resting", the Nox woman answered. "She is fine. Do not worry – harmony has been restored and you will be able to return to earth."

Daniel and Teal'c stood there for a while after the two Nox had left.

"I believe they will be fine Daniel Jackson", Teal'c said.

"Yeah, I think you're right Teal'c." With that, the two friends turned and walked back to the fire, where they partook of their breakfast.

"Uh – I think I'll pass."


	13. Guinness and Friends

Okay, so no Sam. He glanced around the small room that he'd stayed in for many months but she still wasn't here. He realized then that it had been a dream – a good dream – no, a _great_ dream, but a dream nonetheless.

He pushed himself up out of bed and sat for a moment, legs over the side. Still, he felt great. It was as if a cloud had cleared from his mind, a very black, very ugly cloud, and he felt ready to move on, to go home.

Yes! He grinned and stood up. It was time. It was time for him to head home. This time he knew he was ready. Why that was, why all of a sudden, he didn't know. It just felt right.

He quickly rinsed his face with the cold water left in a jug on the little wash stand and then grabbed his clothes and got dressed. He grinned again. He was soon going to be able to take a nice hot shower, something he'd really missed.

What he'd missed even more were his friends, his family. He stopped and thought for a moment about Teal'c, Daniel and Sam and felt a yearning to see them again, to laugh with them and yes, to tease them. Picking up his razor he began to shave his face, which became increasingly difficult as he couldn't keep from smiling.

Hungry! He just realized he was ravenously hungry. He threw the towel down and went to see what Lya or one of the others had cooked up. The food was good, but he was dying for a steak. The Nox were vegetarians, refusing to kill harmless animals in order to eat them.

"Anteaus", he shouted when he saw his friend over by the fire. "Good morning!" He walked over and slapped the twig encrusted man on the back.

"Jack, you seem well this morning", Anteaus looked pleased.

"I am my friend. No, actually, I'm _great_. Feel better than I have in a long time."

"That is wonderful! And what is even better is you are just in time to join me for breakfast."

Jack sat and ate a huge breakfast and chatted with Anteaus. He had come to add the Nox to his small circle of close friends and knew he'd miss him when he left.

He glanced around a few times, feeling the looks that were being given him by the other Nox. Although not as close to them as he was to Lya and Anteaus, he'd come to like all of them and now called them his friends as well. Still, he was finding their glances a little nerve wracking this morning.

"What's up with everyone?", he asked.

"What do you mean Jack O'Neill?" Anteaus asked, using the name he'd first called the human until Jack had convinced him to just use his first name.

"They're all looking at me like I've got spinach in my teeth or something."

"Spinach?"

"Yeah, it's a green vegetable that we eat on earth. Kids hate it!"

Anteaus laughed. "I assure you my friend, you do not have any green vegetables on your teeth. If they are looking at you differently it is because they are happy for you."

"Happy for me? Why?"

"Because, we can all tell that you are healed and are ready to return home."

Jack met this comment with suspicious silence. How did they know he was doing better? "Uh Anteaus, how -"

"Jack, it is time for you to know the truth." Anteaus looked seriously at his friend. "Many months ago Thor contacted us and told us that you were hurt badly, but that your wounds were not physical but were deep in your soul. He asked for the help of the Nox. As a friend of the Asgard – but also of the Tauri – we agreed to help. The seven of us were brought together, as the most powerful of our healers, to help you. We were aware of your anguish and are now aware of the fact that you are well."

"What? You mean you are reading my mind or something?" Jack stood up suddenly, upset by the possibility that someone had been digging around in his mind.

"No indeed my friend, we have never invaded your privacy. All we have done is surround you with peace and the time to heal. If we helped at all it was to keep away the bad spirits that would trouble you. But it was you that managed to heal yourself. We only gave you the space and the time."

Jack slowly sat back down, relieved but still slightly creeped out. Looking at Anteaus, however, he believed what he said was true. There were no more gentle or caring people than the Nox and he was positive they would not betray him.

"So – they can tell - ?"

"Yes, they feel that your mind and spirit are healed."

"And I'm ready to go home, right?"

"Yes indeed", Anteaus laughed. "You may go home whenever you like." The Nox stopped then and leaned forward, placing his hand on Jack's shoulder. "I will miss you though, as will the others."

Jack started to say something flippant, his usual way of dealing with moments of heavy emotion, but knew that wouldn't be fair to this man – or these people – after all they had done for him. So instead he reached over and placed his hand on Anteaus' shoulder. "And I will miss you my friend. You'll have to come and visit and we'll go fishing sometime." As the other man frowned Jack laughed. "Don't worry, we'll throw them back in!"

A short time later Jack was ready to head to the Gate. All of the Nox were to accompany him, which made him feel a little uncomfortable, although secretly he was pleased. He chatted lightly with all of them, teasing the women and giving the men a hard time. Finally they arrived at the Stargate. He looked at it briefly, feeling a wave of nostalgia and of longing for his friends and his old life.

He turned then and looked at the people who had helped him so much but wasn't quite sure what to say. How do you thank people for giving you your life back? "Uh, I just wanted to say – thank you – for everything. I'll never forget any of you and if ever you need anything -." As if the Nox ever would, he realized. Still – "You're all welcome to come and visit. I have this nice little cabin and I think you'll all feel right at home."

"Will you chop the wood?" Timus asked with a grin. "You know how much I hate doing that."

"Don't worry, I'll make sure and have it all chopped before you get there!"

"Know this Jack O'Neill", Lya spoke after the laughter had died down. "We are always here if you need us." She handed Jack a small crystal orb. "Use this if you need to get in touch with us. We are your friends, don't ever forget that."

"Thank you Lya", he reached over and gave the woman a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Anteaus gave a mock glare but then smiled. The other Nox each came and gave Jack a hug or a handshake. Anteaus dialed the gate and suddenly it was time for Jack to leave.

He frowned suddenly. "Uh, I don't have a GDO", he said.

"Do not worry, you will make it through the cover of the earth's gate just fine", Lya assured him.

"You're sure? I don't really feel like going 'splat' today."

"You will not Jack O'Neill, that I promise."

"Okay then." He walked up the stairs until he reached the blue of the event horizon. He turned, one last time, and gave a small salute. With a smile he took the one step that would take him home.

"Did we do the right thing Anteaus?", Lya asked.

"By not telling of his friends and how they helped him? I hope so Lya. You know how hesitant he is to accept help. This way he will continue to believe it was a dream."

Jack stepped through onto the ramp in the SGC. He looked back and was startled to see that the iris was closed. Whoa – that was kind of weird! He'd just walked through solid metal. He had to grin at that thought – thinking it was weird to go through a trinium iris just after his particles had travelled thousands of light years and then were reintegrated on the other side.

"Colonel!" he turned in time to see General Hammond hurrying into the Gate room.

"Sir", he grinned and saluted. He then walked down the ramp and put out his hand. The General grabbed it and then pulled him forward for a hug. Okay –two weird things – going through the iris and being hugged by a General! Fortunately said General slapped him on the back – turning the hug into a respectable 'man hug'. Thank goodness – the marines wouldn't say anything now.

"Colonel, it's great to have you back. How are you?"

"I'm fine Sir – just great in fact. How's everyone here?" He looked around, hoping to see his team but disappointed when none of them were there.

"Everyone's fine Jack. Unfortunately we had no idea you'd be coming home so quic – today – so I sent them home. Teal'c went with Dr. Jackson. They were kind of – tired – after their last mission."

"Not hurt?" he frowned.

"Oh no, nothing like that. It was just a little draining for them. I'm going to have Walter give them a call though. They'll want to come and see you right away."

"No Sir, don't do that. They need to rest if they've had a tough mission. I'll give them a call."

"Are you sure Jack? They'll be upset if you don't you know."

"Yeah, I know", he grinned. God, it was good to be back. He glanced up to see Walter in the Control room, a big smile on his face. Jack waved at him and got a salute in return. He then realized that a number of people had crowded into the room and they were all smiling down at him.

He could feel himself get kind of embarrassed and Hammond must have realized this as he slapped Jack on the back one more time. "Come on Colonel, we need to get you to the Infirmary for a check up and then, if everything looks okay you can head on home."

"Uh, I assume I still have a home Sir?" he asked. He hadn't really worried about his things before but now wondered if his stuff had been confiscated or put in storage.

"Your house is just fine. Your team made sure your mail was picked up and that your lawn was looked after."

They arrived at the Infirmary just as the General finished speaking. Jack stuck his head around the door of Janet's office, to see the small doctor examining someone's chart. She glanced up when she heard a noise and practically jumped out of her seat. She let out a little squeak, which had Jack grinning.

"Glad to see me Doc?" he asked.

"Jack – ur Colonel", she said when she saw the General. "When did you get back?"

"Just now. The General's making me come to get poked and prodded to make sure I'm me."

She had stood up and walked over to him by this time. She looked at the General once more but, encouraged by his grin, she threw caution and protocol to the wind. "Jack", she said, giving him a big hug, "it's so good to see you. How are you feeling?" She stepped back and instantly turned into the 'doctor'. Looking at him from head to toe she was relieved to see that he looked healthy. Not only that, she could tell that he'd gotten his 'spark' back. He was grinning from ear to ear and looked more relaxed than she'd ever seen him.

"I'll leave him in your capable hands Doctor", the General said. "Jack when you're done come and see me in my office."

"I will Sir, thank you."

Janet soon had him settled on one of the beds in the Infirmary and began a whole battery of tests. Normally he would have been grousing and complaining by now, but he was so glad to be back, and so happy to see George and Janet, that he let her do her worst.

"I'm fine Janet, really", he said as she shone the penlight in his eyes for the second time. "The Nox took good care of me. I feel better than I have in a long while."

Janet stepped back and gave a small smile. "Well, from what I can see so far, they must have. You're looking incredibly fit Sir and you look great. Can you tell me what they did?"

"Uh nothing, really", he answered. When she looked skeptical he continued. "Janet, I ate and slept and worked – lots of physical work out in the fresh air. Other than that it was just – peaceful. I think all I needed was to get away from everything and get better."

"And the nightmares and – everything?"

"They're gone Janet – at least I'm pretty sure they are. I feel good, really good and the Nox agree. I don't think they would have let me come home if they didn't think I was ready."

"But you think you are?"

"I know I am Janet. Look, I know I was in pretty bad shape before – in fact, I didn't think I was going to make it – but now I know I'm going to be okay. I'm just really looking forward to my own bed and a shower – oh, and a juicy big steak, a baked potato and a beer!"

"The Nox don't have those things?" she laughed.

"No – they're vegetarians. Janet, I've eaten more green stuff in the last few months than I probably have in my entire life!"

"That's probably why you look so good Sir", she laughed again. "Keep it up and you'll live to a hundred!'

"God no! I've already been there once. Don't know if I want to be a hundred again." He leaned over and whispered "the old prostate trouble you know!"

Janet was soon finished and couldn't find anything at all wrong with the Colonel. Of course, not all the tests were back yet, but she was pretty sure they'd all come back clean. He really did look wonderful.

"So Sir, what are you going to do now?" she asked casually. She wondered where the rest of SG1 were hiding. Those were going to be some interesting conversations. They'd all made her promise not to say anything to the Colonel – but boy, she'd love to be a bug on the wall when they told him what they'd done.

"Now?" He jumped down off the bed. "Now I'm going to go see the General, and then I'm heading home. I can't tell you how wonderful it will be to sleep in a bed where my feet don't stick out the bottom!"

The conversation with the General was short. He told him what had occurred on the Nox world – at least, he gave as many of the details of daily life as he could. He didn't tell anything about his dreams, figuring that was something that only he had to know.

Once he was finished he paused and took a deep breath. "Sir, what about the NID?" It was a thought that had bothered him over the last few hours. He knew they wanted him and was pretty sure they weren't about to give up now that he said he was okay.

"They nosed around for quite some time after you 'disappeared'", the General told him. "I told them I didn't know where you were – which was the truth – at least until – I mean, until we were told you were with the Nox. Eventually they stopped harassing me – although that may also have been because I complained to the Chief of Staff and the President!"

"Pulled out the big guns did you Sir?" Jack smirked.

"Damn right I did. Those guys are vultures, hanging around waiting to pick over the bones anytime anything bad happens. God, I'd like to see the back of them!"

The Colonel suddenly became serious. "General, they're more than just vultures", He took another deep breath. "They were the ones behind my kidnapping – at least Samuels was."

The General looked at him equally as seriously. "We know. We've been trying to gather proof, but so far, no luck."

"Well, now that I'm back I'll find something."

"Jack – be careful. Samuels will have even more reason to get rid of you now."

"I know Sir", he smiled. "Don't worry. I won't do anything stupid. I plan to be around for a long time."

"Just try and stay under the radar for awhile. I'll get in touch with the Joint Chiefs and the President and let them know you're back - and that you're doing fine. Hopefully that'll keep the NID out of your hair – officially at least.

He looked out the window of the car as the driver took him to his house. It felt good to be home! He opened the window and breathed the crisp Colorado air. Yes – this is where he was supposed to be.

He opened the door to his house and was pleasantly surprised to see that everything was clean and smelled fresh. He smiled slightly – pretty sure that one or more of his team had managed to come over and clean. He figured it was either Sam or Daniel. Somehow he couldn't picture Teal'c with rubber gloves and a toilet brush!

He went into the kitchen and opened the fridge, not expecting to see anything. As it was he burst out laughing – it was full of Guinness. He pulled one out and twisted the cap off. He took a long swig and then sighed. Yup, it was good to be home.

He wandered into the living room and decided it was time to let his team know he was home. He couldn't wait to see them! He thought about the dreams he'd had of each of them and, even though they hadn't been real, they gave him a feeling of warmth and family.

He picked up the phone and debated who to call first. Although his instinct was to call Sam he knew that might not be a good idea. Pete could be there and he really didn't want to hear the man's voice. It would depress him too much – and he was too happy to be back right now.

Making a decision he picked up the phone and dialed.

"Hello"

"Daniel?"

"Jack? Jack is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me Daniel. I just got home and thought I'd call and say hi."

"You what? You're at home?" the shocked voice on the end of the line said. "How the hell did you get back so quickly?"

"Quickly? Daniel, I've been gone for six months!"

"No – I mean – Jack, we were just there at the SGC a few hours ago and you weren't back yet. Did the Nox drop you off at home? Are you okay?"

"Daniel, I'm fine. Why don't you and Teal'c come on over and I'll explain everything. I arrived a few hours ago and I've been checked over by Janet and everything is great. The General told me I could leave so I decided to wait and call after I got home."

"God Jack – it's so good to hear you. We'll be right over."

"Uh Daniel, do you want to call Carter and see if maybe she'd like to come too?" There, that sounded casual enough.

"Why don't you call her yourself Jack?"

"Uh – I don't want to – disturb her in case she has company or something."

"What?" Daniel's confused voice asked. "Company? Why would she have -" Daniel stopped suddenly. "Oh. Don't worry about that Jack. She won't have anyone there, I'm sure."

"You're positive?" Jack asked. He was feeling rather uncomfortable, sure that Daniel had figured out why he was hesitant to contact Carter.

"I'm positive Jack. She hasn't had company in a long, long time."

"A long- ?"

"Yeah a _loooong_ time."

"Okay, right, good. I'll uh call her then."

After he put the phone down he wanted to curse. Talk about making a fool of yourself O'Neill! Still, it sounded like the cop might be gone. God, he hoped so. He thought briefly of his dream of last night and of waking up with Sam in his arms. If that were only true!

With a deep breath he picked up the phone and dialed her number. After three rings someone picked it up and she answered.

"Carter here."

"Carter? Hi."

There was a pause and then, "Colonel?"

"Yeah, it's me Carter."

"Oh my God Sir! How are you? Where are you? Is everything okay?"

"Whoa Carter, everything is fine. I just got home a few hours ago and Janet gave me a pass. I just got to my place and wanted to see if you'd like to come over. Daniel and Teal'c are coming and I thought we could order something in for supper and have a team night."

"Oh God Sir, it's so good to hear you! Yes, of course, I'll be right over."

"Good! I'll see you in a few Carter."

He whistled as he headed into his living room with another Guinness. He knew he had to be a bit careful – it had been months since he'd had any alcohol. Still, it felt great to kick back and relax. What was even better was that he was going to see his friends soon.

It was only a couple of minutes later that the doorbell rang. Daniel and Teal'c must have left right after he called!

He'd just stood up when he could hear the door open and the Space Monkey's voice shout, "Jack, we're here."

"Come on in guys!" He walked to me them and was practically knocked over by the force of Daniel's hug. This was quickly followed by Teal'c. He almost expected to be swung around like a little kid, but fortunately his Jaffa friend let him go before that.

"It is good to see you O'Neill", Teal'c grinned.

"Back atcha big guy. You're looking good."

"You too O'Neill. You are looking very well."

"Yeah – feeling good too Teal'c." He turned to Daniel. "So, how are you doing Daniel?"

"I'm well Jack. Much better now that you're back."

"Missed me didya? No one coming by to keep you in line?"

"I tried O'Neill", Teal'c interjected, "but I am not as skilled in harassment as are you."

"Oh - touche Teal'c!" Jack grinned. "Come on in. I've got beer and uh – beer."

"That is alright O'Neill. We brought other things." Teal'c walked back to the entryway and grabbed a couple of grocery bags. "We cleared out Daniel refrigerator."

A few minutes later and there was another knock on the door. Jack couldn't help the big grin that appeared on his face.

"Uh, must be Carter." He stood up and headed to answer the door. Teal'c and Daniel shared a knowing look.

"Carter! Come on in!" He stepped back to allow her to enter, although his first urge was to open his arms and give her the biggest hug imaginable. It was only as he saw her grin and the fact that she was advancing on him, that he realized her intent.

"Colonel!" She threw her arms around him and hugged him like she'd never let go. God, if that were only true, he thought. Oh well, might as well make the most of it. He returned her hug and snuggled his face into her neck. He was almost sure he felt her shiver, but that might have been only wishful thinking.

It was the soft 'cough' from the direction of his living room that brought him back to earth. He had no idea how long he'd been standing there holding on to his Second – but was pretty sure it was longer than would be considered proper.

Reluctantly he began to pull back but stopped when the arms around him tightened. After a few seconds they loosened and Sam – Carter – stepped back. He looked at her and somehow wasn't surprised to see tears on her face.

"Sorry Sir", she said softly.

"Sorry? What for?" he smiled. "That was the best welcome home I've had in a long time."

"Hey!" shouted Daniel. "What about Teal'c and me?"

Jack grinned and motioned for Sam to proceed him into the living room. "Well, it was nice to see you guys but if I've gotta choose who to hug, Carter's gonna win every time!"

For the next few hours the four friends sat and talked and laughed and reminissed. Jack told them a little about his time with the Nox, but for the most part he didn't want to think about where he'd been this last year. He just wanted to soak up the friendship and companionship of the three who had become his family.

Daniel was telling a story from his university days when Jack happened to glance over at Carter. He caught her looking at him with a strange expression on her face. It took her a moment before she realized he was looking at her and she then started and smiled. Jack returned the smile and toasted her with his beer bottle. As he drank, he wondered what it was she had been thinking. There was definitely something behind those blue eyes – and he'd have to discover what it was.

He turned back to Daniel, to hear the rest of the story. He leaned back into his chair and relaxed.

God! It was good to be home!


	14. Bad Habits

He was drunk. Not the silly, stupid drunk, nor the belligerent loud drunk. No, he was 'happy drunk'. He looked blearily at his three friends and realized they were drunk too. At least Daniel and Sam were. Teal'c – well, he appeared a bit more relaxed than normal but probably wasn't actually drunk. Now that he'd lost his symbiote he could drink alcohol and it did affect him, but not nearly as much as it did his human friends.

Daniel and Sam were discussing something – something geekish by the sounds of things. It didn't really matter what they were talking about though. It just mattered that they were here, safe, with him. He allowed his eyes to drift halfway shut and closed off the sounds of his friends' voices. Instead he simply thought about what they meant to him. They were his salvation, that he knew. They'd brought him back, years ago, from the brink of hell and had made him want to live. Now, he believed he could do more than just live. For the first time since the loss of Charlie he had hope that there was something good waiting for him.

He stared at Sam – looking at her flushed but happy face. Yes, he loved her, more than he should and more than he'd ever thought possible. He was pretty sure it wouldn't go anywhere but still, to have her close was almost enough. It gave him a sense of peace and joy. He thought back to that dream, to waking up with her in his arms and knew that that thought would sustain him for a long time.

"You okay Jack?" a slurred voice from his friend Daniel asked.

"I'm fine Danny", he smiled. "Just sittin' here listening to you two talk."

"Really? Wow Jack, that must be a first!"

"Didn't say I knew what you were talking about or what it meant. I was just happy to hear your voices. I missed you guys you know. It's great to be back."

All three of his friends looked at him in shock – drunk as they were. One thing they could always count on was Jack _not_ talking about his feelings. To hear him say he's missed them was – surprising – at least.

"Uh, we missed you too Jack. More than you know." Daniel answered softly.

Sam nodded, her eyes filled with tears. "It just wasn't the same without you Sir", she said.

"No one to bug you Carter?"

"No Sir – I mean – that's not why I – we missed you – Sir", she answered, flustered. I meant -"

"Just pulling your leg Sam. Don't be so uptight - and call me Jack!"

"Uh – Jack Sir?"

"It's my name Carter."

"I know Sir – it's just that-"

"Jack, Carter – say it!"

"Jack, Sir."

He sighed and leaned his head back. Damn Air Force, damn regs, damn 2IC's that _obeyed_ those regs. Life was a bitch sometimes.

He woke up the next morning with a mild hangover. It really wasn't too bad because he hadn't been _that_ drunk. He'd been more tipsy than anything.

He had to grin when he'd thought of how maudlin they'd all become last night. Even Teal'c had waxed poetic about Sg1 and all their adventures. He was pretty sure Daniel cried and Carter – well – she was just Carter. A brilliant scientist, amazing soldier and lovely soul.

Thinking about his three friends made him realize that they were camped out in various rooms in his house. They'd all had too much to drink and it had been too late to let them drive home so he'd told them all to crash at his place. Teal'c was in one guest room, Sam in another and Daniel was flaked out on his couch. He rather suspected that at least two of them would have hangovers this morning.

Well, he'd better get up and get everyone sobered up! They had _plans_ to work out; Operation Samuels!

"So, do you have any idea at all where you were held Sir?" Sam asked. They'd all had coffee and had showered and were feeling a bit more human this morning. Both Carter and Jackson had taken some Tylenol and it had appeared to help. At least they both looked reasonably alert. Teal'c, as always, looked totally in control.

"Not exactly, no. I've thought about it a lot though, over the last few months, and I'm pretty sure it was in a big city."

"How do you figure that, Jack?" Daniel asked.

"Just the sounds and a _feeling_ I guess. There's a different sound to being out in the country. Anyway, the building I was held in seemed like some kind of old factory or something."

"Do you know how long it was between your kidnapping and arriving at this place?" Sam again asked.

"Uh, again, I'm not exactly sure. They drugged me and stuck me in the trunk of their car." He heard Sam's sharp intake of breath and could see the anger in Teal'c's eyes. He glanced over at Daniel to see that he too was furious. Somehow, his friends reactions went even farther in helping him deal with the memories.

"Based on the fact that when we arrived I had a good 5 o'clock shadow I'm guessing between 8 to 12 hours."

"So, let's see what cities are within that distance from your cabin. Do you have an atlas?"

Jack went and got his old atlas and sat on the couch between Sam and Daniel. Teal'c pulled up a chair facing them. "Okay, let's see."

"Minneapolis/St Paul would be the closest of course" Sam pointed to the map.

"Yeah, but it's only about 3 hours from the cabin. I just feel like we drove farther than that."

"Okay. Well, there's Madison or Grand Rapids, but they're also closer than 8 hours."

"They seem like kind of strange places to take you to though Jack." Daniel continued to look at the map.

"Why? I would think that any anonymous place would be fine."

"Probably." Daniel sat frowning. "Sam, we gathered a lot of information on Samuels over the last few months. Was there anything about him travelling to any of these cities? Or maybe there's some kind of connection?"

"Not that I can remember Daniel. Sir", she looked at the Colonel. "Can I borrow your laptop. I can check some of my files to see if there's anything."

Sam was soon set up and accessed her home computer. Since they hadn't been allowed to search for Jack while at work, everything was at home.

"You sure those files are safe Sam?" Jack asked, worried.

"Oh yeah", she grinned. "No one's gonna hack into these S-Jack. I also have it set up so that if someone tries, everything – and I mean everything – will self-destruct!"

His forehead crinkled – not in disbelief, but in humor. He should have known better than even to have asked.

They sat for the next couple of hours going through everything on Sam's computer that related to Samuels. Jack was amazed at how thorough his team had been in finding out every little detail of the man's life – at least every detail that wasn't securely hidden.

"God it!" Daniel had read ahead and was grinning. "Chicago!"

"Chicago?" Jack asked, puzzled. "Why Chicago?"

"Well, it's about 8 hours from Minneapolis so 11 or so from Jack's cabin. But the main thing is that Samuels went to university there – and 7 months ago he went there to 'visit family'." Daniel said, sitting back triumphantly.

"Well, maybe he _was_ visiting family Daniel", Sam reasoned, not wanting to appear too eager.

Daniel leaned forward, an intent look on his face. "The file says he was visiting his 2nd cousin. Now think about it guys, does Samuels seem like the kind of man to keep in touch with his 2nd cousin – or to travel there to visit him?"

Jack sat back and thought about it for a moment but he was pretty convinced Daniel was right. He _couldn't_ picture Samuels as a family man and Chicago seemed a likely spot. It was easy to get lost in such a huge city and there'd be lots of old, abandoned warehouses and factories.

"Okay", he said. "Suppose it is Chicago. What does that tell us?"

"Well, if we can track down where they held you, we might be able to find some witnesses, or something that connects him to the kidnapping."

Jack looked skeptical, knowing that Samuels hadn't got to his position by being careless. Just then, however, something popped into his mind. He could remember Samuels speaking to one of – those men – wanting to make sure Jack was unconscious. He – Abel - had assured him the prisoner was out of it, little knowing that Jack was, in fact, conscious, although not 100% lucid. He'd not only clearly identified Samuel's voice, he'd heard what the man had said.

"Pictures", he exclaimed, looking startled.

"Pictures O'Neill?" Teal'c asked.

"Yeah, they took– pictures." Jack suddenly felt a little sick, remembering Samuels talking about wanting something to remember what Jack looked like. He looked up at his friends and caught the pity on their faces.

He clenched his teeth and straightened up. He wasn't going to let this get to him. In fact, it could be a good thing. "Samuels is smart", he growled, "but he's also an evil Son of a bitch and he wanted a trophy. That may just be what will bring him down."

"How do you figure Jack?" Daniel looked confused.

"Because if they find him with the pictures Daniel, it will prove he was involved."

"But surely he won't be stupid enough to _keep_ them?"

"Yes he will", Jack said softly. "He'll just make sure they're in a very safe place."

"So, we're pretty sure you were held in Chicago, and that he has some pictures. That's not very much to go on." Daniel shook his head. "I really don't know where to start."

"We will go to Chicago and try and follow in the footsteps of Colonel Samuels." Teal'c looked calmly at the others. "Is this not something we will be able to determine?"

"Maybe Teal'c?" Jack had a pensive look on his face. "I think we'll need some help though. If we go asking around he'll soon get suspicious."

"Maybourne!" Daniel and Sam said at the same moment.

"_Maybourne?_" Jack exclaimed. "We don't even know where he is."

"Yes we do Sir – at least, I know how to get in touch with him. He was the one that told us it was Samuels. He wants to help you Jack."

The Colonel looked a little skeptical but after a few moments relaxed. He and Maybourne had a strange relationship. It was full of antipathy as well as a certain measure of respect. As much as O'Neill didn't approve of Harry's ways of doing things, he had no doubt that there was a perverted sense of patriotism and loyalty in the man.

"Okay, let's get in touch and see what he can find out."

Over the next couple of days Jack went over all the facts his team had discovered, detail by detail. He kept trying to think if there was anything else he could remember that might help. He was pretty sure that describing how he'd been tortured wouldn't do anyone any good so he avoided talking about it. It was Daniel (as usual) who forced the issue.

"Jack, tell us what happened to you", he said, very gently. "There might be something that you missed, something that was said that would give us a clue. Maybe telling it will bring something to mind."

Jack stood up and walked swiftly to the window and looked out over his back yard. No one said anything and he finally turned around. "Daniel, it's not going to help, believe me."

"How do you _know_ Jack. There may be something there that you can't remember."

"And telling you guys how they tortured me is going to do _what_ exactly. The – men – didn't exactly chat with me when they were sticking their cigarette butts on my skin."

Daniel blanched, only imagining what his friend went through but then he stilled. "Cigarettes? They smoked?"

"Yeah – at least one of them did. Abel. He was a chain smoker."

"Do you know what brand?"

"Yeah – I couldn't help but notice. He constantly was pulling out the carton and taking another smoke. I figured at one point they were trying to slowly poison me to death!"

"So, what was the brand?"

"Uh they were Pall Malls."

"Pall Malls? I don't recognize that brand", Sam interjected.

"They used to be very popular", the Colonel explained. "I smoked them in my early days in the Air Force, but you don't see them very often anymore."

"Are they hard to get?" Daniel sat forward in his seat.

"I don't know. Maybe", Jack shrugged. "Why does it matter?"

"Well, if they're hard to get, we can probably track stores where they sell them in Chicago. Presuming that he didn't travel a long way to buy cigarettes, we may be able to narrow down our search."

"Daniel, Chicago is a huge city. I'm sure there lots of places that sell the cigarettes."

"No Sir, Daniel is right. It'll help us narrow things down somewhat. I'm going to call Walter and have him check. In the meantime, maybe there's something else you can remember."

He slowly went back, in his mind, over his time in captivity. There was a lot that he didn't remember or that was pretty foggy. He'd been drugged for some of the time and too hurt and traumatized the rest. There were things that started to come back to him though as he went through his time there.

"How long between – sessions?" Sam looked distressed even having to ask the question. Although it was painful to revisit, in some ways he worried more about how his recollections would affect his team than himself.

"Uh, it varied and I couldn't always tell. I didn't know what time of day or night it was and they fed me irregularly so that I couldn't track the time. It seemed like it was maybe once or twice a day. There were a few times it was more" he had to stop there and take a breath, remembering a couple of the really bad times. "And a few times there seemed to be longer in between. There was one point when I didn't see anyone for what felt like 3 days or so. I worried that they'd left me there to die."

He heard a small sob from Sam and looked up quickly. She wasn't looking at him and he felt awful for putting his friends through this. "God", he stood up. "This isn't getting us anywhere. You don't need to hear this and it's not helping."

"We do not know that O'Neill. We have found one useful thing. There may be others."

"Like what?" he practically shouted in frustration. "How is knowing what kind of cigarettes the guy smoked or the fact that Gerry liked to drink Big Gulps going to help us get Samuels?"

There was silence in the room which eventually was broken by Daniel. "Big Gulps?" he asked.

"Yeah – those huge drinks you always see teenage boys drinking. He drank them all the –" Jack stopped and looked up in surprise. "He drank them all the time", he repeated slowly.

"Were they generic or from a certain store, do you remember Sir?"

Jack got a glazed look on his face as he tried to picture the man holding one of the huge plastic cups. He remembered wanting to beg for a sip when he'd been left for a long time without anything to drink. He'd been sure, at the time, that the man was drinking the big drink just to torment him. He realized after a time that the man was addicted.

"Yes – it _was_ a Big Gulp."

"From 7-11", Teal'c said.

Jack looked at him, a frown between his eyes. "How do you _know_ that Teal'c?"

"I drink them myself at times O'Neill. I find them quite refreshing – especially a mixture of Mountain Dew and Fanta Grape."

"Yeah – okay" O'Neill answered, slightly baffled by some of the habits his friend had picked up on earth.

"Well this really does help us", Sam exclaimed. "We'll compare locations of stores where they sell Pall Mall cigarettes and 7-11 stores and see what we come up with."

"Abel could have had a stash of cigarettes he brought with him", argued Jack.

"I know Sir, but at least it's something to start on. We might be able to find some evidence if we descover where you were taken."

"I think that's wishful thinking Major. Samuels is much too smart to leave evidence where it can be found."

They waited for Walter to get back to them. He was home that day but he had a pretty wicked computer set up at home and had been invaluable in their search for information. After an hour the phone rang.

Sam talked into it for a few minutes and then with a 'thank you Walter', she hung up. She then turned to her audience and grinned.

"Well, I've narrowed it down to 8 different locations."

"Eight? Is that all?" Jack was surprised. He'd been willing to bet there were way more. Still, this made the search doable. "Okay then, I guess we're off to Chicago!"

Everybody looked pleased at this development except for Teal'c, who was looking rather distressed.

"What is it buddy?" he asked his friend. "Don't you think we should go."

"I do believe we should go O'Neill. It is myself I am wondering about."

"Yourself? Why?"

"I do not know if I should go with you?"

"Why ever not?" Jack wanted to know. What could be wrong with his friend. "Is something the matter?"

"No." Teal'c then lifted his head and looked directly at Jack. "I may not be able to retain my hat", he explained. "It would put our rescue at risk if it was found out who I am."

"Not retain your hat? What?"

"Is it not very windy in Chicago O'Neill?"

"Windy? Yeah, I guess so. You get used to it though."

"I do not believe I will 'get used to it', when the hat is continuously blown from my head."

Jack had to laugh. Here he'd thought it was something frightening. Now, however, he could spend some time trying to fit Teal'c with proper head gear. This was going to be fun!


	15. Chicago

Jack could feel himself begin to get tense as soon as they landed in Chicago. They'd kept the fact that they were going to the 'windy city' a secret. As far as they knew, only Walter had any idea although Jack suspected that Hammond knew but was keeping out of things so he could claim 'plausible deniability' if any of his superiors, or the NID, asked about Sg1.

Still, Jack felt unusually nervous and out of sorts as they grew nearer the city. They'd flown in a small, private plane that they'd rented under assumed names. Sam had flown with him beside her in the co-pilot seat. It was a good thing that Carter had been in control, he decided. He definitely wasn't at his best.

It didn't take them long to deplane and make their way to the car rental terminal. After they'd rented an SUV (both Jack and Teal'c refused to ride in a smaller car), they headed to their hotel. They'd start their search tomorrow.

That evening they sat in Jack's room and compared notes, probably for the 10th time. Jack ignored most of the conversation as there really wasn't anything knew. Instead, he looked out of the 25th floor window of the hotel at the lights of the huge city.

Chicago was an amazing place and normally Jack loved it. He'd been born in Chicago and had spent many summers here, visiting relatives and friends. He knew it well, although he hadn't visited in a long time – at least, not that he was aware of.

It was that lack of firm knowledge that was driving him crazy. Coming here, looking for the place he'd been held for so many weeks, was bringing back too many bad memories. Oh, he wasn't in the shape he'd been in before the Nox had helped him – this was within the realm of 'normal' but still, it was the stuff of nightmares.

Looking back on his time in captivity, Jack realized that the torture had been as much psychological as physical. His kidnappers had used classic well-proven methods to keep him confused and off balance. That, added to severe lack of sleep, starvation and dehydration – plus frequent trips into excruciating pain – made for some pretty horrific nightmares. He really didn't know if he wanted to find the place he'd been held or not. He was rather afraid of what it would do to him.

"Everything okay Sir?" Sam asked. He could see the concern for him written plainly on her face. Although his teammates had been relieved that he'd returned in much better shape after his Nox holiday, they still watched him for any signs that he might be going – well – crazy again.

"I'm fine Carter. Just thinkin'", he answered. He stepped away from the window. "Anyone hungry? I feel like a good ole' fashioned Chicago pizza!"

That instantly cheered everyone up! Not that they cared that much about pizza but rather they were relieved that Jack was hungry and wanted to do something normal.

They ended up walking to a small, highly recommended pizza parlor close to the hotel and enjoyed a quiet evening of friendship and camaraderie. He could tell his team intentionally kept things light, and off the subject of the kidnapping. He was extremely grateful to them and realized, once again, how much he owed these three.

"Okay guys", Sam said as they all sat at breakfast the next day. "I'll do the driving. Sir, you can navigate as you know the city the best -"

"And I have the best sense of direction!" He looked over at Daniel at this.

"Yes, there's that Sir."

"Hey, I have a good sense of direction!", Daniel exclaimed.

"You do not Daniel Jackson", Teal'c said plainly.

"Teal'c, since when have I led you astray?"

His large friend did the Jaffa 'eyebrow lift'. "We do not have time for me to enumerate the many occasions in which we ended up in places other than where we were to be as a result of your navigation."

"Huh!" Daniel said in disgust. "Betrayed by my own friend!"

"Don't mind him Daniel", Sam patted his arm gently. "We all still love you", she paused, "even if you have _no_ sense of direction."

It was almost 9:30 by the time they got on the road. The good news was that Jack was feeling much more relaxed. The banter – the harassment of Daniel – had all gone a long way to making him feel much better.

They'd seen five of the eight locations picked by Sam and Walter and they'd had no luck. Jack knew instantly, when seeing the first three areas, that they were wrong. There was just something different about them from what he remembered. The next two took a little while longer, and he spent time wandering through some of the streets.

After about half an hour in one of the locations he heard the roar of a jet overhead. He instantly knew they were in the wrong path. "It wasn't in a jet path", he explained as he headed back to the car. "I would have heard."

By the time they'd finished those first five it was getting so they headed back to the hotel, although they decided to go out for dinner and stayed up talking again, until late.

Sometimes Jack would have to shake his head in wonder at the fact that four so disparate people could enjoy each other's company so much and seemingly never get bored. It wasn't even as though they were discussing missions or anything related to the Stargate. They simply chatted about anything and everything.

Maybe it was _because_ they were so different that they got along so well, he pondered. Individually they were all pretty strong, determined people. If they'd been too much alike he was pretty sure they would have butted heads more than they did. Although he grinned when he thought about some of the arguments he and Daniel got into.

He started thinking a bit about Daniel and Sam. He'd always kind of wondered why the two of them never seemed to have any kind of feelings for one another, other than those of friendship. Oh, that it was a very close friendship he knew – but there certainly had never appeared to be any kind of romantic feelings between them. He was pretty sure that would have killed him if they'd gotten together – although he never, ever would have let on.

No, he thought, it wouldn't have worked between them. Although they could work well together as friends, he was pretty sure they'd drive each other crazy as lovers. They could both become totally obsessed with whatever they were working on at any given time. Both of them sometimes had trouble seeing the forest for the trees (he grinned to himself, knowing they'd give him trouble if they ever heard him use _that_ cliché). They needed someone else – someone different – to pull them away and make them see beyond their area of focus.

Besides that, he pondered, they both needed someone who could laugh at them – and with them, someone who could prick their bubbles on occasion. He was also pretty sure that the military side of Sam, the side that needed order and rules and precision would have driven Daniel up the wall on a day to day basis.

"Jack, what are you grinning about?" Daniel asked him from across the table. "You're looking very pleased with yourself."

"Who me? Nah, I'm just – thinking about – uh – a show I was watching on TV."

"Really? What was it?"

"Don't remember the name Daniel. You know me and names."

Daniel looked at him with narrowed eyes. He knew the Colonel much too well. Oh well, it was great to see Jack smile. He wasn't going to bug him about it.

The next morning was cold and grey and everyone seemed in a somber and nervous mood. Jack didn't want to talk – he just wanted this to be over. Even the normally imperturbable Teal'c seemed less that sanguine today. He still wore his knit hat, pulled down low on his forehead, but today he looked more scary that cuddly in it.

The first place was an immediate bust. It was a family neighborhood with quaint houses and kids and dogs and families. Definitely not the right 'ambiance', thought Jack with a grimace.

The next place they went to was an old area, full of dilapidated buildings and factories. There were a few people on the streets, but most looked as if they were there because they had no place else to go rather than because they wanted to be where they were.

They drove to the little 7-11 and looked at the pimply faced teenager outside, drinking a huge slurpee. There was no one else around.

"What do you think Sir", Sam asked softly, glancing at the stone-faced man beside her.

"Don't know Carter", he said shortly. In fact, he wasn't quite telling the truth. He was almost positive this _was_ the area. There was something in the air – some smell or something he couldn't place that made him pretty sure this was it.

"What _is _that?" asked Daniel, a few seconds later.

"What's what?" Jack swung his head around to look at the younger man in the back seat.

"That smell. It reminds me of something but it's so faint I can't tell what it is."

"It is chocolate", Teal'c answered with surety.

"_Chocolate?"_ Jack was ready to scoff but suddenly a sharp breeze brought a strong blast of chocolate flavored air. "My God, he's right! Chocolate, I could never figure out what it was."

Sam's startled expression turned towards him. "You recognize this place?"

"Not the place so much as the smell. It was very faint, which is why I couldn't figure it out but now that I know what it is – I remember it pretty clearly."

"Where is it coming from?" Daniel asked.

"There's a chocolate factory about 10 blocks from here", explained Jack. "It's really well known here in Chicago and if we were closer the smell would be really strong. I can't believe I didn't figure it out!" he exclaimed, frustration in his voice.

"Uh maybe because you were dealing with a few other things", Daniel said gently.

Jack snorted but began to look carefully as they drove down the streets. He really didn't have any idea what to look for and it could be anywhere. Still, his team had gone to this much trouble so he might as well look carefully.

Just then the L Train drove on the tracks overhead. "Okay, this isn't it. I didn't hear the train, at least not that loudly", he said. Sam nodded and turned left, away from the tracks.

They'd driven around for a couple of hours, going up and down the streets slowly. So far there had been nothing that had struck a chord with him and he was about ready to tell Sam to head back to the hotel.

"Look at that place Jack", Daniel pointed to a darkened factory. It looked like it had been closed for a while.

For a second he wondered if a Goa'uld had taken up residence his stomach. He felt a strange heaviness in his gut and a feeling that he was out of control. "Stop", he finally croaked out. Sam looked at him and then hit the brake, so suddenly that Jack felt the seatbelt tighten across his chest.

"What is it Sir?"

"This – place." He undid his seatbelt and opened the door to the car and got out. He stood looking at the building for a long time. He vaguely heard the sound of doors opening and his friends getting out of the car.

"Is this it Jack?"

"I don't know", he replied, although he didn't look over at Daniel. He didn't know what it was about this place but it was definitely making him feel strange. He tried to remember back to the moment when he'd been taken away and stuffed into the trunk of the car. He slowly turned around, trying to see something, anything that would look familiar.

There! There it was. The building across the street was red brick but someone had painted the shutters green. The color contrast stood out and brought back a sharp memory of being dragged from the building. He remembered trying to lift his head, trying to find some help from anyone, and seeing those green shutters.

"This is it", he said, taking a slow step forward. After a couple, however, he stopped and froze. He couldn't go in, he couldn't bear to see – that room.

Suddenly, a warm hand reached out and took his. "It's okay sir. We're here. You're not alone Jack."

He squeezed her hand, needing the human touch, the knowledge that his friends were here, with him. He took a deep breath and then glanced at her and smiled. "Let's do this then."

They entered the building, with Teal'c's help. The doors were locked so Teal'c had climbed through a broken basement window and had come around and let them in.

The smell of the place instantly hit him as he walked in. Oh yeah, this was the place all right. He turned right down a long hall and kept walking, the memories rushing in. He was so lost in the feelings and sensations that he didn't realize that Sam continued to hold his hand.

"Here", he stopped. "This is where -" He couldn't go on, couldn't tell them that this is where he'd been brought, day after day, to be questions and humiliated and tortured. He started to feel weak and sick and would have collapsed if Daniel hadn't reached over and supported him. Sam called his name, but he heard it as if through a long tunnel. He felt himself fall slowly to the ground, still supported by Carter and Daniel.

The next thing he knew, he was lying on the ground, his head in someone's lap. He just hoped it was Sam's and not Teal'c's! It only took him a second to confirm it was indeed Sam and that she was looking down at him in concern.

"Must have -" he had to clear his throat, his voice was practically non-existent. "Must have had low blood sugar – or something."

"Or 'something' Sir", she said softly.

"You okay Jack?" He turned his head to see Daniel kneeling down beside him, Teal'c at his side.

"Do you need assistance O'Neill?" The big Jaffa asked, concern running through his voice.

He could try and bluff his way through this, which is normally what he'd do, but somehow he knew his friends would see through that, and it would belittle their concern and care. So, with a sigh, almost a groan, he pushed himself up and off of Sam's lap (much to his regret).

Once he was sitting, more or less on his own, he turned to the three who were looking at him with both fear and concern. Rubbing his hand over his face he thought for a second and then began to speak.

"Sorry guys. I guess this place got to me a bit. I didn't mean to do a face plant on you."

"God Sir, don't apologize. We are the ones who should be apologizing to you. We shouldn't have made you come back here."

"No, it's alright Carter. I think it was good actually." He smiled at Teal'c. "Help me up buddy?" Once he was standing he reached down and offered his hand to Carter. Once they were all standing he looked at his friends with affection. "I really am okay, you know. It was just the smell and the site of that door – they kind of overwhelmed me for a moment but I'll be okay. I think coming back here will help me lay to rest some remaining demons."

"I did not know demons required rest O'Neill", Teal'c said seriously. Jack looked at him, not really wanting to explain, when he realized that Teal'c was simply trying to lighten the mood. The slight gleam in his eye gave him away.

"Not so many now Teal'c, just a few." His friend nodded in understanding. "Okay everyone, let's check this out and see if we can find anything."

Showing more confidence than he felt he stepped forward and reached for the door knob. If the others noticed his hesitation, no one said anything. Feeling like he had been catapulted into some kind of horror movie, he slowly turned the handle and opened the door. Nothing jumped out at him, there weren't the faces of his torturers or any of the implements they used waiting for him. In fact, there was nothing there - nothing that disturbed or that frightened him. If anything, it was anticlimactic to walk in and see – absolutely nothing. The room was totally bare.

"It looks clean", Sam said, looking around.

"Yeah, too clean", Daniel walked up and touched the walls. "Someone's been in here." He leaned forward and sniffed. "They've used bleach to clean everything. We won't find anything here."

Jack just stood and looked at the room until his heart slowed down from its racing speed. The silence finally reached him and he discovered his friends were again looking at him with worry in their eyes. "Let's check out the other room. This is where they carried out their interrogation. I was kept in the room down the hall."

As he exited he acknowledged his fear but also recognized that he was dealing with it. Seeing it in reality had taken away some of the horror. That didn't stop him from hesitating again when he reached what had been his 'cell' for so many weeks. He could see the holes on the outside of the door where the bolt had been. They'd even removed that, he thought disgustedly. He figured it probably was new and could have been traced. The NID were certainly behind the clean-up, he thought. They knew how to be thorough.

The second room was much like the first, completely devoid of anything and it had been cleaned with bleach. The toilet remained but he was pretty sure they'd dumped gallons of bleach down it to remove any traces of anything.

"Well, this was a wild goose chase", Daniel snorted. "Were you anywhere else in here?" he asked.

"No, only these two rooms", he answered quietly. He didn't see the expressions of anger and dismay on his teammates' faces. "Let's go", he walked towards the door. "There's nothing here."

It was as they were leaving, all feeling frustrated at the lack of anything which would help them, when Sam stopped. "What about outside?" she asked.

"Outside?" Jack looked at her, a frown on her face.

"Well, if they were stuck here for weeks with you, in these little rooms, I expect both Abel and Gerry would have gone outside for some fresh air."

"Yeah, okay", he said, not following her.

"Well, you said Abel smoked and Gerry drank those big drinks?"

"Yeah, Big Gulps."

"Well, they may have left traces behind."

"The NID would have found anything they'd left."

"Maybe, maybe not", she said. "I think it's worth a look."

"All right", he shrugged. He really didn't think it would be of any use but they might as well check. "So, out front?"

"Is there a back?" Sam looked at the three men. Jack shrugged again, this time because he had no idea. "I don't suppose they would stand around out front too often. It would be too easy to be seen."

They all stopped and turned around, looking for another way out. It took some searching through the maze of old, musty corridors, but they finally found a door that led to the back alley. The door, although it creaked, opened without difficulty.

The alley was full of garbage, some which had been dropped; the rest had probably been blown or washed in.

"Doesn't look like the NID have been here", Daniel commented.

"No, I do not believe they have Daniel Jackson. It is an opportunity for us."

Daniel looked at all the crap piled in the alley and sighed. "Yeah Teal'c, an opportunity!"

They spent the next hour sifting through all the garbage. Fortunately, most of it was dried cartons and papers from fast food restaurants, old newspapers and other bits of refuse. Teal'c did find a dead mouse and Daniel came across someone's left over lunch, which produced an 'eww', from him, but otherwise most of everything was innocuous – and useless.

"Well would ya look at that!", Jack was squatted down by a small window well. He took a pencil from his pocket and carefully lifted something. Sam moved closer until she could see what it was.

"Pall Mall", she exclaimed. "Abel's cigarette brand."

"Yeah, and there are some butts as well."

She looked down to see a small pile of almost totally smoked cigarettes. "Daniel, give me one of your sample bags." He handed her one of the bags he had brought in case they were able to find anything. She knelt down beside the Colonel and they scooped their 'find' into the baggy and sealed it up.

"You don't think we should leave it here and call someone?" Daniel wondered.

"No. The NID will simply make sure everything get's 'lost'. No, this way we can take the stuff and have in analyzed."

"What good will that do?" the archaeologist asked.

"It may help us to trace Abel", Jack answered. "If we can find him – then we can get Samuels."

"Then let's get this stuff analyzed", Daniel replied calmy, "cause there's nothing I want more than to catch that bastard!"

"You and me both, Danny. You and me both!"


	16. The Cabin

They decided to go to Jack's cabin until they got the results back from Walter. They'd couriered the cigarette butts to him and he was taking them to a lab to get analyzed. He would then hack into the government's data base to try and match the finger prints. They were relying on Walter to keep things under the radar.

His team, other than Teal'c, had never been to the cabin and he hated the fact that it was under these circumstances that they were going for the first time. Still, it was great that they were willing to come with him. Sam _had_ turned a bit pink when he'd suggested it, but other than that had readily agreed.

As they drove north along the Minnesota roads, he couldn't help but sigh. If only he could be bringing her here for personal reasons rather than in the quest to find his kidnappers. He wondered briefly about her relationship with Pete. He hadn't heard anymore about it but was curious. He also knew, however, that he really didn't want to even acknowledge that the other man still existed. Maybe he'd gotten killed in the line – no, stop that Jack. Don't even think something like that! He knew Pete was a good man – otherwise Sam wouldn't like him. He just wished Pete would – disappear. Hey, maybe if he called the Asgard they could – stop!

What the hell are you doing Jack, he asked himself? Stop torturing yourself and let her go. Let her be happy for God's sake. She's found someone – nice – just be glad for her.

"Are you okay Jack?" Daniel asked from the seat beside him.

"Huh? What?"

"I'm just wondering if you're okay. You look like you're going to break the steering wheel."

Jack glanced down and realized that Daniel was right. He was holding the damn thing so tightly his hands had gone white! He consciously relaxed and glanced at his friend. Teal'c and Sam were talking softly to each other in the back seat. "Sorry – just thinkin' about something."

"Samuels?"

"Who? Oh, yeah – I mean yeah."

Daniel looked skeptically at him. "What is it Jack? Are you sure you're okay? Maybe we shouldn't be doing this."

"What? Going to my cabin?"

"No, I mean looking to find Samuels. Maybe we should just leave it alone."

"Are you crazy Daniel? There's no way I'm going to let that bastard – those bastards – get away with this. Besides, they'll just keep coming after me and the next time I probably won't get away."

"What about asking Thor to help get rid of him?"

For a second there Jack wondered if Daniel was referring to his thoughts about getting rid of Pete but then realized they were still talking about Samuels."

"No – even though the man is an evil son of a – he deserves a fair trial – otherwise we're no better than some of the people we fight!"

"Okay – although personally, I wouldn't mind sending him on a one-way paid vacation to Netu!"

"Daniel! I'm surprised at you. You're the one that's supposed to be our conscience. What happened?"

"What happened is that the bastard went after my best friend and hurt him. Philosophically I agree that he deserves a fair trial. Emotionally – I would like to take a staff weapon and fry him until he was a pile of goo!"

Jack was touched – really touched – by Daniel's show of anger and support. He knew from his voice that his friend was serious. God Samuels – you really don't know what you're in for! Jack was pretty sure that Daniel Jackson, in this state, was every bit as dangerous as any of the rest of them – and Samuels would never expect it.

"Thanks Danny", he said softly, glancing sideways at his friend. Suddenly, his mood lightened considerably. To hell with Samuels – to hell with Pete – to hell with Goa'ulds and aliens and threats of world domination, he was going to his cabin with his best friends. And he planned to have some fun!

"Okay, let's sing everybody!" he cried. "Who knows a good road song?"

The silence in the car was so thick it would have been funny, except that Jack was in too good a mood to notice. "Come on guys!"

"Jack, are you sure you're okay?" Daniel asked.

"Of course Daniel", he grinned. "In fact, I'm great."

Suddenly, from the back seat, came the slightly off-key voice of Sam Carter. "Hit the road Jack, and don't ya come back no more, no more, no more, no more-"

With a laugh, Jack joined in and for the next hour they sang a variety of songs, eventually even getting Teal'c to join in, his deep base voice sounding rather funny as they sang some kids songs. However, the thing that tickled Jack, more than anything, was the fact that Sam couldn't really sing. He'd finally found _something_ his 2IC wasn't good at – and he loved it!

"Enough Jack! My throat is getting sore." Daniel couldn't take another verse of Jack singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall – although he did have to admit that the Colonel had a great voice. He was actually quite surprised to know that Jack could sing.

"Oh – yeah okay. So, anyone for a game of Eye Spy?"

Daniel, Teal'c and Sam were never so happy to arrive somewhere as they were to turn into the road to Jack's cabin. There was nothing more exhausting than a bored Jack, except for a 'happy' Jack. They'd never seen him quite so 'up' before and Sam hoped it wasn't fake or the precursor to a major crash.

His good spirits seemed to last well into the evening. He'd clearly loved showing his friends around his cabin and even a bit of the outside, although it was getting too dark to see much. That he was proud of this place and that it was special to him, was obvious. Sam had gotten quite choked up when Jack had showed her to what must have been Charlie's room. It still had kids stuff around and looked like it hadn't been used in a long time, although it was clean.

"Sorry about all the stuff", he'd said quietly. He didn't seem sad, just lost in thought as he looked at the models and toys spread around the room. There were a number of children's books on the shelves and even some action figures sitting by the bed. Jack slowly walked forward and picked them up and placed them carefully on one of the shelves.

"Jack, I can sleep on the couch if you'd rather me not use this room", she offered.

He looked at her, startled. "What? No – no it's fine. You're welcome to use it. In fact there's nobody I'd rather -" his voice faded and he stared at her, as if realizing what he was going to say probably wasn't appropriate, or wise. "You're welcome to stay", he finally said. "I – it's been like this for too long. It needs to be aired out and – brought back to life."

She nodded, understanding that he was talking about more than just the room. "Thank you", she said softly, a gentle smile touching her face.

Later that evening Sam could tell that the Colonel was in a quieter mood, but he didn't seem depressed. He was calmer than she'd seen in a while, and certainly more mellow. Oh, he'd laughed a few times and had even teased Daniel, but he'd lost the hyper edge he'd had earlier.

Later that evening, as she was getting ready for bed, she happened to glance out the window and saw him standing on the deck, looking out towards his small lake. She wondered what he was thinking about – and whether she should go talk to him. For some reason, she felt like there was something simmering, just under the surface that needed to be brought out. She thought back to that brief time with him on the Nox world. Maybe now was the time to deal with that.

She had just gathered her courage enough to make her way out when she saw him turn and head back in. Another missed opportunity!

The next day Jack insisted that she try fishing. Teal'c absolutely refused and stated that he would 'stay inside away from your voracious flying creatures, O'Neill.' Sam was pretty sure that mosquitoes were, in Teal'c's eyes, every bit as bad as any system lord he'd encountered.

"Your loss buddy!" Jack had muttered.

"I believe it is, rather, the insects' loss!" Teal'c responded in a dignified voice.

"Scared of little bitty bugs Teal'c?"

"Indeed O'Neill."

Daniel tried fishing, for a short while, but couldn't get the hang of the rod and reel. When he'd eventually hooked the Colonel in the – buttock – Jack sent him back to the cabin.

"Go read a book or look for ruins or something Daniel", the Colonel said in disgust.

"Ruins? What kind of ruins are there in northern Minnesota?"

"I don't know – maybe some ancient Inca or something got lost and came up here."

"Inca?" Daniel looked at him, not quite sure if he was serious or not. "Uh, maybe I'll go join Teal'c."

"Yeah, you do that Daniel. And – STAY AWAY FROM MY FISHING HOOKS", the Colonel shouted, rubbing his posterior.

"You okay Sir", Sam bit her lip to keep from laughing. She was sure it had been painful. It was a good thing that Janet insisted they kept up on their tetanus shots, otherwise she would have had to drive him to the hospital. She could just imagine how well _that_ would have gone over.

"Fine Carter. God, how did he not kill himself on all those digs?"

"You know he's an expert at archeology Sir. It's just – fishing – and camping, and hunting, and hiking and – driving and other things – that he has trouble with."

He looked at her in wonder. She was amazing! She was the only person he knew who had a sense of humor quite like his. Although he found her gorgeous and compassionate (he didn't even need to say brilliant) he admitted to himself that her ability to laugh – at his jokes, at herself and – yes, admit it – at him – was what had made him fall in love with her.

"Are you okay Sir?" she finally asked. "Is your – uh – backside sore?"

He suddenly burst out laughing. God, what a pair they were. They'd lived through more than probably any human beings in history, had all died and come back, had been infested by aliens, watched each other be tortured, etc, etc, etc, - and she was shy about referring to his butt! What the hell was wrong with them?

"Sir?" she asked.

"Carter, do you ever wonder about our lives – about how crazy they are?"

"Frequently Sir."

"Oh? And what is your conclusion?"

"That as crazy as my life is, I wouldn't change it – nor would I change who I spend it with."

"No, neither would I Carter." After a few seconds he turned to her and grinned. "So, do you think we should get Daniel to try the canoe?"

They spent the rest of the day fishing and, contrary to all the rumors, there _were_ fish in Jack's pond. She wondered why he told people there weren't any.

"It's because I only want to bring people I like", he said. When she frowned in confusion he continued. "That's why I tell people there aren't any fish. If they knew how good it was I'd get people asking to use the cabin all the time. This way I get to choose who comes."

"Oh" she responded. How the hell did he know what she'd been thinking?

"Carter, we've worked together for 7 years. I can read you like an open book", he answered her silent question, although he wasn't even looking at her.

She kind of wondered how much he could really tell about her. Did he know how she felt about him? If he did, and didn't say anything that could either mean he didn't feel the same, or that he was too worried about the regs. If he didn't know – that begged the question of why not! Surely he must know.

"Stop it Sam" he said softly, as he cast another line.

"What?"

"Stop thinking so much and just enjoy the day. That's the whole point of fishing you know. You let all your worries go and just concentrate on the fish. You'll notice that fish swim happily along, not bothered by anything. They don't worry and they don't _think!_"

"No Sir – that's probably why they get caught on a hook and eaten for supper!"

"Touché Carter!"

Just then Daniel shouted that Walter was on the phone. "Sorry, I better go get this. It might be about the finger prints. Uh could you hold my rod – my _fishing_ rod?" Crap, he could feel his face turn red. He was pretty sure he saw a tiny smirk on Carter's face.

"Sure Sir. I'll look after it _very _carefully."

"Okay – uh – good. I'll be right back. Just watch that hook – you don't want to snag anything."

He was pretty sure he heard her say 'yes I do'. What the hell did she mean by that? He had a hard time not putting his hands over his butt. Suddenly he smiled – getting caught by Samantha Carter would definitely be an experience _not _to be missed.

By the time he arrived at the cabin, he was whistling. Unfortunately, that didn't last long.

"Colonel O'Neill", he answered. He listened for a few minutes, his face growing more serious by the moment. "Thanks Walter – I owe you for this. Okay, bye for now." He slowly hung up the phone, a faraway look in his eye.

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"What did Walter have to say?"

"Uh, he found out who the print belonged to."

"Really? Was it Abel?"

"Maybe", he answered.

"Maybe? What do you mean by that?"

"The finger prints belong to a Captain Jason Bronsky. He's a retired Air Force officer – fought in the 1st Gulf War and was honorably discharged after being wounded. It could be that he simply took the name Abel or it might mean that there's someone else involved."

"What – an _Air Force Officer_ – god, why would someone like that be involved? Did you see anyone else?"

"No, just the three of them – mostly Abel and the guy who's dead."

Daniel could tell that the news had disturbed Jack. It wasn't that he was so naïve as to believe everyone in the Air Force was good – he'd been around long enough to know better. Still, it felt somehow life family – and it also made them wonder who else could be involved.

"Did he say anything else? About Bronsky", Daniel added, when Jack looked at him in confusion.

"Uh – yeah. He said he was originally from Montana – just south of Great Falls - and that he'd been raised on a cattle ranch. His parents are dead but he has a sister in Spokane. She claims she hasn't seen him in years. That's all he could find."

"Well, we could try Montana, although if he's hiding from Samuels that'd be the last place he'd go."

"I know." There's something -" Jack was trying to remember back to something he'd heard – something that Abel had said to Gerry. He'd been strapped to the table and they had been taking a 'break'. Jack had been pretty much out of it – as usual – but he did remember the occasional conversation between the two men. It had seemed bizarre to him, even at the time, that they could torture a man one minute and the next be talking about the previous day's football scores.

"What the hell was it?" he asked.

"What was what Jack?"

"Something he said – I know it could be important but it just-" He suddenly looked up and snapped his fingers. "That's it! I think I know where we can find Abel – or Bronsky."

"So they are the same person."

"Oh yeah – they're the same person all right! One day when – well, one day he was talking to Gerry about his 'first love'. Told him that when he was younger he'd been in the rodeo. Yup – bragged about being one of the best bare-back riders around."

"So you think -?"

"I think we need to find out where there are some rodeos going on because that's where I think we'll find dear Abel!"

Just then Sam walked in the cabin, Jack's fishing rod still in her hand. "Is everything okay Sir?" she asked. She'd worried when he hadn't returned.

"Yup – everything's fine Major. We're going to a rodeo!"


	17. The Good, The Bad

_**Sorry for taking so long to get back to this! Hope you enjoy.**_

This was the fifth rodeo they'd checked out and still no Abell. Who the hell would have known there were so many rodeos happening all over the country. He kind of thought they'd died out years ago but he'd obviously been wrong. So, here they were, at another rinky dink rodeo, full of horses, bulls and cowboys – oh, and cowgirls – he didn't want to be sexist!

The only positive things about this whole experience were his friends. He glanced sideways and couldn't help but grin. Yeah – having them with him made it all worthwhile.

"You do not have to laugh O'Neill", Teal'c said sternly, not looking at him. "You have seen me many times like this. I believe there is no longer a need for humorous statements about my manner of dress."

"Oh, yes there is Teal'c! You're just so – so 'big' and 'bad'." He couldn't help but laugh out loud, even though his companions all rolled their eyes. Hey – a guy couldn't help it if he found a 6'3' African American cowboy (well, Chulakian actually, but nobody else would know that), dressed totally in black, with a huge shiny silver belt buckle, huge snake-skin cowboy boots (private joke that one) and a black hat pulled low on his forehead. Teal'c looked – amazing! The only problem was he didn't help their attempt to 'blend in' with the crowds.

Then of course there was Daniel.

"I don't need to hear your comments either Jack", the archaeologist muttered, a scowl on his face. Jack did feel a bit sorry for Daniel – he had given him a hard time. But the fact was, Daniel _didn't_ look like a cowboy – even though he was wearing the correct clothes. No, he was afraid Daniel simply looked like a geek in jeans and a cowboy hat. He just didn't have the – swagger – to really look like a cowboy and the glasses through off the whole affect. Still, it was definitely worth it. Jack hadn't had so much fun in ages.

And then there was Sam. Hell – she was the hardest to deal with. Not because she looked funny – no, the problem with Carter was she looked sexy as hell! She wore tight jeans, boots and a skin-tight shirt which showed off all her curves. Even the hat made her look hot. He'd had his share of fantasies about her but now, in cowboy gear – God, he'd had more cold showers in the last couple of weeks than he'd had in years.

"Sir – are you okay?" He jerked back, startled. Sam was standing looking at him with a frown. He must have phased out there for a few minutes. It was probably the cleavage, he decided.

"Sir?"

"What? Oh, sorry – just – thinking."

"About what Sir?" she asked, in all innocence.

"Breas –breakfast – yeah, breakfast – I mean, I'm kinda hungry."

"Yeah, you had kind of a hungry look about you Jack", Daniel smirked. He looked over at the younger man, his eyes narrowed suspiciously. Daniel gave him a knowing look in return. Hell, the man knew exactly what he'd been thinking.

"Well then, lets go get something to eat!"

"I do not believe I can tolerate anything more that is 'barbequed', O'Neill", Teal'c gave a long-suffering sigh. "I also do not wish for more corn on the cob, corn dogs, hot dogs, pulled 'anything' or deep fried donuts."

"No? But Teal'c – that's real American food. Where's your patriotism?"

"I fear it is in the same location as fresh fruit and vegetables."

Carter giggled as she looked at 'her' men. God, it was so good to have the Colonel back with them. Even though their mission was a serious one, she couldn't remember having such a good time in a long while. There was something about the four of them together that made everything see _right_.

They finally found a place that served salads as they all pretty much agreed with Teal'c that they couldn't take any more 'rodeo food'. Jack looked at his friends as they all sat there eating and suddenly felt guilty. They'd been on the road now for two weeks. They must all have much better things to do than to babysit him! Each of them had a life – especially Sam. Was it fair of him to expect her to come along with them when she had someone at home?

"Sam", he finally said, "won't – uh – Pete be missing you?" He hadn't really meant to ask that – it had just slipped out of its own volition. He really wished he could take the question back when he saw the 'deer in the headlights' looks on Teal'c and Daniel's faces. He didn't want to look at Carter, although the choking sound that came from her made him _really_ regret asking.

"Jack", Daniel said in a strangled voice. Teal'c, the coward, began to study a piece of tomato in his salad as if he'd never seen such an unusual food before.

"What?" he finally said. "What did I do? I was worried that Sam – that Pete – hell, I was only making conversation!"

"Pete and I broke up months ago Sir", Sam said quietly.

He whipped his head around to look at her. This time he was the one whose eyes looked as if they were ready to pop out of his head. "Huh?" Well, that was intelligent O'Neill! He glanced back at the men, only to see that Daniel was carefully contemplating a piece of radish. What was it about vegetables today?

"We broke up Sir, a long time ago."

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" he managed to ask. Was that his voice that sounded so – squeaky?

"We thought you knew Jack." Daniel finally lifted his head to respond.

"And how the hell would I know? No one said anything."

"Major Carter has not spoken of Pete Shanahan for many months O'Neill", Teal'c added. "Did not that give you a clue?"

"No Teal'c – it didn't give me a _clue_!" he answered sarcastically. "It's not like she exactly chatted away about him before!" He heard another 'choke' but refused to look at Carter. Damn but he wanted to crawl under the table. Oh well – he'd just stuck his foot in his mouth big time so he'd better do something about it.

"I'm sorry Carter – I had no idea or I wouldn't have said anything. I hope – I hope – I'm just real sorry."

"You are?" she asked, surprised.

"No – I mean yes – I mean, I hate to see you hurt or anything and I know breaking up can be hard." Not as hard as making a fool of yourself with your second in command, he decided. Come on, can't some system lord _please_ attack right now!

"I wasn't hurt Sir", she said calmly, taking a bite of her salad. "I knew that he wasn't the right man for me, that's all. I realized I was just 'settling'."

"Oh." Well, _now_ what the hell was he supposed to say? Daniel and Teal'c were both looking at him expectantly, as if it was obvious when, in fact, he was absolutely clueless. Surely they didn't think he was going to ask her about 'settling'. "Well, I'm glad you're okay then."

"Yes Sir", she said, crunching on a piece of carrot. He had a suspicion that she was laughing at him but didn't want to push it. No – what he really wanted to do was stand up and flee as fast as his legs could carry him. _This_ was why men were terrified of women. No matter how hard they tried, they eventually put their foot in their mouth when it came to relationships.

"Jack!" Daniel said again.

"_What_ Daniel? What do you want?" Daniel simply pursed his lips and shook his head. Damnit! What did they want of -" He suddenly saw something across the room. He didn't know what it was, but it made him stop and stare.

"Jack?" Daniel had noticed his sudden pause and this time was asking what was wrong.

"I don't know Daniel", he answered quietly. "I just thought I saw -" There it was again. Someone was standing over in the corner, his back towards them, but Jack was sure he recognized the man.

"It's him", he hissed when the man turned around. "Don't look, but it's Abell – he's standing over in the corner. I'm pretty sure he hasn't seen us yet." Jack carefully looked around the room and, as far as he could tell, there were just two exits – the door over to their left, by which they'd entered and a door in the back, closer to where Abell was standing. "Teal'c, when he's not looking, make your way outside and hurry to the back door. Watch for him. Daniel, Sam, the two of you stay here and keep your eyes on him. If he heads out, follow him – but carefully – he's smart and dangerous."

"What are you going to do Jack?" Daniel asked.

"Me? I'm going to just sit here and finish my lunch."

He kept his eyes on the figure of Abell, so didn't see the looks that passed between his friends. If he had, he wouldn't have been surprised. He knew they were worried about him. It was true – seeing Abell had given him a jolt – of both shock and fear. He had managed to bring it under control pretty quickly though and now simply felt anger. His time with the Nox had helped him to come to terms with what had happened to him. He was no longer terrified and on the verge of madness. It didn't mean however, that he was about to lie down and forget it. No, this man – and Samuels – had to pay for what they'd done. They'd stolen months out of his life and practically destroyed him. He was not about to forget his time with this man – and he certainly wasn't going to let him get away with it.

"O'Neill, will you be alright?" He looked up, surprised, to see Teal'c still standing beside him. He realized then how concerned his teammates were. He gave a small smile.

"I'm fine guys, don't worry. I just don't want him to notice me which he will if I stand up. I want you all in place before I make my move." He looked at each of them and finally sighed. "Go! I'm okay, I promise!"

With a final look at him, and then at each other, the three of them moved out. Sam walked to the main door and left quietly. Daniel moved over until he had a clear view of that same door and sat down, looking as if he was just here to eat some lunch.

It was only a few short minutes later when Abell headed towards the back door and slipped out. Although he hadn't looked worried, he was naturally cautious and would do whatever he could to keep himself safe. Jack stood up as soon as he'd gone and motioned to Daniel. He then headed out back.

As soon as he'd left the building he saw Teal'c a couple hundred of feet ahead clearly following his kidnapper. Jack reached under his vest to his radio and gave a quick click and then spoke softly. "Daniel, Sam, he left out the back door. Teal'c is following and I'm not far behind. Come out back – but be careful."

Jack stayed in the shadows as much as possible, but kept Teal'c in his sight. He saw the big man stop and lean up against the side of a small building. Jack sauntered over casually until he was right beside his friend.

"So?' he asked softly.

"He has gone into that small trailer, O'Neill", Teal'c indicated a small camper about 15 feet from where they were standing. "I do not believe there is anyone in there, but I cannot be sure."

"Good – thanks Teal'c." They waited quietly for another couple of minutes until the remainder of their team had arrived. Jack gave them quick instructions and then moved towards the small mobile home.

It was Sam who walked up to the door of the camper and knocked. Jack was pretty sure that Abell must have seen a picture of each of them, but hopefully he wouldn't recognize Sam right away with her hat on and looking so casual in jeans. It was also extremely bright out and Abell would probably have trouble identifying someone right away.

"Yeah?" Jack could hear the voice he remembered from his nightmares. "Whatya want sweatheart?" He obviously hadn't recognized Carter – at least not yet."

"I was told to come to this trailer to see about a job", she replied. "The man at the gate said you might have something for me?"

"Sorry babe, but you've got the wrong trailer. You want the one on the other side of the fairground. This is my place."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you."

"No problem. Hey, you want to come in for a drink?" Abell had just noticed that the woman in front of him was a babe. His eyes narrowed suddenly! There was something about her – "hey, do I know you?"

"I don't think so", Sam answered, not sounding the least bit nervous. "Are you from around here?" she asked. "I've been here my whole life. That's why I'm looking for work. I figured this was a great way to see some of the world – or at least some of our country."

As she was talking, Jack made his way slowly up to the trailer from the side. He could see Daniel and Teal'c watching things closely from the opposite side. He was proud to see that Carter was being extremely careful in not getting too close to Abell . She was a good soldier.

"Hey babe, why don't you come in. You can start seeing some of the world right here! I can take you places you've never been before!" Abel said.

Jack rolled his eyes and felt like he wanted to vomit. The man might have been a master at torture, but he sure didn't know how to pick up a woman!

"Thanks but that's okay. I really just want a job." Sam smiled and began to turn. At the last minute, Jack could see Abell's face change and his eyes light up with sudden recognition.

"Major Samantha Carter!" he hissed. "You thought you could fool me, didn't you?" Jack could see him reach into the back of his pants and moved quickly. He ran from his position beside the trailer and vaulted over the small handrail and onto the steps. Sam quickly moved out of his way but pulled out her own weapon.

Jack launched himself at the other man, leading with a fist to the face. Although it hurt, he relished the sound and feel of his fist hitting the man so hard he could hear the resounding 'thud' like a clap of thunder. Abell flew backward, into his trailer and landed on his back against the small dining table.

In a matter of seconds Jack and the rest of Sg1 were inside the camper with the door closed. Jack had grabbed Abell and pulled him up. Sam quickly reached around and removed the pistol tucked into the back of his pants and then did a quick pat down and pulled out the knife he had concealed in his socks.

"I think that's it Sir", she replied.

"Good. Sit down", he said to Abell, pointing to the small couch. Abell looked at each of them but finally decided he didn't have a hope in hell of making it out with these four so sat down without further resistance. "Teal'c, if he tries to escape, kill him."

"I will O'Neill", the Jaffa replied calmly. Jack wanted to grin when he saw the sweat appear on Abell's face.

"So, it's been a while", he said to the man who had caused him such pain. He was quite proud of himself for how well he was holding on grimly to his emotions when what he really wanted was to beat them man to a bloody pulp.

"What do you want O'Neill?", the other man asked. "If you're here to kill me, just get it over with. I'm not telling you anything."

"No, I didn't expect you to. I just wanted to see you one last time before I turned you over to the Goa'uld."

Abell reacted with absolute terror. Good, thought Jack, he knew something about the Goa'uld! "Yeah, I thought and thought about what I'd do for revenge and decided that anything I did would be over too soon", he explained calmly. "The Goa'uld, however, have sarcophaguses" he turned to Daniel, "or is it sarcophagi? Anyway, I made a deal with one of them. As you know, we've managed to rid the galaxy of most of the snake-heads and the rest are running pretty scared of us Tauri. So, when we offered to leave him alone on his teensy, insignificant planet in exchange for a little favor – he jumped at the chance. You see, we asked him to take you and – play - with you for a long, long – loooong – time. He was more than happy to oblige."

"No! You can't do that O'Neill. I have rights! You can't just kidnap me and send me to another planet."

"Why not? You kidnapped me so I think it's only fair."

"They won't let you!" Abell sounded almost like he was going to cry.

"Who won't let me?" O'Neill asked. "No one but my team knows I'm here or that I'm looking for you. We're all just on vacation, teaching Teal'c about an American past-time. No one will ever know but us that you've been taken off-world. Oh, us and my little friend Thor. He's going to be here in", Jack looked at his watch, "about an hour. I've asked him to beam you up and deliver you to Thotheris for us. He was more than happy to help out. He doesn't like it when his friends are kidnapped and tortured."

"But he'll allow me to be taken and tortured?"

"Uh – yeah", Jack answered, as if surprised Abell would even ask.

"O'Neill, you can't do this. I – I don't believe you. You're bluffing. There's no way you'd do this."

Jack looked at Abell and remembered. He remembered being tortured and humiliated for weeks by this man. "Oh, I could Abell", he said, so quietly the others barely heard him. "All I have to do is remember our time together and then I know I want you to suffer – to suffer like I did – but for you, there'll be no way out. You'll feel pain and you'll die, only to be brought back again and again until you're begging to die one last time. Pretty soon there'll be nothing left of you. Oh, your body will be healthy and you will continue to feel pain – but your mind will start to fail and you'll go mad." He stopped and had to take a deep breath. "Believe me, there is nothing I want more than to know you are going through that for eternity."

"No", Abell sobbed. "Please O'Neill, I'll do anything. Please don't do this."

"Why should I do anything for you? Did you show me any mercy? Did you listen to me when I begged you to stop?" Jack was so caught up in the memories he'd forgotten that his team were there, that they were listening. He'd also lost sight of why they were really here. All he could think of was that he truly did want this man to suffer.

"I'll give you Samuels", Abell said. "I have the proof that he engineered this. I'll give it to you if you just let me go."

It took a second, and Sam's hand on his arm, to bring him back. He stared at Abell, who by now was blubbering uncontrollably and finally had to shake himself. This is what he had wanted all along, a way to get to Samuels, but still, he really wanted to hurt this man. So much so that it was scaring him. "Why should I let you get away with what you did?" he asked.

"Because, Samuels was behind the whole thing, he just paid me to do a job."

"He paid you to torture me?"

"Yes, yes. He wanted you to suffer as much as possible."

"I thought he wanted the information from the Ancient download."

"That too, although he said if he couldn't get it at least he'd make you suffer. He really hates you."

"And you say you have proof that he was behind this whole thing?"

"Yes – I'm not stupid. I knew he'd go after me once it was all over. I made sure to let him know that I'd recorded him and that I had video of him coming to see you."

"Where is this proof", Jack asked, his voice practically a whisper.

"I – I'll show you, but only if you promise to let me go afterward."

"Let you go? No, I'm afraid that's not ever going to happen. Even if I could justify letting you get away with what you did to me, there's no way I'd let you do that to someone else. No, my offer is a fair trial, here on earth, or I have Thor take you to the System Lord. It's your choice."

Abell looked both terrified and furious. It had to gall him to have been caught like this. Still, after a few moments consideration he looked at O'Neill. "Fine, I'll take the deal." Jack nodded, but knew that they'd have to watch the man carefully. He was sure Abell would try anything to escape and, if he did, he was pretty sure that was the last they'd ever see of him.

That night, as he lay in bed, Jack couldn't help think back over the day. He'd thought he'd be elated when they captured Abell – instead, he felt soiled, dirty. All the memories of what this man had done had come rushing back and he felt ashamed, although he knew that was crazy. Still, he wanted this whole thing to be over and to be able to get back to his life.

That thought brought up something else. He'd forgotten, until this moment, what he'd found out today about Sam. So, she and Pete were no longer together! For the first time in hours he allowed himself a small smile.

Hell! Things weren't all bad. In fact, maybe things were looking up! With that he closed his eyes and was soon asleep.


	18. and the Ugly

_**So sorry for the long delay in getting this chapter posted. I promise to update regularly from now on! Warning – this chapter contains hints of torture and one or two descriptions not suitable for minors. There is nothing too graphic however. **_

_**Feedback – reviews – greatly appreciated! Thanks and Happy New Year.**_

The next day they got the van they'd been travelling in and put Abell in the back, where he couldn't be seen. Teal'c had begged for the privilege of guarding him – and Jack had agreed. He knew that Teal'c saw it as his duty to keep Abell from escaping. If he couldn't punish or kill the man in revenge for what he'd done to O'Neill, at least he'd insure he didn't get away.

Abell had told him that the evidence was hidden in a house in a small town in Northern California. It turns out an old buddy of his lived there and he'd gone to stay with him after dropping Jack off in LA. They had contacted Walter and told him they were headed west, but didn't give him any details. It wasn't that they didn't trust him, it was just that Samuels was too smart and had too many spys. They didn't want him discovering where Abell had left the video.

"You're sure Samuels doesn't know where you are?" Daniel asked the manacled man.

"No. If he knew I'd be dead", he said bluntly. "Look what he did to Gerry."

"How did you know about that?" Sam asked.

"I have my sources. Anyway, Gerry was a fool. I pretty much figured he'd do something stupid and Samuels would find him and kill him. Took less time than I thought though."

"But he knows you have evidence. Why would he kill you before he got a hold of that?"

"Oh, he wouldn't kill me right away. He'd torture me until I told him where it was and _then_ he'd kill me. If you thought I was bad O'Neill, you haven't seen Samuels in action. I did it for a living – he does it for fun!"

Jack looked out of the window, refusing to let Abell bait him. It was hard hearing his voice, it brought back too many horrible memories. He didn't believe Abell when he said he'd only done it as a way to make a living. He remembered too clearly – the man had enjoyed what he'd done."

"Did the good Colonel tell you anything about his time with us?" the prisoner asked casually. He spoke as if he was making simple polite conversation. "You would have been proud of him. He held out longer than most I've – worked on. I think it was almost a week before he started to scream. Wasn't that right Jack?" he raised his voice to the man sitting in the front seat. "Yeah, he kept pretty quiet, although when he did finally let loose – God, you'd have thought we were torturing him or something!" He laughed uproariously at his own joke.

"Just shut up Abell", Daniel finally spoke from the driver's seat. "We don't want to hear your sick ramblings."

"No? Oh, that's too bad, cause I thought you'd be real interested at hearing how he called out for each of you. Oh yeah, he begged you to come and help him. I think he cried for –ooph!"

Jack turned around at the sound of pain from the back seat. Abell was bent over and was throwing up in the back seat. Teal'c was sitting back with a satisfied look on his face.

"I apologize O'Neill, Major Carter, Daniel Jackson. I believe my hand slipped."

"That's quite alright Teal'c", Sam said, anger throbbing through her voice. "If yours hadn't, mine definitely would have."

"I am afraid we will need to stop and clean out the car", Teal'c continued. "Mr. Abell has lost his lunch."

Jack turned back and continued to stare out of the window. He felt so ashamed, and yet so grateful to his friends. He really didn't deserve them.

It took two solid days of driving before they reached the town Abell had told them about. He had said little or nothing after Teal'c had stopped him from talking. He continued to look quite green and Sam wondered if he'd suffered some internal damage from Teal'c's punch. It worried her slightly, although part of her was glad for any pain the man suffered. He truly deserved the fate Jack had described.

They finally reached the friend's house. Abell said his name was Marco Sanderson and he'd served together with him in the Air Force.

"He was injured and was given a medical discharge. He owns a small diner here but doesn't have much."

"Does he know about the video?" Jack asked. It was the first time he'd spoken to Abell in two days. He stayed as far away from the man as he could. When they'd stopped for the night Teal'c and Daniel would share a room with him and Sam stayed with him. Normally he would have found it extremely uncomfortable and awkward (or maybe enjoyable), but he was too caught up with everything and was desperately trying to deal with all the memories being with Abell had brought back.

"No. I hid it under some floor boards and I'm sure he doesn't have a clue. I just told him I needed a place to hole up in for a while and he let me stay. I gave him a bit of cash too, which helped."

"There's no way Samuels would know about him?"

"No. Marco and I weren't even in the same unit. We got to know each other through some – extracurricular activity. The Air Force didn't know anything about it and it wouldn't be listed anywhere."

Sam wondered briefly what the 'extracurricular' activity was – but then decided she was better off not knowing. She glanced at Abell and saw that he was looking at her with a leer on his face. She had a pretty good idea what he'd been up to then, and decided he was even worse than she'd thought.

"So, Marco is as big a slime ball as you are?" Daniel interjected. Abell just looked at him and shrugged.

"Okay, we're gonna go in there and you're going to introduce us as your friends. Teal'c will take you to get the video and then we'll leave. If you try anything -" Jack said.

"I know, I know, you'll kill me, etc. etc.. God, do you think I'm a moron O'Neill? "

"Well, now that you ask – yes", the Colonel answered. Sam and Daniel both grinned and Teal'c raised his eyebrow. Abell just scowled.

In the end it was just Teal'c and Jack who accompanied Abell to Marco's house. Daniel and Sam both sat watching the house, making sure that Abell didn't escape or that no one else came by.

"Hey", a pock-marked, skinny man answered the door. Jack instantly knew the type. This was a guy who would sell his own mother for a few bucks. He felt himself instantly on guard but watched Abell and was surprised that the man seemed so trusting of this Marco. Maybe he had a weak spot after all.

"Heya Marco! I hope you don't mind but I brought a couple of friends with me. I told 'em you were a good guy and that we could get some good ganja here."

Teal'c raised the perennial eyebrow, wondering what this 'ganja' was, but he knew enough not to ask. As they followed Abell into the house, Jack mouthed 'Marijuana' to the big man.

"Who are you?' Marco turned to Jack and asked bluntly. "You ain't no friend of Abell's."

"No, I'm not his friend. I do know that he's good at procuring things so I approached him for his help." When the other man looked blank, Jack realized he probably had the IQ of a gnat. "He told me you could get good stuff so I offered to pay him – and you – if you could find me some good ganja."

Marco's face took on a crafty, greedy look. The talk of money always cheered him up. "Yeah? How much you want? I only get the good stuff so it'll cost you."

"Oh, money is no object. I just want to make sure what you have is good quality. If it is, I'll want a regular shipment."

Marco began to see dollar signs in his future. With a regular, high paying customer, he could get out of this backwater and go somewhere where he could have a life. His dream was to live in Vegas and spend his days in the casino. This guy looked like his ticket to paradise.

"You want a sample? I can get you one tomorrow and you can see what you think. I guarantee it's good stuff. If you like it I can provide you with as much as you want."

"What about cops or the DEA?"

"Nah, there's only one cop around here and I've got him in my back pocket. He takes a cut and will stay out of our hair."

"Hey Marco", Abell suddenly interrupted. "Murray here needs to use the John. Can I show him where it is?"

"Yeah, but can't he find it on his own?"

"He's from Africa – doesn't know North American houses – or Johns. He's never seen a flush toilet before."

Marco shrugged, unsurprised. He figured most foreigners were idiots anyway and he didn't really care about some big African guy. He figured Murray was this guy Jack's bodyguard, but, since it looked like they were doing business together, he wasn't going to worry about him.

"Fine. Jack and I are gonna sit here and do business so show him the toilet – or the god damned washing machine for all I care."

After Abell and 'Murray' left, Jack proceeded to bargain with Marco for the 'Ganja'. He had no idea what the street value of Marijuana was so hoped he wasn't coming across as an idiot. He hadn't smoked a joint since his early days in the Air Force and was more than happy that the dealer didn't have any 'samples' with him. He didn't know what he would have done if he'd had to try and smoke one. If he was anything like he was when he was younger, he probably would have started to sing opera music. It would have been embarrassing to say the least.

It was only about 5 minutes before Abell and Teal'c returned and by this time he had a deal with Marco. From the pleased look on the man's face, Jack figured he'd probably just been taken to the cleaners. It didn't really matter since he wasn't actually going to pay the man – or return – so he shrugged it off. He wondered how Marco would feel once he knew it had been a con!

They left shortly after that and headed towards the end of the street where the van was parked. Once they'd all piled in they headed out of town.

"How do we know this is the real thing?" Of course it was Daniel who had to ask.

"You can watch it if you want", Abell said. The 'video' had been recorded on a small camera and then downloaded to a computer. Abell had taken a copy before it was destroyed and it was now contained on the small flash drive they'd recovered from Marco's.

Jack knew that Sam had her lap top with her and that they could watch it on that. However, the thought made him sick. The last thing he wanted was for his friends to see him being tortured. He figured the best thing was for him to verify that it was real, but he didn't know if he was up to seeing it himself.

"Let's find a Motel and we can worry about it then", Sam said, glancing worriedly at the Colonel. She suspected how he must be feeling.

It was almost an hour later before they found a place they could stay. Once they were all checked in Daniel and Sam ran across to the small restaurant and ordered take out for everyone.

"You think he's okay Daniel?", Sam asked as they walked back. "I'm worried about him. He's so quiet."

"I know. I think this thing with the video is really getting to him."

"Yeah", she agreed. "I – I really don't want to see it but I think we have to", she commented. "I think it bothers him that we're going to see what they did to him."

"I'm sure it does. He's a pretty private person and this has to be eating at him. I worry that he'll end up back the way he was before."

"No, I don't think so", Sam said. "I think he's mostly better but this has to be stressful. I just wish there was a way we could verify it without all having to watch it."

"Maybe we could ask Teal'c to do it. He's more used to this kind of thing and I think Jack would find that easier."

"I thought about that too", she said. "I'm afraid though that he'll get so angry he'll do something to Abell. It's not that I care about that idiot, but I wouldn't want Teal'c to get into trouble."

Daniel sighed. 'I'll do it", he said. "I can simply fast forward until we find the part with Samuels. Once we know it's legitimate we don't have to watch it anymore."

"Thanks Daniel, but that's not fair to you. Anyway, I want to copy it so that if something happens to the flash drive there'll be at least one other copy."

"How are you going to do that?" he asked.`

"Oh, I'll send it to a few safe locations. Even if Samuels finds one or two, he won't find them all."

When they brought back the food it was obvious that no one, with the exception of Abell, was hungry. Everyone picked at their food although after a couple of minutes Jack just pushed his away and stood up. "I'm going for a walk", he announced. "I need some fresh air. I can't stand the stench in here!"

Abell glanced up at that and grinned, his mouth full of food. "Your insults need a bit of work Jack", he said. "You were much wittier when you were tied to that table – although now that I think of it, your famed wit kind of deserted you when I used the cattle prod. If I remember correctly -"

No one would ever know what it was he remembered because, at that precise moment, Sam punched him in the nose. His head flew back and his plate of food went flying. He groaned and grabbed his nose. After a couple of seconds he pulled his hand away and it was covered with blood. "You hit me you bitch!" he yelled. He looked like he was about ready to launch himself at her when Daniel cracked him over the head with a beer bottle. It broke and beer, and more blood, began to run down his face.

Abell sat there groaning, while Jack went and retrieved a towel and threw it at him. He couldn't help a slight grin at how his team was 'protecting' him. He knew they were filled with a lot of anger as well and it was as hard for them to sit and put up with Abell as it was for him. Still, he knew he had to keep them from going too far. He didn't want them getting into trouble for his sake.

"Clean up and keep your god-damned mouth shut Abell. As you can tell, my team doesn't need much of an excuse to hurt you and believe me, if you keep opening your mouth I may find myself losing patience. And believe me, now that you don't have me strapped to that table, I can do you some serious harm!"

Abell glared at him, while trying to hold the towel up to his nose and over his head. Jack was pretty sure the wounds were superficial, but they couldn't take any chances.

"Daniel, get the first aid kit. We need to bandage him up and make sure no serious damage was done." He turned to his team and smiled slightly. "Thank you guys – I appreciate your 'defense' but we don't want to kill him."

"You are wrong O'Neill", Teal'c said calmly. "We do want to kill him. He deserves to die, for what he did to you."

Jack watched Abell's eyes grow big and had to bite his lip to keep from grinning. Instead, he sighed. "I know buddy, and we may get our chance if he tries something. But we really mustn't go around hitting him every time he says something – irritating."

"I'm sorry Sir", Sam said softly. Daniel just stood, his arms wrapped around himself, and looked defiant.

"Well I'm not. He deserved it!" the archaeologist said.

Jack laughed. "You don't need to be sorry Sam. That was a helluva punch and all I can say is I'm proud of you! As for you Daniel – you go Rock Boy! Just don't ever get angry at me like that!"

"_Rock Boy_?" Daniel said in disgust. "Where the hell did that come from?"

Jack looked innocently at Daniel. "The Nox", he said with a straight face. "that's what they call you."

Daniel looked at him in horror. "It is not Jack. You're making that up!"

"No I'm not Daniel. That's what they call you. You can ask Antaeus or Leia the next time you see them."

"What? But they didn't say anything like that when we -" He stopped suddenly when Sam's elbow hit him in the side.

Jack frowned. "When you _what_? When did you see them?"

"Uh – oh, I don't know. When was it we last saw the Nox Sam?"

She glared at him. "I don't remember Daniel. Uh Sir, about that walk, would you like some company?"

He looked suspiciously back and forth between his two friends but finally nodded. "Sure Carter, let's go."

They'd been walking in silence for almost 5 minutes before he spoke. "What was that all about Sam?"he asked.

"What was what Sir?" she answered, trying to sound unconcerned.

"You know, about the Nox. Have you guys seen the Nox recently?"

"Uh", she stopped, unsure as to what to say.

"Kind of Sir."

"_Kind of_? What does that mean Carter?"

"Well, they told us they were going to help you when you were – sick."

"Before Thor dropped me off?"

"Uh no, it was afterward", she said. Damn, she wished she was better at lying. She was definitely going to kill Daniel.

"Oh" He looked at her out of the corner of his eyes and could tell she was uncomfortable. There was something bothering him about this but he couldn't put his finger on it. Still, it was only logical that the Nox had been in touch with the SGC since he'd been with them for so long.

"Sam" he stopped, not sure how to continue.

"What is it Sir?" she asked, looking at him.

"I – thank you for everything" he said carefully. "You've all – given up a lot to help me and I can't tell you how much -"

"I know Sir", she answered when it appeared he was too tongue tied to continue. We all – care for you Colonel. We'll do whatever we can to help."

"I know", he said softly. "Sam, I have a favor to ask of you."

"Of course Sir, what is it?"

"I want to ask you _not _to look at that film. I know someone has to but I really don't want it to be you."

At first she was hurt, wondering if he saw her as weaker than the others – or maybe more judgmental. Surely he must know that she wouldn't think badly of him, no matter what he'd said or done. She knew that torture, especially prolonged torture, could make men or women say and do just about anything. "Sir", she went to explain when he interrupted.

"Sam, it's not that I don't trust you – I just – watching something like that, especially since it's being done to – a friend – is very hard and even harder to get out of your mind. I don't want you to have those memories and I really don't want you seeing me like that. Please", he turned and reached out and grasped her arms. "I'd trust you with my life – hell, with my soul – I just don't want to think of you seeing me like that."

She smiled tenderly at him and slowly nodded. "Okay Sir, I won't look – but it'll be just as hard on Daniel you know. Teal'c – well, he'll be more stoic about it but it will be painful for him too."

"I know. That's why I'm going to be the only one to watch it."

"Sir! Do you think that's wise? I mean, that's going to be awfully traumatic for you."

"Probably", he agreed, "but I already have those memories and I have to deal with them. I'll just fast forward until I reach the part with Samuels."

She knew there was no way to dissuade him, although she worried about how this would affect him. "Okay Sir, under one condition." Not, of course, that she had the authority to lay down any conditions, but he nodded. "That one of us is with you while you're watching it. We don't have to see the screen, but one of us does have to stay with you. Okay?"

He bit his lip but then finally nodded. He didn't say anything, but she was pretty sure he was relieved. She would like to have been the one to stay with him, but she figured it would be Daniel or Teal'c whom he would ask.

"Sam", he said suddenly. Surprised to hear her first name, rather than 'Carter' or 'Major', she halted and looked at him.

"Yes?"

"Would you – I mean – could – hell, would you stay with me?"

"Of course Sir. I'd be honored." For the rest of their walk they were silent. It was a good thing, thought Sam, because she was ready to burst into tears. God, how she loved this man!

By the time they returned they were both feeling calmer although Jack was looking rather pale. "Let's get this over with", he said as soon as he walked into the room. "I'm going to check out the video and make sure it's real. If it is, Carter is going to send it to some secure locations and then we'll head towards Washington and our meeting with Samuels."

Sam set up her computer in the room she was sharing with Jack. It was better not to have Abell present and this way it was just the two of them. She sat behind the computer, facing Jack. That way she could keep an eye on him as he watched the movie.

"Earphones", he said, knowing that hearing the video would be almost as bad as seeing it. She silently handed him her earphones and he plugged them in. With a nod at Sam he reached down and hit enter and the video started to play. He quickly began fast forwarding, all the while keeping his eyes on the screen.

He had to divorce himself from the blurry images. He could so clearly remember the thoughts and feelings that had run through him as he was being tortured and this was bringing it all back, even if he could not hear and only saw things in flying images.

According to Sam, there was about 96 minutes of tape. From what he had seen so far, it was taken from a number of different episodes and had been put together. It was pretty much an amalgam of some of the worst times. He began to feel sick as he watched the cruelty of the men who were abusing him. A part of him wondered how he'd survived with as much sanity as he'd had.

There was more than once when he'd had to close his eyes. At one point he'd had to stop the computer. He'd ripped out the earplugs and had raced into the bathroom where he'd thrown up. By the time he'd returned, he was shaky but ready to go on. He looked at Sam and she was paper white and had clearly been crying. What had he been thinking?

"Sam, you don't have to stay", he said gently.

She looked at him, fury in her eyes. "Damn right I'm staying Sir!" she'd answered. "And there's nothing you can say that will make me leave, I don't care if you court martial me – I'm not going!"

He looked at her in surprise and then in amusement and finally in affection. "Okay Major, you can stay." He grinned. "And thank you."

"You're welcome Sir", she answered fiercely. He was reminded of a mother bear guarding her cubs. Nobody better get in the way of Samantha Carter right now, he realized.

He took a deep breath and hit enter and continued to watch the video. There were a few other painful memories but for the most part he could handle what he was seeing. Every time it got too bad he'd look up and catch Sam's eye. It immediately calmed him down and he thanked God that she was with him.

He suddenly reached down and hit pause. This was it. This was the point where Samuels had come to watch, he was sure of it. He began to play it at regular speed, being forced to watch every humiliating, painful moment.

There! He heard Samuel's voice first and then his body entered the scene. I've got you, you bastard, he thought.

"_So O'Neill, I see you're been enjoying my hospitality", Samuels said, a smug smile on his face as he looked down at the broken and bloody man in front of him. "Whew O'Neill", the evil monster said, holding a Kleenex up to his nose, "don't you ever bathe? Someone should explain personal hygiene to you! You stink!"_

Considering the fact that his captors hadn't provided water or soap for bathing – that, added to the fact that some of the torture caused him to soil himself, it wasn't any wonder that he stank. Jack watched the video closely and was actually surprised that he remembered Samuel's visit at all. Looking at himself he really wondered how he'd survived. He looked half dead, lying there, and certainly didn't look as if he was coherent or aware of anything around him.

He watched, fascinated, as Samuel's picked up one of the tools off the tray his torturers had kept handy. He could tell it was a knife. He watched, in morbid fascination, as Samuels began to cut him, all over the chest and arms. He vaguely remembered this, although it was a foggy memory.

He did remember, quite clearly, the next scene. Samuels had held the knife to his genitals and had threatened to castrate him. Samuels had laughed then, and had cut him, although not seriously – just enough to make him whimper. He remembered thinking that the man was really going to carry through with his threat and he knew he would have wanted to die.

"Colonel. Colonel. JACK!"

He jerked back, startled, until he realized that it was Carter, trying to get his attention. He didn't know what was wrong but something had obviously disturbed her.

"Are you okay Sir?" she asked. What he didn't know is that she'd been watching him closely and had seen him begin to tense up again and to breathe quickly and shallowly. It was when tears had begun to run down his face that she'd grown frightened. It had taken her quite a while before she could get his attention.

"I'm fine Carter", he said, although clearly he was lying. "This is the tape." He reached over and hit stop and closed the video. "Make your copies and get them out. Then we're going after that ugly bastard!"

Jack sat, frozen, as Sam did her work. It was only when she finished and put the computer away, that he came out of his trance-like state.

"We'll get him Sir", she said, "Don't worry."

"You're right Carter, we will." His voice sent chills up her spine.

She closed her eyes, wishing it was all over and yet knowing that it was only the beginning!


	19. Friends in High Places

_**Just a short one tonight! Getting near the end - hope you enjoy and feedback GREATLY appreciated.**_

They drove steadily, hoping to reach Washington while it was still light out. Jack had said very little again and they knew he was dealing with what he'd seen in the video. His anger was palpable, and even Abell knew enough to keep quiet.

When they arrived they booked themselves into a motel in Arlington. They contacted General Hammond and told him they had the proof they needed and to warn the President. Jack wanted to face Samuels, but then he'd let the Air Force take over.

Sam was worried. She knew what Samuels was like and was very afraid he was going to get out of this one. He must have known it was possible that the tape would be found. He had to have a back up. She'd tried to talk to the Colonel about it but he'd shrugged her off. "It's okay Major", he'd said, "I have everything under control.

She'd told the others of her worriesand both Daniel and Teal'c had agreed. "Do not worry Major Carter. I will make sure he does not get away."

While that made her feel slightly better, she knew that once Samuels was out of their presence there wasn't much Teal'c could do. In fact, she was pretty sure that he'd arrange for Teal'c to 'disappear' if he thought he was a threat.

Oh well, there was nothing else they could do now. She might as well just rest, for tomorrow was going to be a busy day.

They heard from Hammond later that night. "He'll be in his office at 9:00 am tomorrow Jack. I can give you 15 minutes with him. Watch your back!"

"I will Sir, and thank you." Jack slowly hung up the phone and stared at it. Without saying anything he stood up. "I'm going for a walk."

Before Sam had a chance to say anything he turned to her and smiled. "Alone this time Carter, but thank you."

She watched him leave, even more worried than she'd been before.

He returned almost an hour later, and seemed a bit more relaxed. He even joked around a bit with them, although he refused to look at or speak to Abell. They were going to take him with them, but they were planning on leaving him in the van, with Teal'c. Once Samuels had been arrested they'd turn him over to the Air Force as well.

They rode over in silence the next day. When they arrived at the office building where Samuel's office was located, Jack got out and started walking. Daniel and Sam followed closely.

Jack stopped. "I'm going in alone", he announced.

"I'm sorry Sir", Sam started to say, but Daniel interrupted.

"No you're not Jack. We're both going with you so don't bother trying to stop us."

"I could order you to stay", he said softly. He could see Sam bite her lip, but she didn't' back down.

"Then you'll have to charge me Sir, because I am going with you and so is Daniel."

He sighed, but then smiled slightly. "Okay", he said and turned and started to walk.

Sam and Daniel looked at each other in surprise, wondering at how easy that had been. Daniel finally shrugged and followed the Colonel.

They arrived at Samuel's office and Jack didn't even bother to stop when the man's secretary started screeching at them. It was Daniel who finally turned and nicely told her to 'sit down and shut up'. Sam raised her eyebrows, rarely having heard Daniel speak like that. She nodded to the stunned woman and followed the men.

"Samuels", Jack said as he walked in and faced the man who had been responsible for his torture and confinement.

"O'Neill. I'd say it was a surprise, but it's not. I've been expecting you."

"Really?" Jack said. "Good, then you'll know this is the end."

"The end? That sounds rather melodramatic. The end of what?"

"The end of your corruption and treason. We have it all on tape you know. There's no way you can get away with what you did."

"Did? What did I do? I was part of a sting operation, that's all. We've been trying to track down traitors for months and it looks like we found them. Did you really think I was behind this whole thing? Sorry – I was looking for Abell and his buddy – and I guess we found them."

"Yeah – you killed Gerry before he could talk, but we have Abell and he's ready to give you up. He's already given us the video."

"I hope you didn't bring it with you", Samuels said with a worried frown. "I'm afraid my office has special equipment that destroys any kind of electronic memory card or video. Can't be too careful you know."

Sam looked surprised and glanced at Colonel O'Neill. She was even more surprised when she saw his expression. He almost looked sick.

"I don't believe you", he said to Samuels.

"I'm afraid it's true O'Neill – so if you have it with you – I'm sorry, it's really no good."

Jack took out the memory stick from his pocket and looked at it, anger in his face. Daniel too looked confused and glanced at Sam who shrugged slightly. O'Neill knew that she had made and sent numerous copies. Even if what Samuels said was true, it wouldn't matter. For some reason Jack was playing with the man.

Just then Samuel's phone rang. "If you'll excuse me", he said. He picked up the phone and listened. With a small smile he said, 'thank you' and hung up.

"I'm so sorry", he said. "I'm afraid there was a shooting outside and a known fugitive by the name of Abell was killed. You're friend – Teal'c is it – was injured but they said he'll be okay. I'm really sorry. I guess you were hoping that he'd help convict me. I'm afraid he's no use to you anymore."

Damn, they should have known! The man was evil, and smart! Neither Daniel nor Sam could feel much sympathy for Abell, but it looked like Samuels was working hard to get out of what he'd done.

"It won't matter Samuels. We still have you." Jack said.

"No you don't O'Neill. I've always been one step ahead of you. You see, even if you _do _have other copies of the film, I have friends in high places. They're going to make darn sure nothing happens to me. If I go down, so do they, so they have a vested interest in keeping me safe."

"I – see", Jack said slowly. "You know Samuels, I've known for a long time that you're a slimy bastard and a traitor. I swore, from the moment you came into that place and helped torture me, that I'd get you one day. But I also knew you were pretty smart and that you'd be sure to cover your ass. You think you've surprised me with any of this? I don't care about Abell – frankly, I'm glad he's gone. He was one sick bastard too. As for the video – well yes, I have other copies – lots in fact. You don't think we'd be stupid enough to simply have one do you? Oh, and one more thing" he said, to a suddenly worried looking Samuels, "you have friends in high places – but I have friends in _much _higher places than you do!"

Jack grinned and looked up. "Okay Thor, do your stuff!" Without further ado there was a flash of light and all four people were neatly transported from Samuel's office to a new location.

It took Daniel and Sam a few moments to realize that they were standing in the Oval Office, in front of the President of the United States. Over to the side were more bodies. Daniel turned and had to laugh. Boy, Jack was right when he'd said he had friends in high places!

"Samuels, I think you know the President?" Jack said. Hayes nodded to the very frightened looking Samuels. "You also know Senator Kinsey and Colonel Simmons as well as General Hammond?" The man looked a bit more hopeful when he saw his erstwhile conspirators, but his face fell when they refused to look him in the eye. He completely ignored Hammond.

"I don't think you know the rest of these folks however. I'd like to introduce you to Thor, Supreme Commander of the Asgaard Fleet, Lya and Antaeus, official representatives of the Nox; Master Bra'tac, official representative of the Free Jaffa, Jacob Carter and Selmac, from the Tokra Council, and Mr. Narim from the Tollan."

Samuels had heard of all of them, but had never met any but Jacob Carter. He began to sweat, unsure of what was happening, but knowing it was bad.

President Hayes started to speak. "It came to our attention, some time ago, that there was a conspiracy to try and obtain information from Colonel O'Neill;, information that was supposedly downloaded into his mind from an Ancient Library. You arranged to have him kidnapped and tortured, Colonel Samuels, and then arranged to have the men who had helped you murdered. I've seen the tape and it's clear you were involved."

Samuels went to speak and turned towards Kinsey, hoping to have the Senator speak in his defense. Kinsey looked away. "I can see I'm being hung out to dry", he said. "It wasn't only me, you know. They were in on it too." He gestured towards his co-conspirators who instantly began to deny their involvement.

"Enough" the President said calmly. "The reason I've brought you here is because we received the delegation in front of you. These – people – represent all the races that are allied with earth. They came on behalf of all their people to indicate that Jack O'Neill is considered extremely important to the fate of the entire galaxy."

Everyone, including Daniel, Sam and Jack himself, looked up in surprise. Jack began to look very uncomfortable.

"Jacob, maybe you would be so kind as to explain why you are here?"

"Certainly Mr. President", he said calmly. "We all believe, as you have said, that O'Neill is important, not only to the fate of the earth, but to all of our peoples. Although none of us would ever interfere with the sovereignty of earth, we did need to make it clear that we hold his safety of the utmost importance. None of our peoples could continue to ally ourselves with a race that didn't ensure the safety of one who was so important to all of us – and to also ensure that justice was meted out to those responsible for harming him."

"Thank you Jacob", the President said, "and to all of you. I appreciate your presence and I assure you that we will look after Colonel O'Neill carefully. Unfortunately, it may be somewhat difficult for us to ensure that all those who are guilty are punished. We hold sacred the law that says we must _prove_ guilt before we punish and in this case, that may be hard to do. Therefore, I have come up with what I believe will be an acceptable solution." He turned to the three he knew were guilty. "As far as Colonel Samuels in concerned, there is absolute proof of his involvement and he will be tried and punished accordingly."

Hayes looked contemptuously at the man in front of him. "You will be tried as a traitor and convicted", he said. "At the least I hope you rot in jail – my preference is to have you shot! As for you two", he faced Kinsey and Simmons, "we all know you were behind this, but that you've covered your tracks too well for us to touch you. So, I've decided that a time away from earth will do you both good. I've arranged for you to go on a mission as representatives of earth. Jacob here tells me there are some undercover missions where the Tokra could use a couple of people. Sadly they are quite dangerous but I'm sure you'll be very careful. You'll be going with him immediately."

"We have rights and there's no way we'll agree to this", Simmons said angrily. "You can't get away with this Henry!"

Simmons disappeared in another flash of light. "Oh yes I can", murmured the President. "Thank you Thor."

"You are welcome President Hayes. We will ensure he is on the mission for a very long time."

Kinsey was practically blubbering by this time. "Okay – I'll confess – I was involved, but I never agreed to torture. I simply wanted them to hold him until he told us what he knew. The torture was Simmon's idea – Simmons and Samuels."

"Kinsey you fool", shouted Samuels. "Just shut up!"

But the Senator couldn't shut up and was soon giving them more than enough information to hang them all. It was only when Simmons was 'beamed' back in that he realized he'd been had. He was spitting mad by that time, but it was too late. They had all they needed.

After the men were taken away, Jack sat down, exhausted by everything that had happened. After a few minutes he stood up again and managed to thank all his 'friends' for their support. He was quite overwhelmed, in fact, and stood talking quietly with Lya and Antaeus for quite a while. Their presence was always relaxing.

He also thanked the President, who grinned. "You know what you can do now Jack, don't you?" The Colonel grimaced but nodded.

"I'll think about it Sir", he said, although he didn't promise anything.

Finally all the aliens left, transported out by Thor. Jack, accompanied by Hammond, Carter and Daniel slowly walked out of the White House. They were surprised, and pleased, to see Teal'c waiting for them, his arm in a sling but otherwise looking well.

"Teal'c buddy – you okay?"

"Indeed I am O'Neill, although I regret to inform you that I did not do my duty. Abell was killed while in my custody."

"That's okay", Jack slapped him on the back. "He's probably better off that way anyway." Jack looked around, the moment they left the grounds, and took a deep breath. With a smile he turned to his friends. "Anyone feel like a beer?"

They all smiled and started walking. Maybe things would soon be back to normal.

Jack was the only one who knew things would never be the same.


	20. Goodbye and Farewell

Sam knew that it was supposed to be a celebration. They'd gotten the bad guys and the good guys were all okay – at least on the outside. The problem was, no one really felt in the mood for a party. It was a somber bunch that went out for a drink. They spoke softly and avoided any talk of Kinsey or Simmons or Samuels.

It was Daniel who finally asked Jack about their alien allies. "How did they happen to show up Jack? You obviously knew they'd be there."

"Not really", the Colonel replied. "I'd told Hammond what we were doing and he arranged for the Daedelus to be on standby. I knew the President had something up his sleeve, but I didn't know what. I was as surprised as you guys when I saw everyone standing there."

"But how did they _know_?' Sam asked. "Someone must have contacted them."

"I think it was Thor", Jack replied. "That little guy is a good friend – to all of us. From what Lya said he contacted them to tell them that we were in search of the guys who had kidnapped me – next thing he knew everyone had offered to come to earth on my behalf. She indicated it was the first time all of our allies had even gotten together. Hell, even the Tollan showed up", he said with disgust. If there was anyone he liked less than the Tokra (except for Jacob of course) it was the Tollan.

He'd never say anything, of course, but Narim gave him gas! The man was obviously smitten with Carter – and he was so far from being worthy of her that he was – hell, from another planet! As far as Jack was concerned, _no one_ was good enough for his major – and especially not some slimy, too good, too smart, clean cut guy like Narim. No – she needed someone with more class – with more pizzazz – hell, with at least a sense of humor! He knew there was nothing she liked more than a good laugh.

Jack frowned. He hadn't seen Carter laugh in a long time. He glanced over to where she sat, talking to General Hammond, and decided there and then he was going to have to do something about that. There was nothing she liked more than a good laugh – well, that was good, because there was nothing _he_ liked more than to _make_ her laugh.

They made an early night of it – all of them tired after the day's events. Jack thanked George Hammond and said goodnight to everyone. He also told them that he had someplace to go the next day, and that he'd see them in a few days in Colorado.

When he got up the next day and made his way to the lobby of the hotel, he found his teammates all waiting for him. "What are you guys doing", he asked, puzzled.

"We're going with you Jack", Daniel answered calmly. "You didn't think we were going to let you wander off by yourself did you? Not after all the trouble we went to to find you."

"Thanks guys", the Colonel answered, "I appreciate it, but this really is something I have to do by myself."

"What is it you must do O'Neill?", Teal'c asked solemnly.

"Uh – I have to go – to LA if you must know!" He wouldn't look at his friends, feeling embarrassed, but at the same time knowing it was vital that he went back.

"We're still going Jack", Daniel answered. "Look, we'll just stay at the hotel – or wander around while you do what you need to do. We won't bother you, we promise – but we're still not going to let you go out there by yourself."

He looked from one face to another and could tell when he was defeated. None of them was about to give in, and if there was anything Jack knew, it was when he'd hit an immovable object – or three such immovable objects!

With a sigh he shrugged. "Okay, but don't blame me if you get bored", he answered, secretly pleased they were going to be with him.

"I do not believe we will get bored O'Neill", Teal'c answered. "There is much to do in Los Angeles, California. I believe Mickey Mouse resides there and I would like to visit him."

"Yeah, and Dopey is there too – or at least he _will_ be." Daniel said under his breath, looking pointedly at Teal'c – who simply ignored him.

"Daniel", scolded Sam. "Mickey Mouse is an American Icon – of course Teal'c wants to see him!"

"Just make sure you check out Snow White too Teal'c", Jack laughed. "And the Seven Dwarves!"

"For what reason would I 'check out' seven dwarves O'Neill?" Teal'c looked at him seriously. "I believe one would be sufficient."

"Oh – never mind Teal'c, just have fun!"

So, the four friends hitched a ride on an Air Force transport to LA, where Teal'c immediately purchased tickets to Disneyland and Universal Studios.

"You're sure you're going to be okay by yourself Sir?" Sam asked.

"Major, I'll be fine. I _am_ fine – so please, don't worry. I'll meet you all here for a late dinner, okay?"

The three members of Sg1 headed off for a day of amusement park fun, while Jack headed to the hospital. He wore his uniform, figuring that he'd have a better chance of getting in.

When he arrived he went to the desk and asked if Nurse Tina Alvarez was in the hospital. The receptionist looked at him suspiciously but asked him to wait. "What is your name Sir?" she wanted to know.

"Just tell her it's 'Charlie' – she'll know."

He waited a few minutes until he saw the nurse who had helped him – who had been the one person to show him compassion when he was completely down and out. She looked around and frowned, unable to see the man she knew as 'Charlie'.

"Tina", he said softly. She looked at him with a frown, not recognizing the handsome, fit man in front of her dressed in a uniform.

"Can I help you Sir", she asked.

"You already _did_", he answered. "Don't you remember me – it's Charlie – or actually, it's Colonel Jack O'Neill."

Her eyes grew big and then she squealed. "Oh my God!" she rushed over to him and threw her arms around him. "I can't believe it", she pulled back and looked at him, keeping her hands on his shoulders. "It really _is_ you, isn't it?"

"Last time I looked it was", he answered with a sheepish grin. "I just wanted to come back to thank you", he said. "for all you did for me."

"All I did was what any decent person would do Colonel", she answered modestly. "But look at you! You look – my God, I can't believe it." She frowned again. "But how are you?"

"I'm fine", he laughed. "Really – I'm totally fine. It took a while but I had some really good help and I'm doing great."

It was true – she really couldn't believe how well he looked – or seemed. She'd never seen anyone come back like that before – not from the state he'd been in. She had been sure he'd end up spending the rest of his days in a mental hospital, or at least with permanent help. But here he stood, looking fit and happy. It was a miracle.

He took her for a coffee and told her a bit of what had happened. He couldn't tell her any of the classified stuff, but did let her know they'd found the men who had kidnapped him and that they'd been brought to justice.

"And how are Major Carter and Dr. Jackson and Mr. Murray?" she asked. "Oh, and Dr. Frasier?"

"They're all doing great", he answered with a grin. "They're at Disneyland today."

She laughed and they talked for a while longer. He finally had to get up to leave – he had another stop to make. He reached down and gave Tina a gentle kiss on the cheek. "Thank you", he said again. "You saved my life – and my sanity. I want you to know that if you _ever_ need anything – anything at all, all you have to do is call me. I'll always be there for you Tina. You're a pretty special person!"

She watched him as he walked away, out of the hospital, and couldn't help but smile. "You're a pretty special person yourself Jack O'Neill. You look after yourself."

The next stop was somewhere not nearly so nice – but he was looking forward to it nonetheless.

He returned to Skid Row and looked around. It looked the same – yet different somehow. It was still a place for those who had been thrown away by society. He could still see the sadness, the despair, the anger, the hopelessness of people whose lives were lived on the streets. He felt a tremendous sadness himself, knowing that it didn't have to be this way. If only these people had someone like Tina – someone like Sam or Daniel or Teal'c – they wouldn't be here. At the same time – he no longer felt frightened to walk here – and he knew that was because he had friends, he had people who loved him and cared for him. It made all the difference in the world.

Just then he looked up and saw Joe, and felt ashamed. They _did_ have someone like his friends, someone who cared, who worried, who tried to help. Unfortunately, he was only one man – and there were so many of them. If only the rest of the world knew that the people here had had dreams and hopes and lives just like they did – maybe they wouldn't let this place remain as it was. Maybe they'd do something to help these people and give them a chance.

He sighed, knowing that he was just one man as well – a man who cared, but who didn't have the answers. At least he could try and help one person though – at least he could give that much.

He slowly crossed the street to where Joe was standing, talking to one of the women who lived in a cardboard box in one of the alleys of Skid Row. He was amazed at the compassion and understanding Joe showed – and at the love and respect – and trust – he was given by the people who lived here.

Joe glanced at him but then turned back to the woman. He obviously hadn't recognized Jack, so the Colonel waited, until Joe finally turned to look at him.

"Can I help you Sir?", he asked. Jack replied with the same words he'd used with Tina.

"You already did", he replied. "Don't you remember?"

Joe looked at him with a frown and then his face cleared. "General! It's you. My God man, you're looking good. Is that really your uniform?"

Jack laughed. "Yes, this is really mine – and I'm a Colonel, not a General – although who knows – maybe one day if I'm lucky – or if I don't screw up! But you can call me Jack – that's my name."

Joe walked up to him and shook his hand, a pleased expression on his face. "It's not very often that I see people who've been able to get it together, General", he said "uh - Jack. It's just – you look amazing. Is everything okay?" Joe, like Tina, had doubted that this man would ever recover – but here he was, standing proud and healthy.

"Everything's fine. I'm doing well – with the help of a few friends. I wanted to come back and thank you for all you did. Also I wanted to see BJ and see if I could get him to come in off the street. Have you seen him? Where is he?"

It took a second for Jack to realize that Joe's face had fallen and that he looked unutterably sad. Jack felt a sinking in his stomach. "What happened?" he asked softly.

"I'm sorry Jack", Joe said softly. "He's gone. They found him one morning, in his little house in the alley. It looked like he'd died peacefully in his sleep. It was his heart – it just gave out on him. He had a picture of his wife and baby in his hand – and a smile on his face. I like to believe he's with them now and that he's happy. He never was you know – although I think he was happier with you around than I'd ever seen him. He spent his whole life missing his family – and now he's at peace."

Jack stood frozen – he'd wanted to see BJ, to tell him how much he'd meant to him. He'd been a friend when Jack thought he had none. He'd kept him going when he'd thought all he wanted was to die. It was so unfair – life was so unfair. Why did he have to die?

He felt a hand touch his arm. "Don't feel bad Jack – he really is at peace now. He's with his wife and child and they'll look after him and love him."

Jack just nodded – he couldn't speak. After a few minutes he said goodbye to Joe. "Thank you", he said quietly again. "I'll never forget – and if there's anything I can do?"

"Just tell people Jack – tell them about this place and tell them not to forget the people here. These are good people – they just haven't been so lucky. Let people know."

"I will", he promised. He then turned and walked slowly through the streets, looking closely at the people there – smiling, and saying hello to some, nodding to others. He wouldn't – no, he wouldn't forget.

As he came to the end of the street he turned back and looked at the dozens of people just standing – or sitting – or lying on the ground. He watched old ladies push shopping carts full of bags, he watched men singing to themselves or talking to themselves. He watched men and women, young and old, lost – with only this place as their refuge. No – he wouldn't forget.

He turned and walked away, only stopping once to look up. "Thank you BJ", he said. "for being my friend. It's me – the General and I know you're happy now. Kiss that wife and baby of yours for me - and if you can – say hello to Charlie for me." He kept walking, all the way back to his hotel, not noticing the tears that were slowly falling from his eyes.


	21. What the Future Holds

_**So ends another of my stories. Thank you to all my faithful readers and reviewers! I hope you enjoyed this story - and please remember those who are without homes and who live on the streets. They are people, like you and me, who have been unfortunate, but who deserve dignity and hope.**_

_**Thank you all.**_

He arrived back before the others had returned from their day out. He figured they were all having a good time at Disneyland and he couldn't help but smile when he thought of Teal'c. He really hoped his friend had a chance to meet Mickey Mouse.

He was glad, actually, that they weren't back yet. He needed some time alone to think about all that had happened and about where he was going from here.

He couldn't but be grateful to the Nox. If it hadn't been for them he knew he'd probably been in some mental institution somewhere. As it was, he felt pretty good. He was beginning to be at peace about everything. He knew that bringing the culprits to justice had helped.

Oh, he was feeling sad right now, and slightly depressed, but he decided that was more to do with the end of the adventure and finding out about BJ than it was about all that had happened to him. He knew he still had to heal, but he was well on his way.

He was lying back on his bed, just staring at the ceiling, when he heard the door open.

"Jack?" Daniel came in, followed by Teal'c and Sam. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." He rolled over and put his legs over the side of the bed and looked and his friends – and immediately burst out laughing. It had been a long time since he had felt so relaxed, or so free.

It took a few minutes before he could gather himself back together. Every time he looked at the premier team of the US Air Force, the people who had saved the planet more times than he could count, who had defeated countless aliens, ascended beings and super soldiers and were some of the smartest people he knew – all wearing Mickey Mouse ears, he started laughing again.

"O'Neill, I do not understand what has amused you", Teal'c said, looking solemn. "Is it not appropriate, when one visits the Magic Kingdom, to dress accordingly?"

That set him off again. He really didn't know why he found it so funny. Maybe it was because Teal'c was so dignified usually or maybe because his two geeks (he thought with affection) didn't usually show their childish sides. Whatever it was, they looked hilarious.

He looked at Sam and was pleased to see her laughing along with him. He didn't know if it was because of the ears, or because she was happy to see him laugh. Whatever it was, it gave him a warm feeling. There was nothing like seeing Carter laugh!

When he had finally calmed down, after his team threatened him with all sorts of dire consequences, he was able to ask them how their day had been.

"It was fun Jack", Daniel answered, a gleam in his eye. "You should have seen Teal'c on the log ride. I thought he was going to wet his pants when we went down the big drop!"

"Jaffa do not – wet their pants – Daniel Jackson", Teal'c replied in a 'huffy' tone of voice. At least as huffy as Jaffa ever got. Jack suspected that if it had been a few years ago he would have shot Daniel with a staff weapon for saying such a thing. Oh, how things had changed. He almost started laughing again when he thought of Teal'c wearing his Jaffa armor, with Mickey Mouse ears.

"Well, I'm glad you guys had fun", he finally said. "Are you hungry? Have you eaten?"

"No we have not O'Neill. We wished to wait for you."

"Good, because I'm starved." He stood up. "Let's go for some good Mexican food."

"Did you have a good day Jack", Daniel wanted to know as they headed out of the hotel. "You didn't tell us what you were up to."

Jack paused briefly and then kept walking. "I just had a couple of – goodbyes – to make. It was a good day."

"Did you see BJ Sir?" Sam asked gently, pretty sure she knew what he had been doing.

"No, I didn't – but he's okay. He's with his family and I know he's happy." Jack replied.

Sam and Daniel looked surprised. "I didn't know he had any family", Daniel said.

"Yes", was all Jack replied. He glanced up briefly, almost expecting to hear his friend call out 'hey General!' He was sure BJ was okay now.

They spent an enjoyable evening together, much more relaxed and happy than they had been in a while. They didn't speak about the future or about what had happened or about work – they simply chatted about anything and everything, the way old friends, and family do.

They were walking back to the hotel when Jack decided he wasn't ready to go in. "I think I'm going to walk for a while guys. I need some fresh air."

"Do you want some company Sir", Sam asked, much as she had done before.

His lips quirked but he nodded. "Sure, as long as you don't mind being with a grumpy old Colonel."

"You're not old Colonel", she said, tongue in cheek.

"But I _am_ grumpy?" he asked with a grin.

She grinned back. "Not today Sir."

"What are you implying Major?"

"Nothing Sir, nothing at all."

"Hmmmph!" he replied. "Okay you two" he said to the men, "be good and stay out of trouble. We're going for a walk."

"Don't be too late Jack", Daniel cautioned. "You know you get crabby if you're up too late!"

Sam pretended to cover her ears in shock at Jack's reply, but was giggling at the same time, so he knew she wasn't serious. He turned and held out his arm gallantly, and she smiled and put her arm through his. They walked in companionable silence for a while, until they arrived at the beach.

"Wanna sit for a while?" he asked. The sun had just gone down and the moon was shining out on the waves. There were a few people still out, walking slowly down the beach.

"I'd love to Sir", she said softly, as they made their way to some rocks and sat down. "This is beautiful", she murmured softly. "I love the ocean."

"Yeah, me too. It always makes me feel so – insignificant. I feel like my problems are somehow – smaller when I look out into the water. I get the same feeling when I'm in space."

"Really? That's always the way I've felt. And it always feels so peaceful – as if all the noise and commotion of the world just fades away. I often wished I could live by the ocean."

"Or in space?" he asked softly, turning to look at her face in the moonlight.

"I guess", she laughed, "although that isn't very likely. I think going through the Gate and the occasional flight with Thor or the Tokra are about as close as I'll get."

"Don't forget the times we've hitched a ride with a System Lord or two."

"Yeah – not my idea of a fun time though. We're always too busy either trying to escape or thinking we're about to die."

"I guess not so much fun then?"

"No, not so much."

They both sat quietly again, listening to the waves as they moved in and out. Pretty soon there were fewer people on the beach and it seemed to grow quieter, although that was probably an illusion.

"Were you there?" he asked so softly she could barely hear.

"What?" she turned and looked at him.

"When I was with the Nox. Were you there? You and Daniel and Teal'c?"

She didn't know what to say. She didn't want to lie but – "yes, I was there."

"Was it real?" he asked, "or just a dream?"

"It was both", she said. "The Nox – wanted us to help you. They said you'd come a long way but that you would only get better with our help." She glanced at him and then back at the water – because looking at him was too frightening. She didn't know how he felt about this. "We didn't – all we did was sit with you. What happened then – I don't know if it was real or what but it was as if we were -"

"In my head?"

"Yes."

He didn't say any more and she couldn't figure out what he was thinking. Was he angry? Upset? Hurt? She didn't know. "How did you find out?" she finally asked.

"When Daniel talked about the Nox the other day, I got to thinking. I knew there was something you were keeping from me and the more I thought about it, the more I felt like you really had been there."

"I'm sorry", she said gently. "We didn't mean to intrude – we just wanted to help."

"I know", he said, continuing to look out into the water. "It's okay."

She sighed gently and turned back to the waves. She had hoped – but no, that wasn't fair of her. She'd already burdened him enough with her feelings.

"So, you and Pete – really not together?"

"No, not for a long time."

"You were – settling?"

"Yes. I knew that's he's not what I wanted – or needed."

"Oh."

She wanted to scream, to say something, to ask him, but she knew she couldn't – they couldn't. Things hadn't changed.

She was starting to feel chilly, but didn't want to break the silence. It was as if everything had stopped, as if everything was frozen and if she moved it would destroy the tenuous bond that threaded them together, even if only for a short time.

"I told Hammond I wanted to retire", he said.

She turned and looked at him and frowned. "Retire Sir?" she asked.

"Yeah. I didn't want to go back. It's – enough."

"Oh." She looked away, biting her lip. She wanted to cry. "I'll miss you Sir – we'll miss you." She was really afraid she was going to cry.

"He wouldn't accept it."

"He wouldn't - ?"

"Accept my resignation. Said I was 'too valuable'", making quote marks in the air with his fingers.

"I'm sorry – no actually, I'm glad. I don't want you to retire."

"You don't?" he looked at her in surprise.

"No – I mean – I'd miss you and you _are_ too valuable."

"I see. Well, Hammond actually offered me another job."

"He did?" she said in surprise.

"Well, it wasn't really Hammond, although he told me about it. It came from the President."

"The President? He offered you a job?" She was thoroughly confused.

"Well sort of. It was actually Thor."

"Sir?" Her forehead crinkled in confusion. What was he saying?

"Thor approached the President on behalf of our allies – you know, the guys who were there the other day?"

"I know who our allies are Sir. But what did they want."

"Well, it seems that – after I spent time with the Nox – they decided that we were ready to start taking our place with the others." When she still looked confused he went on. "You know – the fifth race stuff? It seems that the Nox and Asgaard and even the Tollan, believe we should start to learn more about what's going on out there and to take our place 'beside' them. But they said we have a lot to learn still. For some reason, they decided that they want me to represent earth and to spend time with them."

"You Sir?" she asked in wonder.

"Yeah – makes me wonder if they really are advanced races. They could have done a helluva lot better. I really can't figure out what they see in me."

"Oh, I think they got it right Sir! But – what does this mean? Where will you be? You are taking this position, right?"

"I _think_ so. They want me to spend some time on the Nox world and then with the Asgaard and finally with the Tollan. I don't mind the Nox, they're great. The only thing is I'll miss meat. The Asgaard – well, they promised me they'd have frozen pizza and they'll stock some Guinness for me. I told them there was no way I'd eat those little disgusting triangle things."

"The yellow ones were-"

"Just as disgusting as all the others."

'Yeah, they were."

"Now, the problem is going to be the Tollan. They're arrogant and I really don't like them."

"No, I know you don't. Narim isn't so bad", she said.

He practically choked. "Uh – he _likes _you Carter, he doesn't like me."

"Oh, that's not true. I think he just – well, he's just a little more serious than you usually are Colonel."

"Right! That and he's a -" he looked at her quickly. "Uh he's a very, _straight_ kind of guy."

"So, you're going to do it? You're going to go off and what – learn things about our allies."

"I guess. It comes with a promotion, although I don't care about that. The President thinks it's important somehow though, if I'm representing earth."

"You're going to be a General? Congratulations Sir!"

"BJ would have been happy", he said to himself. He then took a deep breath. "Thanks. Uh, that's not all though."

"There's something else?"

"Well, I said I would go, but not if I had to learn all their history or study all their science. Those really aren't my things Carter."

"I know Sir."

"So, they told me to bring some help. I thought maybe -"

"Daniel Sir?"

"For the history stuff – yeah. You think he'd like to do it?"

"He'd love it." After a moment she took a deep breath. "What about the science - stuff Colonel?"

"Well, I thought about McKay", he answered. "He's pretty smart and I figured he'd be easy to get along with."

She choked. "Get along – Uh, yeah, he's smart but-"

"But?"

"Lemons Sir."

"Lemons?"

"Yes, he's violently allergic. He probably has other allergies too."

"So, it probably wouldn't be good to take him?"

"No, probably not."

"The Nox probably eat lemons."

"I expect they do – lots of lemons." He stared off into the dark water. "Well, there's Dr. Lee", he suggested.

"Yes, but he's awfully short, and bald."

"Teal'c's bald."

"But not short."

"No, there's that. You think short is a problem? I mean, the Nox aren't that tall, and the Asgaard, well, they're puny."

"But you might get tired of having only two humans with you and one who is – short."

"True. It might be difficult."

"So, any other ideas?" she asked, not looking at him.

"Well, there was one other person – my first choice actually."

"Really? I thought McKay was your first choice."

"No – definitely my second."

"So, who is – this first choice?"

"Well, she's really, really smart."

"Smart?"

"Yes, and not short."

"Good, that's good."

"And she's _not_ allergic to anything."

"That's important", she paused. "Are you going to ask her?"

"Well, I was thinking about it, although she might not be interested in going."

"Or she might."

"True, but I wouldn't want her to feel obliged. I mean, she has a wonderful career here and I wouldn't want her to lose out by coming with me."

"I think it sounds like a wonderful opportunity. I don't think she would think she was losing out on anything."

"It might be for a couple of years."

"Probably need at least that long to learn everything."

"You don't think she'd mind – being away – with me – for that long?"

"No, I don't think she'd mind at all. I think she would enjoy it."

"You do?"

"Definitely. But this person would still have to report to you and that might – make things hard."

"No, I made sure she'd report to Hammond. She would work _with_ me, not for me."

"Even if you're a General and she's – in the Air Force. I assume she's in the Air Force?"

"Yes. But I I won't be in charge of the science portion at all. I'll be more of an ambassador than anything."

"Oh, I see."

"You do?"

"No – I mean – this – scientist person wouldn't report to you then?"

"No, not at all."

"No chain of command?"

"Nope."

"No regulations?"

"Nope."

"Would she be there as a colleague?"

"And a friend", he said softly, glancing at her.

"Just a friend?", she said breathlessly.

"As – more than a friend – I hope."

"Really?"

"Really – if she wants."

"I'm pretty sure –she wants it very much – Jack."

"You are?"

"Yes."

"Sweet."

He let go of the breath he'd been holding and closed his eyes briefly, hardly believing, but giving thanks that he was so lucky.

They continued to sit, side by side in the dark of the late evening. Although , not touching, their hands were resting close to each other. She felt his finger touch hers and for a moment she didn't move, but then she inched her hand closer, letting it rest completely against his.

He moved his hand until it covered hers, the warmth of it sending a shiver through her. They continued to look out at the black water as it crashed against the rocks – both thinking of what the future had in store for them. It had been a long journey – but now it was almost ended. They were now ready to start a new and different one, together.

Jack smiled. He was at peace.

_**The End**_


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